Why would an adolescent girl remain in an "abusive" relationship?

Question

Over the years, one of the major excuses adult women have cited as the reason for staying in abusive relationships is economic dependence.

Teenage girls live at home. They are economically dependent on at least one parent. Why then, if they're in an abusive relationship (or what they perceive to be an abusive relationship) would they remain in it?

It's currently 4:07 Eastern Daylight Time. I suspect that none of you will see this question for another hour, because for some reason, my questions are held in stealth-mode, and then they're inserted deep in the list where hardly anyone looks. Can't explain it, but it has happened for the past half-dozen questions I've asked.

Answer 1

Troll-Shark,

Economic dependence is not the only reason a person might stay in an abusive relationship. Psychological dependence (co-dependency) is another. Low-self-esteem, too. Not understanding the difference between "love" and "obsession" (misinterpreting a man's obsessive, jealous, or possessive traits as being signs of "love" instead of signs of instability), is also a reason. Being young is akin to being vulnerable, and naive. Many young girls lack experience and knowledge about relationships. Quite a few who find themselves in an abusive relationship (particularly those who stay in one) come from abusive households...to them, this treatment is "normal." Sometimes they are numb to the effects of the abuse. Sometimes they are ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes they'd rather be with someone (even if he's abusive) than be alone. Sometimes these girls suffer from mental health disorders like depression and/or anxiety. Sometimes they lack coping skills to help themselves get out of bad situations. Sometimes they are drug addicted and this clouds their judgment further.

EDIT: After reading through all these answers and reviewing my own, I've decided to mention something that is so obvious that most of us have completely overlooked it: love. It's probably one (if not "the") main reason someone stays with someone else. I know from personal experience it is very possible to deeply love someone who's abusive toward you. Sometimes you think that if you love that person enough, they will change. Sometimes you think that you have the power to help them. It's a mistake to think you can change someone else, but being young, sometimes it's easy to make this kind of error in judgment. It's amazing what one is willing to allow themselves to go through for love.

Answer 2

I've come across Women who have been in an abusive relationship, some worst than others. But the main reason why they do stay in such a relationship is out of fear. Fear of the unknown of what will happen to them if they do leave.

One Woman that I know, did have the courage to leave her abusive husband, only to be killed by the hands of the abuser. He doused her with gasoline and lit her on fire. So you see, it wasn't about economic dependency that made her stay up until the time she left. It was the obsession the spouse had over her and the fear that he had inflicted.

No one really understands what an abused individual goes through. It's easy to say to leave an abuser. But no one knows the mentality of the abuser and what he/she will do AFTER the abused have left.

Leaving an abuser is of high risk. One would think they know the Individual, but really, they don't.

Answer 3

You're talking about teenage girls who "live at home." Why, in your opinion, would a girl prefer to stay in an abusive relationship with a man if she has a kind and loving home? The truth is, many women of all ages get into abusive relationships because that's what they know. Teenagers living in abusive homes will more than likely get into abusive "romantic" relationships. That, to them, is love. There are very few girls from functional, loving homes that would put up with crap from outsiders. So...the key factor is that they're coming from abusive homes and will go with anyone to escape that situation. And what's the purpose of your parenthetical statement? Are you saying it's all in their minds? Uh hm. I don't know where you're coming from on this one. Too many holes in this statement.

Answer 4

Because they don't know any better. They're young, foolish, and think they can "change" him. They actually BELIEVE him when he says he'll "never do it again". They are emotionally immature, and I wager that some of the grown women that stay in abusive relationships are emotionally immature as well...which is not to justify their abuse in any way.

Answer 5

Because they are emotionally unstable and have been taught through socialization with their parents and observing their parents that the abuse is what they deserve. Just like grown women in these situations they young girls sadly have a lot of emotional baggage that keeps them down. Its only when they choose to see that this baggage is false when they can over come this vicious cycle and provide a better life for their children.

Answer 6

Teenage girls stay in abusive relationships for multiple reasons.
They are being controlled.
They are living by example set by thier mothers.
They don't know where to turn for help.
They don't think its as bad as it really is because he's always sorry.

Answer 7

Because many abusive relationships don't start out with a guy outright beating her. They usually start small and when it does escalate to ouotright violence eithe the woman believes she deserves it our she believes it when he apologizes profousley.

Answer 8

This happens to me sdometimes too. I think it has something to do with when you selct a catagory to post the question that is not on the given list. I usually throw words in that will make it appear in the form I want it in as default.

Answer 9

I'm going to state the obvious:

Because she likes the abuse. She likes the bad boy who abuses her.

Answer 10

They have nowhere else to go. They married the man and now they are stuck to his abuses.... or they dating someone who is abusive and cannot let go.... maybe they love the abuses?