Before I had kids, I weighed about 135 pounds, on a 5'9" frame.
I gained about 40 lbs, and I've lost about 10 lbs. so far. I work out 6 days a week for an hour a day. He NEVER says anything about how I look, except for when he wants to make a snide remark about the size of my butt, etc. He even goes so far as to say I spend too much time exercising, and that I should be spending that time on household chores. I'm tired of feeling like a fat, frumpy, tired housewife!!
2007-09-22 11:38:15 · 32 answers · asked by Ms. GTO 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW, he's no prize himself.
2007-09-22 11:48:06 · update #1
I run 4 miles a day, and lift weights 4 times a week.
2007-09-22 11:55:47 · update #2
You are loosing it for you, hon, not for him anyway. Your health is at stake. Packing around an extra 40 libs is like packing around a 40lb block of salt for a horse.... (actually, they come in 50 lb blocks.... ever try to lift one???) By dropping the weight, you are adding years to your life, and your heart. Forget the faddy diets and go for counting the calories. Vary your gym work.... and who knows? By dropping the weight, you may end up dropping this crude dude down the road. Go for it hon. It's for you.
2007-09-22 11:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Put the best construction on all his remarks and just be happy. You are doing it for your health this is the most important thing. Perhaps you can talk to him about it just keep trying. He is the man in your life and no body is as important as him so hang in there and now that you are fitter keep him happy by doing more house work maybe even hire the kids to help out now that you have such a commitment. He is important so just keep trying to make him happy. He probably has trouble adjusting to the new, improved and healthy person you are becoming so be considerate and do not leave him behind----maybe you could even take him to the gym----dreams are made of this!
2007-09-22 11:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by njss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm trying to do the same thing! funny thing is he's on the same diet I'm on when he eats here (long story). He doesn't even know it! First your losing the weight for you not him! second he's probably afraid to lose you and is comfortable with you the way you are. Third he knows he's put on weight and has no desire or motivation to lose it and with you losing it makes him feel bad about it himself. In any case he shouldn't put you down. Now for the house if you have a cluttered place its going to be really hard to clean.I love this site. It has helped us immensely www.flylady.net Also look into Body Clutter while your there. For some great recipes try www.savingdinner.com and sign up for the e mails they give you a sample menu grocery list and all. Under body clutter are some awesome healthy low fat recipes! Good Luck
2007-09-22 12:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by renee70466 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
make it obvious that you KNOW he his being a w*****r. cos he is. tell him is being immature and belittle him a ittle, telling he is not putting v good ideas into your kids' minds- weight, respect, superficiality....
go and pamper yourself.
maybe cut exercise down to 4 days a week. in my experience, lots of exercise isn't as effective as healthy, MODERATED eating. and if u exercising 6 days a week then you may be subconciously thinking you deserve that extra helping of pie...which is more damaging than an hour of exercise is good.
do yoga, will help you focus on good things, take focus away from non-important bad things.
what exercise r u doing? if aerobics or something, why not switch to something were u feel like you achieve something too and are learning a skill...this is great mentally as well as physically. say basketball? u must be pretty fit already if u workign out 6 days a week.
golf also good sport. ok, not for losing weight but for keeping busy and learning a skill, applying your mind...also, a round of golf can be 4 hours - 4 hours when u NOT eating...so good :)
but i think my first point is most important. that and just get on with things...ignore him!
2007-09-22 11:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by Julia 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know why they do this?, its because while you are looking fat and frumpy they think no other male will ever be interested in you and you will be his forever no matter what he says to you. Where as you going to the gym and getting yourself back into shape, he becomes very concerned because you will become better looking and other men will start looking at you. Its all about insecurity. So what sort of shape is your husband in?, could he too loose a few kilo's?.
2007-09-22 11:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're doing everything right. Don't let him destroy your confidence. Sometimes a partner has a fear that a better looking spouse will cause problems but if he is no prize, he basically doesn't want you to look better than he does. He has to find a way to take better care of himself just as you are doing. Go for it and stay strong.
2007-09-22 12:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you wanting to look good.
Right now, he's being an a**, because he's probably slightly jealous.
If he continues with the snide remarks, let him know that you're working out to look good for yourself. And that if he doesn't like your butt, then he shouldn't look, huh?
He's just intimidated.
2007-09-22 11:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nobody supported me when i wanted to lose weight. But in my opinion, if we know that we are doing something that is positive and will do no harm to others then we should keep on with it.
But I know it's hard because it's your husband, and not only that his unsupportive but he wants you to quit it for exercising. I don't know but why don't you vent your feelings to him. Tell him why don't you stop for one moment and maybe tell me i'm pretty, i'm sexy, and make me feel like im a wife not a housewife..
Sometimes they need to hear us.. before they become sensitive.. If they love us.. they will understand.. if he still don't then vent some more... he should really understand.. in my own opinion...
2007-09-22 11:43:20 · answer #8 · answered by terra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know it's nice to get a compliment or ego boost but, is that why you're getting in shape? i doubt it. you're doing it for you which is as it should be. if he wants to make nasty comments about your rear or housekeeping, let him. the less attention you pay to it the sooner it will stop. honestly, he sounds a bit controlling and perhaps worried that you've taken the initiative to take care of yourself. maybe he's wondering if you'll leave him when you once again look like the beauty he married. some guys get like this. maybe it's insecurity,who knows?
2007-09-22 11:46:17 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can be my friend anytime! I also run into a similiar situation like yours! I am a person, that strongly believes in health and fitness. I always ask my wife to join me in a health and fitness club and/or walking/running at the parks trails and my wife is never there to support me in this. I told her billions and billions of times, how much this means to me, but she does care how I feel about certain things, that i enjoy doing in life. Now me and my wife are getting very fat and ugly, because she won't join me in a health and fitness deal. Health and Fitness is a very huge plus for me, but my wife does not care or seem to understand me at all. :o(
2007-09-22 11:48:23 · answer #10 · answered by pain_of_unhappiness 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋