How often do you speak before you speak? Warning Adult Content!?

Question

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....




FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.




SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several mi nutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with
mens balls'



THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if
we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,my sister has never let me forget.




FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
'right now' she would be punishe d .
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of
laughter.




FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a w hi le. I asked him if
he needed to go,
and he said 'No' .
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have
any clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting
worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time
he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!




LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor wh o w ill, in the future, likely think before
she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were
laughing so hard!



Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember
we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak!!!!!

Answer 1

Think before you speak is just about as hard as proof read before you hit submit.

Since I am a compulsive talker, and I think all the time, the two go hand in hand.

Answer 2

Those are all funny. I work at a large hotel in the switchboard area so all guest requests come through me. I had a guest who was looking for a large box that was supposed to be delivered to the hotel. When I radioed the bellman, I asked "Mr Smith wants to know if you have a large package" After realizing what I said and my co-workers laughing, I jumped back on the radio and said "a box, I mean a large box" Which also got laughter for the word box. I work with a bunch of pereves lol.

Answer 3

I liked those very much, and I hope the Yahoo censors let them stay.

Have a star.

Answer 4

How often do you proof read before you hit submit, lol?