we have been together 15 years and have a 14 year old daughter. He gives me no money, i am a mature student and have to rely on student loans to keep me and my daughter.
He has been on 4 weekends abroad this year, yet when i mention us going away he says hes no money.
I am very busy with my university course but still manage to keep the house tidy, he does nothing at all to help. He comes in from work, eats his tea and falls asleep, theres no affection-nothing!
On the odd times we go to the local pub, i have to go halfs with him even though i only get £2,500 a year and hes on £40,000. He pays the mortgage and other bills but i pay everything for our daughter and he has the cheek to say i dont appreciate him!
I dont know what to do but i am very unhappy with all of this, do most husbands support their wives? am i making a big thing out of nothing?
advice please
2007-09-22 12:09:42 · 8 answers · asked by maisiejayne 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds to me like you guys need some marriage counseling.the reason i say this is it's good to try every alternative before you divorce.you obviously had a good marriage once,maybe you can have that again.as far as the finances go,it does seem a bit odd.my husband pays all the bills and picks up the tab everywhere we go,but that's not to say ever husband is that way.i know some couples who split everything 50/50!once again suggest counseling 2 him,and if he's not willing then maybe it has come 2 an end!hope everything works out 4 you,if not sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders so you'll be fine without him.
2007-09-22 12:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by catlover30 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have got to put your foot down an tell him straight out. It sounds like you are the man of the house when it should be him. If that is the case, you can do bad all by yourself.
He should help and contribute way more than he's been doing. Do you know if he is seeing someone else? There has to be an explanation on where all his money is going. Especially, if you are not getting any more attention from him. Look at his check stubs and receipts. Figure it all up. If he doesn't want to produce it, then he is hiding something. Look at cell phone bills too.
-Good luck.
2007-09-22 12:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him.
If he pays the mortgage and other bills, sounds like hes paying the lions share
the affection is the thing - do you love him? does he love you?
why do you think he thinks you dont appreciate him?
are either or both of you lacking in confidence? why no intimacy?
Do you think hes having an affair / playing away on holiday? Any evidence?
Maybe you need to speak to him about needing a family holiday and let him know how important it is to you.
Maybe also look to get a romantic weekend away together just you and him...
the spark seems to have gone, and you need to put some effort in to reignite it if you think its worth it....
good luck
2007-09-22 12:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by Still Waters 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like you married man who wants a mother not a wife. My husband and I get busy but we find time. If he really wanted the marriage to work those little holidays he takes could be used for the both of you. He is selfish and inconsiderate. Maybe you should stay and finish your degree. Use this time to your advantage. You can only grow stronger and know what you don't ever want to be involved in again...GOOD LUCK
2007-09-22 13:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband doesn't have a wife, he has a live in maid and caretaker. He is clueless about a partnership or how to support his family. He's obviously old enough to know better but chooses not to. You aren't making a big deal out of nothing. Your guy is a jerk. You would do well to find your way out of this marriage. Real men love and support their family and engage in a real sharing partnership.
2007-09-22 12:18:26 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Lets be honest, this is more about the size of his penis than anything else, this is quite obvious when reading between the lines. If he was big you would tolerate all the things you just complained about as long as he kept giving you the sexual satisfaction only a well-endowed man can give a woman. Women will tolerate anything, even physical violence and abuse, if their man is well-endowed, it renders them powerless to resist or leave, so it is evident you are involved with a man who is poorly endowed. So, should you divorce him? I would say no, but things need to change a bit. Find a man who is much larger than your husband who you can have regular on-going sexual encounters with. You will find that once you are getting the sexual satisfaction you deserve, all these petty little annoying things about your husband that normally irk you will no longer be so bothersome.
2007-09-22 12:30:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
actions speak louder than words....so if there is nothing..and it feels like theres nothing....then there is really 'nothing'
if your still 'in love with him'...then its worth trying to work something out..
if not...then its time to let him go girl...
2007-09-22 12:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Finish school. Get a good job, and let him have his money.
2007-09-22 12:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by Kitten S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋