Have you written out instructions for your funeral arrangements ?

Question

When my mother died, my sister and I nearly came to blows over what music should be played....we were both just a bit stressed, and the choices we had to make just took us over the top. I decided that my kids wouldn't have to go through all that, so have written down a nice description of the sort of thing I'd like. I'm not a control freak, conducting things from the grave, so to speak....but just want them to be able to relax and say, well Mum wanted this and that. Have you done something similar ?

Answer 1

i have pre planned my funeral down to the music the obituary that goes in the newspaper, clothing, the book everybody signs and the thank you cards. the headstone, the open and close of the grave. no limo everybody can drive there themselves. i have left nothing for anyone to even think about, all they have to do is call the funeral home and say come get her and everything else will be done.

like you my sister and i did not agree on everything with mom and dad.

Answer 2

i haven't yet, but i should, especially with my heart condition.
i guess it just scares me to be even thinking about making these decisions at my age. i'm 47 and have had 3 heart attacks with more angioplasties than i can count and 5 stents.
my husband knows where i want to be buried, but unless my ex dies before me i won't be able to be buried there (i'm a divorced catholic and it is a catholic cemetery). that's where all of my family members are buried and that's where i want to go.
i really don't want a visitation the day before burial, just maybe an hour before services. i know how stressful the hours are on the family as i have been there, done that far too many times.
music, i have some favorites, really should write them down and let someone know besides by husband where they are.
definitely have to have the battle hymn of the republic and amazing grace - those have very deep meaning for me.
have told anybody that matters that all of my pets that have been cremated and will be cremated before i go are to go with me. just set their urns around my body, that's where they always slept or still sleep
local funeral director is a friend of ours and we have had discussions about it, but not put it in writing. i also need to pre-pay so it doesn't leave the burden on someone else

to morbid to think about any more - sorry

Answer 3

I've told both my husband & my daughter that there is to be NO viewing of me in a coffin before my cremation. I hate the thought of people standing around saying "She looks so natural." And "She looks like she's just asleep."........ Sorry, folks, I'd look dead.

I would not mind having my cremation urn or box on display, along with an array of photos taken while I was alive.

Any song will do, except for "Amazing Grace". Since they sang that at my son's funeral, I can't stand hearing that song. Guess I better make sure my family knows that, too.

Answer 4

I haven't written anything down. My children know what Hymns I want: "Amazing Grace" and " How Great Thou Art". And as people leave they must play "My Way", by Sinatra.

We, as a culture, don't leave the coffin open, thank God. So they can bury me in any outfit, jeans and a t-shirt, will be just fine. They can put the coffin anywhere where there is a spare piece of ground. In the woods. Best place.

No tombstone. I don't want them having to come and put flowers there every year. Why? Thats only my old body. My spirit will be in Heaven.

I will live on in their memories and photographs.

Answer 5

I have my plot and headstone paid for. I'm in the process of rewriting my will for the third time but may not need it if I do things just a tad different. Here in California if you own less than $20,000 in real estate you don't have to put it through probate. Also, if you have less than $100,000 in assets it doesn't have to go through probate. So if I can down size and do a couple of things a little different then no will is necessay, but a pour over will might be nice just for the sake of preventing arguments over personal items. As to my funeral service, my only request is that they do not fight over it for once in their lives. If they fight over my funeral I promise to come back and punish them both severely. The funeral service is for the family. I will already have left the scene so it's not for me. I figure my kids have a life to continue on with and my untimely demise is no time for them to kick back and relax. I plan to put their noses to the grindstone just like I did all of their lives. Sure they probably hate me but I love them the most and they know it.

Answer 6

Yes, I have...I wish to be buried at sunset with Tiki torches lit, and with the setting of the sun. My casket should be wooden. I want my casket spray to go down with the casket. I want the song "The King Who Remembers My Name" played. I will be buried with a satin pillowcase, one of many my mom made me before she died. Satin is the first recollection I have in life. I would feel it on my baby blanket. On my tombstone I want a rainbow with an old skelton key from yester year at the end of it. and on the back it will have "Death is the Golden Key that opens the Door to the Palace of Eternity". The tombstone will probably be the gray, but I would prefer the black, but think the colors of the rainbow may not show up as well.

Answer 7

Yes but not yet complete. I want to have a funeral with dignity though to be creamated.
1. A 7 days daily Christian worship services through a pure grace (Acts 9-11 Dispensationalist church) before the creamation;
2. On the 11th day after I die I wanted to invite all my friends in a ---------------------------, to give me a toast with singings of my favorite Standard Jazz Songs from Franck Sinatra, Elvis Presley, Jack Jones and Matt Monroe then followed by my favorite gospel songs. But I'm still 63 and wanted to live 20 more years through self-discipline.

Answer 8

Yes well not the funeral but the disposal, I want my ashes placed in a container and put into a recess high up on the cliff face at Curium below the amphitheater in Cyprus. The blue of the sea and sky is magical to behold, the cliff faces to the East with the rising sun and I never tired of looking at it. My son, a climber, knows exactly where and will perform the climb.

Answer 9

Although I am a senior I haven't given much thought to that. I don't have any plans of dying soon. Although God might have other plans for me.
But just to feed this inquiry I would like a parking meter placed on my grave site. It has to have the "expired" red flag on display.
I think my wife will choose the right music in my behalf. So long as the music isn't the Beatles, because if it is, then I know I started my slow descent to hell.

Answer 10

I've not bothered writing it down, but I told my whole family that I absolutely do not want any sort of fuss made over my earthly remains.

No funeral service.
No memorial.
Cremation please (since they will not allow you to throw bodies out in the garbage).
And then throw my ashes out in the garbage, for all I care....

As an Armed Forces veteran, I am entitled to a lot more. I don't want it. I don't need it. And my family is not the type to need the pomp and circumstance either.

I sprinkled my Mom's ashes through her rose bushes. And my Dad's down in the bush where he spent so much time hauling deadfall into organzied piles and stuff. It was what they wanted.