Separated wife is making visitations with child difficult?

Question

Hi all. My wife and I split up in July. We were married 2.5 years and have one child together. She moved to her father's, and he lives 90 miles from where I do. dunno where she/i are going but i've worked hard to do the best thing for my son. I've been sending money to her each week.

The problem has been phone calls and visitation. she has a cell phone that i pay for. when i try to reach her during the week to discuss visitation or just talk to my son, i rarely get an answer. it'll go three, four days at a time. this has happened at least over the course of 3 separate weeks. finally i end up driving the 90 miles to just go get him. she has said she couldn't call back (over several days?), or the phone wasn't charged. one time she left the phone somewhere and didnt go back for it for about 4 days. Her dad doesn't want her using his phone.

I filed custody papers, and this happened again the same week. I got my son the next wkend. should i just keep him til the court date?

she showed up here the day after i picked him up for her, demanding him back. i called the police and since there is a court date, they told her they couldn't force me to give him back. they escorted her off the premises.

I would like rotating custody a week at a time, but my wife is bitching about the driving and having to pay for child care if my son's not there with her.

Answer 1

You are at the beginning of a long journey, I am afraid. It will be difficult for you and your wife to equally share custody if you are going to remain 90 miles apart. One of you may have to move to accommodate joint parenting.

My very strong suggestion is to try to get your wife to agree (or ask the judge to order) some sort of mediation or counseling on joint parenting issues. If you and she can work something out with the help of a trained professional, your next sixteen years (and your child's!) will be much more pleasant.

As to Kate's answer, she is just wrong. Neither of you have a superior right to have a child be with you absent a court order. The police had no authority to make you give you child up pending the hearing. Only the judge can do that.

Answer 2

I'm sorry but she does have a point and where do you live that the police let you have that kid and keep him till the court date ? the police escorted her off the property ? do you have custody? I find that the police were wrong and so were you . so what if she does not want to answer the phone there is no law that says one has to answer the phone if you dont want to . and why do you think she has to answer to you ? frankly I find you to be a bit of a p.i.t.a. . she is doing what she thinks is right for your son and you should be gratefull for that and that you get to see him at all . 90 miles is a ways for some ppl myself included . that is almost 200 miles round trip and that is a difficult trip especially with a child . I think you should lighten up and try to be more accomodating .

Answer 3

sorry to hear that. i was divorced too and luckily there is no child involved.... must be painful going through your situation especially a kid two people love and want all the time.. plus money.

i hate when people go after the money, and not considering other's. i hear cases that mostly woman (although im the woman myself) demanding more money out of ex in some cases.

i divorced without demanding and was easy for me to get it done... suffered post divorce syndrom ; depression.

im so glad i dont have a kid to worry about as i got tons other issues going but anyhow,

i hope she be reasonable and not be greedy as going through relationship mess. i hope the kid isnt too impacted by that.

hopefully both of you be fair about doing away things.