serious question?

Question

I believe that people can be born "gay". I am just wondering if a large percentage choose to be. As a man I can understand why a woman would choose to be with another woman. I can see the reasons for attraction. Of course conversly I can not see the attraction to a man by a man. I am really trying to understand. Is it physical of deeper than that? I know many may say it's is the same as what I feel as far as attraction, but of course if you've allways been gay you would not know that for sure. I have been a "hater". But now I truely want to rid myself of ignorance. It's not the best question to begin my quest for knowledge with, but the first step is always a bit shakey. forgive the wording.

But, why do you think your attracted to the same sex?

I expect many different answers. I am just trying to learn.

I will let the best answer go to a vote. Thanks to everyone who answered. I just don't want to say one person is more right than another in this particular question.

Answer 1

I'm straight and have been married more than 30 years, but I think you're searching for an answer that is so obvious you can't see it. As to being born gay--I'm sure that's true. I KNOW I have a grandnephew who's 6 years old who is/will be gay. I only hope he can accept himself--I know his parents will accept him.
Why is a gay person attracted to someone of the same sex? Because they are gay! There's no answer to that that isn't circular reasoning. NO ONE chooses to be. The biological difference has already been identified in the DNA make-up. It's also an occurence that has been present since the beginning of mankind. My job involves working with 10 Native American tribes and gay members are not only accepted but have special status.
Look at it this way--even as straight man, you know another man is handsome. You see that and note that. What is missing in us and present in gay men is the next logical step--sexual desire. I don't know how to say it, but gay men are attracted to the same sex because they were born as gay males.

Answer 2

I feel that each person has a tendency for the same sex. This tendency is repressed because of society's standards. The reproduction system can not happen between same sex so it is necessary (for now) to mate with the opposite sex. However the attraction is there (I feel). I consider myself straight. However, I, as many men have, participated in the "WHAT IF YOU WERE GAY, WHAT GUY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WITH?" game/question. Every single woman that I have been with admits to finding other women attractive.
I feel that lesbians actually have less to fear than Gay men. mainly because of what you said. "you can see why a woman would like a woman". Gay men repress they feelings more out of fear.
so I feel that we are all "born gay" and we all choose which path to entertain. Some have stronger feeling than others. Some cultures even "change choice". example; in Saudi Arabia homosexuality is considered strange "after" the age of 25. so prior to that it is widely accepted. Sex is pleasure. Love is emotion. you can find both were you find it.

Are you sure your "search for truth" is not just trying to understand your own "feelings"?

Answer 3

I never decided to be straight. I have some gay friends and none of them ever talked of that day they decided to be gay. Gay people just are gay because of something nobody knows about yet.
A gay person feels the same attraction for a person of the same sex as you and I feel for people of the opposite sex.
Why? I don't know. A man and woman live next door to me. What they do sexually doesn't affect my life one bit. The same is true of the gay man down the street. If it's a sin, and I don't believe it is, I'll leave it up to God.

Answer 4

If Rosy was not gay you would hear my words coming from her mouth how disgusting it is. I don't think I am allow to say thing on this site. I think for men the word is tight. I do not understand how one woman can be attracted to another woman. I feel that it is a chosen lifestyle. Many are born with opposite traits. Have a difficult life because a girl is too butch or a boy is too sissy. They need love and this is the way they find it. Sex is a human need in order to be healthy and whole.

Answer 5

I chose to be straight, but could not help staring at the cute guys I went to college with and always trying to shower alone in the dorm to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation. I had no desire to be anything more than friends with women.

After a few years I realized that I could not choose to be straight, and admitted to myself that I was only sexually attracted to other men.

The initial attraction to other men is physical, but to continue dating someone requires more than just a physical attraction.

As to why I am attracted to other men, there is no reason, it just is what it is. I don't know why blue is my favorite color, I don't know why I am right handed, & I don't know why those that I am sexually attracted happen to be men. It's just a part of who I am.

Answer 6

Hi! Im Bi and I think that is since I born, I now have almost 16 years, and this its something you just cant control. I feel more exited by boys, Im a boy, also I have my first sexual expierence at high school with my best friend, a boy, so it feels the same when a straight guy meets a girl. For me yeah. But I have a problem my family doesnt know about this and I dont know how to tell them.

Answer 7

Thank you for trying to understand.I was not born gay.It was a choice I made after sampling the fruits and deciding which one I liked best.A womans looks are sometimes disgusting to me where other guys say "WOW look at that!".All I see is a fat butt and wide hips and big lumps of fatty tissue for granny beads to accumulate under.I mean no offense to women,it is just my own observations and feelings.The bloody hatchet wound is also disgusting to me.In my opinion a man is much cleaner and flavorful.And the penetration aspects are equal as men have the same structure as women in the posterior.Add to that the fact that guys know what guys like,and you have a sexual soufflet of epic proportions.I can see how other guys find women attractive and are keen on seeing lesbian sex and not guys.That is instinctive in most men.When you go outside the "Norm" and experiment as I did at an early age,it is akin to the story of Eve and the apple.Your eyes are opened to the truth and they never close.I believe this is one reason straight guys dont want anything to do with homosexuality,because they might like it.Chances are,they will.I have fooled around with so called straight guys and when it is all over they say it is incredible...From that point they are closeted bisexuals.And there's nothing wrong with it.If there were only three or four in the world,I would call it questionable.But there are MILLIONS of us in this world.That many people can not all be wrong!!!The attraction for me is one of combined looks,age,and personality.Sometimes I look at a cute girl and think "If she were a guy she would be so HOT!!!".Or I wonder if she has a brother with her traits...There are many underlying things I do not like about women as well.Guys are my thing and that will never change.Thank you for the excellent question and your attempt to understand.

Answer 8

You feel that I cannot compare what I feel to what you feel because of different orientation? I know what the color blue is. You know what the color blue is. Inside each of our heads, it's probably the same color, but I can't know that for sure, since I"ve never been you, nor have you ever been me.

What I can say is that I have been around heterosexuals all my life and I have a clear understanding of what they feel. YOU have not known anyone gay since you're beginning your quest for knowledge now. You'll have to take my word until you get to know some LGBT people personally - love is love. What I feel is very similar to if not exactly the same as what you feel.

Answer 9

People are attracted to whatever they get loved from, whatever is less feared by them. If they had a discompassionate parent and it was of the opposite sex, they might be relatively pushed to become a homosexual.

It is the relative sensitivity to our sexual urges or our urges at all that we tend to follow. Times have changed so much with role changes as to how jobs are gotten and who becomes more familiar with whom in the home, that the traditional roles are being busted.

The physical labor of the past is being done by machines and the physical labor of today, whenever it is less environmentally dangerous, is being done by females. This would not include coal mining to such a large extent for instance. But the mental jobs are going to women and minorities, religious not included. So society is changing and we can expect that sexual orientation will change with it depending on where the sensitivity goes in the families and how it gets played out in society.

I think very little of that persuasion comes at birth unless maybe there is an abnormality that is not accepted by the guardians of that child.

Answer 10

I'm attracted to the same sex because I am NOT attracted to women. To put it bluntly I must "fake" sexual pleasure with women. Emotionally I can "love" both men and women, but my love for women remains physically platonic.

Nothing in my life influenced my sexual orientation. My family was typical, many brothers and sisters (all straight) and my parents are still married. There was no "abuses", molestations etc.etc.

With all that said, I can tell you that "I" was born gay.