my friend has been pestering me about her guilt feeling for a night of indiscretion when she attended their high school reunion and finally making out with her first love fifteen years ago. she has been asking me and our other friends if it was all right giving in.
2007-09-22 02:54:26 · 22 answers · asked by frerevivian 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, who is she trying to make feel better? Her husband or herself?
If her husband doesn't know and she is wanting to relieve her guilt, why should she destroy his feelings for her?
If he doesn't know, then telling him would only be a selfish act on her part.
If her husband already knows, then it's different, then she should 'fess up and tell him that she will never do it again.
What's done is done. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes in judgment or impulsive emotional decisions.
Let her draw a lesson from her error and let her never repeat that same error. And let the past remain buried in the past.
Advise her to not tell her husband. She should take this secret to the grave to guard his love and his feelings. Because this is the kind of instance where being honest would be a very selfish act. And he doesn't need that.
2007-09-22 03:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that if it's really killing her, she should probably tell.
It's going to be painful for ther husband obviously, but I think that because she's feeling that bad, it probably makes her realize how much she loves her hubby. A shame she had to do so though to know it.
Still, I'd say that men can take that type of little indiscretion better than women might.
Hopefully it won't destroy the trust her husband has in her too much, and she would hopefully learnt her lesson.
But, yes, if it's that important to her, yes, she should.
We are talking about a kiss here, right??
If it's more then, yes, she should tell too, but the consequences will probably be at the measure as well and she may have to kiss good bye to her marriage.
But, it's much better to tell, than to be forced to do so by events. It won't look the same and she'll be more unlikely to convince her husband that she loves him and that she does regret her deception.
2007-09-22 03:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to shut up about it. She has much to lose and nothing to gain by telling her husband. Her husband is an idiot . Because things like this can and do happen at high school reunions , smart married people attend reunions as a couple.
2007-09-22 03:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's been guilting about this for 15 years? What's wrong with her?
the obvious answer to this one is that if you don't cheat in the first place, there's nothing to worry about.
2007-09-22 03:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should think about it this way. If it were her husband who had done that woud she want to know? I'm pretty sure the answer to that would be yes. So why should she keep it from him. In my opinion there should be secrets in a relationship, especially, of that magnitude. If the relationship is strong they'll survive and if not then may be they really weren't the ones for each other.
2007-09-22 03:02:31 · answer #5 · answered by I'm Bored 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was bad to give in but if she loves her spouse then she should keep it to her self because he will never trust her again and/or the relationship will end. People make mistakes. Tell her not to do it again. Good luck
2007-09-22 03:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by Rhonda 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey can I have your friend's phone number......or just tell her to email me if she did it once she'll do it again......... and so no she should not tell him...if she does he'll be watching her like a hawk........... and end up following her over to my house balling his eyes out while she and I are the best sex she's ever ..and I mean ever had.............his face pressed against the sliding glass door tears rolling down his face saying why why why................... and beingg the polite girl she is ....can not answer because she wont talk with her mouth full
I hope she is HOT!
2007-09-22 03:19:05 · answer #7 · answered by jopaulvon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three questions here.
Is infidelity OK - we can agree that it's NOT.
Should she tell her spouse - That's not a fair exchange. She unloads her guilt at the expense of conflict and lack of trust in her marriage.
Should she be pestering YOU about her her feelings - NO, give her the answers above and tell her not to mention it again.
2007-09-22 02:58:43 · answer #8 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
that should be a pretty easy one to understand as far as getting down with a childhood sweatheart, i think the hubby would be ok with it after he blows some steam off, if he dosen't already know about it. i think she should just tell him and get it over with and move on with the marriage, discribe what happened to him and then forget about it.
2007-09-22 03:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sorta the point of going to high school reunions, the husband already knows what she did if he knows she attended one.
2007-09-22 02:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋