2007-09-22 04:44:31 · 12 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Alcoholics Anonymous. Go together.
2007-09-22 04:49:50 · answer #1 · answered by Fly girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit buying the booze and stop allowing it in the house. It's pretty severe tough love, but it is destroying your marriage anyway so it doesn't really matter. Don't allow your spouse in the house except when sober and can slip in like a mouse. Otherwise cut the cord and let the spouse learn from the consequences. I watched my step-father/bartender by profession continue to bring alcohol into the house for my mother when she was on her death bed at age 74 because "She will leave me if I don't". Children lose respect for both persons very fast. Society loses respect for the whole family.
2007-09-22 12:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person with the problem has to admit it and want help. You can't talk someone into it. If you think that you have talked someone into it, it will most likely only be a temporary thing. Someone may address their problem, go to meetings and/or counseling, only to give it a half-aZZ try after being hounded into it. Those are the times recovery fails. What a spouse can do is NOT to accept it. Sometimes a person needs to hit rock-bottom before they want help. And it's hard to hit rock bottom when you have a spouse willing to put up with the crap of a problem drinker.
2007-09-22 16:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by SpeedyGonz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make them stop drinking but you do need to sit down and talk to them about regardless if you feel they will see your point of view. Then at least you know you are willing to support and help them change what you feel is destroying the marriage. If have not brought it up to them at all and just here then you are helping them destroy themselves by just sitting back and watching hopeless for change because you will not take initiative to approach the subject. Alcoholic anoymous will help, you can go together or alone. Most likely when they see that this is because you love and care for them they will respond because they want to save the marriage as well as themselves. Sitting back doing nothing means you are enabling them and complaining about the situation here and to others without having enough commonsense, backbone, love, and respect to approach the subject with them. Whether or not it changes is up to them but if you care then do the suggestions you receive on here or from professionals. Good luck to you.
2007-09-22 12:22:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't the only thing you can do is get him or her to admit that they do have a problem but then they will tell you that they can stop on their own. When they realize that they can't do it on their own most will just give up and say what the hell and keep on drinking. It takes years to get an Alcoholic to admit then get help then stop.
2007-09-22 12:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, only the alcoholic can. You can go to alanon meetings. You can leave literature out for them to read. I caution you not to shame the person. If you use shame as a weapon it sends the person into a guilt spiral and makes the situation worse. If she has been violent protect yourself. Leave the home. Make sure you have some where to go so you can leave for a night at a time. Good Luck
2007-09-22 11:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by Arvind N 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
good question if you ever find out let me know i have been married for 6 years been together for 10 just in the last year he has been drinking a lot staying up for 2 days straight drinking and i can never talk to him about it he thinks i just want to fight.
2007-09-22 22:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by Tammey H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN'T!
Sounds harsh, I know, but it's true.
Best advice ANY ONE can give you is to take care of yourself.
Read up on some info about alcoholics anonymous, and al-anon. Learn the 12 steps (for yourself) and take care of you
I'm a: mother, sister, daughter and wife of alcoholics. I've been through it and know it.
if you ever need to talk about it e-mail me anytime
2007-09-22 11:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this, my ex was an alcoholic and drug addict. It is heart breaking I know, but you have to realize there is nothing you can do to change it, they have to want it and for them not anyone else. I would suggest Al-Anon to help you with what you have to deal with. I hope it works for you but if you need to talk to someone whose been through it, I'm here.
2007-09-22 12:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by Connie D 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can ask them to get help and support them if they do. But remember... You can't make anyone do anything they do not want to do... so if nothing changes you have to remember there was nothing you could do.
2007-09-22 11:52:12 · answer #10 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋