How do I get over my husband's infedelity? It's been 1 year, and my feelings are still hurt!?

Answer 1

It takes time to heal from this emotional trauma. There is no quick fix.

I hope that you have some good support and that your husband is doing what you need to start rebuilding. It takes time to rebuild trust and most state it usually takes around 2 years to really get back to feeling more at peace again. That varies.

Try a good support group as a place to vent and understand what you are going through. A counselor who is certified in couples counseling, who has experience with infidelity might be helpful. Many couples have to try more than one to find one right for them.

Resources
A few good books:
"Not Just Friends" by S. Glass
“Surviving an affair” by Dr. W. Harley
“After the Affair” by Springs

A yahoo group that has many helpful articles and links in FILES. Not a good support board, not very active. But, loads of stuff in files. Simple to join.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/

A few other helpful sites:
http://www.dearpeggy.com/
http://marriagebuilders.com/
http://betrayedspouse101.tripod.com/
http://www.beyondaffairs.com/
http://peterfox.com.au/index.html

A few good support forums for those dealing with infidelity. Lots of helpful people who have been through this trauma.
http://www.lifesaviors.com/SI/
http://survivinginfidelity.com/

An ebook written for the wayward spouse to help them understand what they need to do to rebuild from the damage they created:
http://www.aftertheaffair.net/

Some marriage weekend programs:
http://www.retrouvaille.org/
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi011_dates.html

Answer 2

Dee seriously if it's been a year and you've done everything you can do to fix your relationship and stop him tripping and accidently sliding it inside someone else's panties and your still hurt and cant move on emotionally and your love isnt enough.

Then you've run your course , you tried , you didnt run or divorce him , you gave him the benefit of the doubt and trust or what ever.Time to file for legal seperation , because if your not over it by now your not going to be sorry honey.

Its been 4 weeks for me and I didnt last a year I lasted 7 months trying to give him a 2nd chance , I just didnt have the strength to forgive and forget and work on it.

Answer 3

Trust issues are always going to be there. I can say time will help but that does not always happen. When my husband cheated on me I thought that i had gotten over it after a while but every time we would argue I would throw it in his face and the argument would get worse. After a while I was the one cheating and it continued with me for a long time into our relationship.

Answer 4

I totally understand, my former wife had an affair& Inever coould past it!! We ended up in Divorce 5 years later. After another affair.. Oh yea I forgot to tell ya "once a cheated, always a cheater"!!

Answer 5

After committing infidelity, making sure you get over it is your husbands job, not yours. If you don't get over it, he's not doing his job. If he hasn't changed things after a certain period of time, you may want to consider moving on. You shouldn't live your life feeling this way.

Answer 6

I truly believe that something like this is just too hard to deal with on your own. You need to do some counseling with your husband and maybe even on your own to get through this situation. You are still hurting and he needs to understand that hurt, but at the same time you have agreed to stay in this relationship and it is unfair for him to have to "pay for it" for the remainder of the relationship. Good luck to you!

Answer 7

You will never get over it. But in time it will heal. It does depend on how honest he has been and what sort of shape your marriage is in now. It will take 2 years to trust him so if your feelings are still hurt, that is ok. i feel some women who can just get over it must not really care.

Answer 8

counselling. It's the only way to deal with things. It's really really helpful. Makes all the difference in the world.

Answer 9

forgiving is easy, forgetting isn't. been there. if you truely want it to work, let him know that it is still bothering you. the trust that was , was destroyed and it takes time. it will never be as it was but who knows, it might be better!

Answer 10

You don't get over it! You either learn to live with it, or you end the relationship.....Counselling may help you to live with the hurt, learn to forgive him and begin to trust him again......