Dawn , this morning I shake the dreams
Outside the silence evokes a lust for life
My bags are ready ,so is my mind
Its been a long time coming
Ive chosen to unwind
Doors locked
I take a last look
Perhaps ill never return
I have all I need , so I stroll down the road
No more of societies heavy load
Crime calls the empty dawn falls
Noon found me rolling far away
No circumstance intervenes today
Changing the world
Burning the candle on both ends
Love is dear much too dear
Fear is a false prophet
I’m swinging through the bends
The sun sank like the titanic
Decision falters welcome miss panic
Outlandish delusion half written tale
I was never born to fail
Yet I crawl like a snail
Reinvent purpose and forgive the lost child
Born reckless and wild
scent of a second wind
scented with wishful thoughts
avoiding the eye that watches
I become history now that my page is turned
A word on a scroll
Inescapable truth
Relentless truth
Unforgiving truth
Night laid my tracks home
Door unlocked
Double guessed and retaliated
Confounded confusion
On my knees exasperated
One day we all take the bait
Clarity in fulfilling fate
2007-09-22 05:22:33 · 10 answers · asked by likeminded 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
you did a wonderful job! keep it up
2007-09-22 13:13:33 · answer #1 · answered by bookwyrm64744 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh wickedness so unearths exhilaration in staying power, Our innocents, infants who can’t supply resistance, Aren’t spared; their human venture on the onset failed. yet who're we to decide with faces that are veiled? Our faces in shadow hiding our shame and guilt, and we spurn tips, fall so low to lick what’s spilt as milk on grimy floor. Why does guy who in heart is acquainted with he ought to conquer enable the darker area To win and draw close the reins and wipe out exhilaration And desire for the harmless guiltless female or boy?
2016-11-06 02:17:32 · answer #2 · answered by fones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its good, but it would better if it were lyrics. You use so many "abstract" words, which generally isn't recommended for poetry. It is better to discuss abstract topics in songs and save only good, thought-provoking imagery for poetry.
2007-09-22 08:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by Linz ♥ VT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I absolutley love the imagery, keep up the good work!
2007-09-23 15:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by kissaled 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so where did you go or are still going when ever i run away fearless i always end up under bridge homeless and alone how do you know what your fate is , is it obvious i cantt find mine
2007-09-22 05:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by self0dest0 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love it. Good job. Great writing!
2007-09-22 05:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by x_beforethedawn_x 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love the end, especially - great poem Dia :)
2007-09-22 19:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweet read, nice one.
2007-09-22 05:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by Norak D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I LIKE IT I LIKE IT!!! VERY DEEP YOU SHOULD SEND IT TO READERS DIGEST THEY WILL LIKE IT...
2007-09-22 06:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by Merle A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is very beautiful
2007-09-22 05:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by Analyst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋