Does anyone need cheering up, lets share some Egyptian jokes?

Question

I will start it off:

A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Cairo and asked to be taken to the Airport.
On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, "Ohhh! TOYOTA!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi.
"Ohh! NISSAN!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, "Ohh! Mitsubishi!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
The taxi driver was starting to get a little miffed that the Japanese made cars were passing his Fiat, when yet another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport.
"Ohh! Honda!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, "That'll be LE 250."
"LE 250? It was so short a ride! Why so much?"
"Taxi meter. Made in Egypt. Very fast."

There was once a police officer who was assigned to patrol the desert at night.
Every night, a priest would take his motorcycle and travel from the monestary to the city.
This would wake the officer up every night and the officer wished to put an end to it,
but the priest had his documentation and the officer could do nothing.
But the officer tried to reason with the priest; he said,
"Aren't you afraid, of traveling alone in the dark in the desert?"
The priest said, "You see, I have with me here the father, the son, and the holy spirit."
The officer responded, " 4 people on a motorcycle, citation you -----------."

A long passenger train was traveling cross country when one of its two engines broke down. The engineer shut off that engine and continued on at half power. Later, the other engine broke down and the train gradually came to a halt. The engineer announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is: both engines have failed and we will be stuck here until they send out a replacement locomotive. The good news is: you decided to take the train today instead of an airplane!"

Answer 1

let me share some good arabic jokes !!!!!

مرة واحد بلدياتنا ضاعت محفظته راح القسم عمل محضر الظابط بيقولوا ماتقلقش يابلدينا هنجبهالك من تحت الأرض وبعد ما خرج من القسم شاف الناس بيحفروا للخط بتاع المترو راح قايلهم الهمة يارجالة سودة وبسوستة

اتنين بيدوروا على زوجاتهم فى السوق، فاتفقوا كل واحد يدور على مرات التانى، فاللبنانى بيوصف زوجته لبلدياتنا وقاله: شعرها أصف
وعيونها زرق وبيضا وقوامها سمبتيك، ها.. وشو أوصاف زوجتك؟ رد بلدياتنا وقاله: سيبك من مراتى ويلا بينا ندور على مراتك؟


واحد معدى لقى ناس بتهيص قوى قال لهم فيه ايه قالوله فى واحد بلدياتناعايز ينط من سطح العمارة قالهم خلاصانا طالعله... طلعله وقاله عايز تنتحر ليه... بلدياتنا قاله اصل انا غبى وكل الناس بتقول علي غبى راح الراجل قايله هاقولك فزوره لو حلتها ماتبقاش غبى حاجة اسمها زى شكلها بلدياتنا : ماخبرش الراجل:البيضة. اقولك واحدة تانية حاجتين اسمهم زى شكلهم بلدياتنا :ماخبرش الراجل: بيضتين.. اقولك واحدة تانية بسيطه و سهله حاجة كبيرةوسودة وبتجيب لبن واسمها جموسة بلدياتنا 3 بيضات راح الراجل ماسكه وراميه
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Answer 2

once a fiat 126 broke down in the middle of the high way, then a generous man with a BMW offered to tie the car to his one and drag it to the first station the man agreed and told him that he would use his flasher(126) if the BMW was too fast the BMW said OK, while in the street the BM saw a Mercedes friend and they challenged a race the BM forgot about the 126 and went too fast so he went on flashing to slow down the BM, mean while an officer saw the race he reported the following to the coming patrol "you will find a BM on 180 km/h leave it, beside it you will find a Mercedes on 180 too leave it, and get me this ******** in the 126 behind the BM that's flashing and wants to pass both of them.

Answer 3

between the funniest grew to become into this guy who grew to become into approximately 60, he regarded like a homeless individual yet actual had a place to stay. He for sure had some psychological subjects (yet i'm no longer making relaxing of that). He walked all around and regarded completely happy. I observed him in a delightful's ice cream parlor sometime sitting on the counter. He grew to become into ingesting an ice cream cone, had it throughout his face, moustache, beard, and it merely regarded so attractive because of the fact he did no longer care, he grew to become into merely lovin' it!

Answer 4

Instead of Cairo, you could put New York, then the punchline would be ''Taxi meter. Made in New York. Very fast.''

Answer 5

Hehe thats funny i can just imagine that japanese guy from heroes shouting very fast hehe.

Answer 6

Nice joke and story, It cheered me up to start the day so thank you.
Give you a star for that

Answer 7

wa7ed rakeb 128 3al sa7rawi zana2 3ala wa7ed rakeb marcedes akher model, fa beta3 el marcedes 2alo enta etkhabalt fi nafookhak, bos 3ala 3arabeetak ye bos 3ala 3arabiti, mesh tefata7 !? fa beta3 el 128 2alo enta mestahyen be3arabiti ? tab dana 3arabiti feesh zayaha fel donya kolaha, di feeha mared. mared ? 2alo, ah, mared, erken yafaragak.. rakano, ye beta3 el 128 2am da3ek el kaboot tele3lohom mared kebeeeer, 2alo shobeiki lobeiki 3abdak ye melk 2edeik, 2alo etnein shaii besor3a 3ashan ana yel beik hanetfahem delwa'ti, beta3 el marcedes mesh mesada2 nafso 2alo tebadel ? la2. tab badel ye khod ershein fo2 el be3a, hein hein...wafe2 beta3 el 128 ye badelo el 3arabeyat. elraguel merawa7 bel 128, nada awlado yel madam, eh da ya baba ?!ekhiii! bas estano ya 3eyal, ana hafaragko, da3ak el kaboot, tele3 el mared, shobeik lobeik 3abdak ye melk 2edeik, 2alo shayef el villa beta3ti di? 2alo ah, 2alo 3ayzak temlahali kolaha dahab ye megawharat, 2alo la ya beik ana beta3 shaii ye 2ahwa bass ! :)

Answer 8

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Oh they are funny, I was feeling very upset because my friends came to visit & they have now left, thank you for making me LOL again!

Answer 9

Lol thats pretty good

Answer 10

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
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صعيدي جزمته أتقطعت خيطها
>وبعد أسبوع لقاها بقت كويسه فك الخياطه.
> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>محشش قطع رأس أخوه وهو نايم وقعد يضحك
>ويقول:هيتجنن لما يصحي وميلقهاش!!
> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>ولد بيسأل أبوه:هي الحمير بتتجوز؟
>قاله :يا بني مبيتجوزش أصلاً غيرالحمير
> >.------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>مين أكثر إنسان صابر في الدنيا؟؟؟
>صعيدي ينتظر إليسا علي قناة إقرأ.
> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>واحدة بتقول لجوزها اطرد السواق كان حيموتني مرتين

فال لها : خلينا نديه فرصة ثالثة.

> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>صعيدي قال لأبوه: رخصة السواجة خلصت يابوي
> قاله:من لفك في الشوارع طول النهار يابن الدزمة.
> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>مسطول صدم شرطي وموته راح متصل بـ122
>وقالهم:أحب أبلغكم إنكم من 10 دقايق بقيتوا121.
> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>صعيدي قال لأبوه أنا عاوز موبايل قاللوا موافق بس تركب أخواتك معاك .
> >------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
>محشش بيسأل محشش التعلب بيولد ولا بيبيض
قاله التعلب مكار توقع منه أي حاجة