I have asked numerous times to GET RID OF THEM, and I still see a few "lingering" sites he gets flirt alerts from, or was added to a hot list. He says he got rid of them?? He tells me it "was" for "fun" to see if he knew anybody on the sites, and that I'm insecure. I have my own suspicions. I'm confused!
2007-09-22 01:29:46 · 20 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's planning on cheating. A "committed or married man" has no need to be on dating websites in the first place!
2007-09-22 01:34:40 · answer #1 · answered by ranch_tester 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I bet he is the one who is insecure. He will probably end up cheating at some point in your relationship if this continues. Here is a suggestion, go onto the site he is on and create a profile too and make sure he "happens to notice it". I would be curious to know how he'd liked it. I would definately pull back a bit in this relationship and evaluate or maybe talk to him after this experiment and see what he needs from you to make him feel sexy again.
2007-09-22 09:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by hot lips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was into the dating sites a couple years ago. He met a woman and had an emotional affair. Most of their conversations were about me and our relationship. He ended it on his own, actually before I was able to break into his account. It was a huge wake up call for me. Our relationship at that point was on the way out, and I was not wanting to deal with anything. We both somehow came around and decided to make it work. Things have been better now than they have been in years, so I can't say I regret that it happened in the end. I am not sure if he ever would have actually cheated at the time, had it kept evolving. However, I know he is trustworthy now. It was terrible to go through. You just walk around with a knot in your stomach that won't go away. In our situation, we had things that we were not agreeing about. We had both taken a stand against each other and were not willing to compromise. That went on for years until neither one of us gave a dam* about the others' feelings anymore. Looking back it now seems natural that one of us was going to look elsewhere for understanding and attention. I don't think you will just "stop" him from looking at the websites. If he wasn't looking on the internet, he would be looking at work or at the bars. You likely have things going on with the two of you that need to be worked on.
2007-09-22 09:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by I39 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is using the insecure statement to put you off gaurd, to doubt yourself.
No matter which way you look at it, it is wrong what he is doing. I would put an ultimatum to him.
You know it is wrong. The best way to get around these things is to have a boundary with each other that states 'if one of us are uncomfortable about a situation relating to the opposite sex, then we both should take those concerns seriously'. Anyway he really should have known in this situation that it would cause concerns for you.
2007-09-22 09:37:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not confused. You are dead right. He is playing with fire. Tell him to make his wife and his marriage his priority or to get on down the road. Tell him if he wants to be single and date, then to go do it and stop putting you through the grinder.
There is no reason a married person should be behaving that way. Of course you are insecure! You SHOULD be.
He needs to take the time he is spending on these sites and go play with his wife. Grrrr.
2007-09-22 08:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It may only be out of curiosity that he posted a profile. I have done that with no expectation of meeting someone. However, it's disrespectful to you and he should drop them. They are pernicious and when you think they are deleted you still get flirts.
2007-09-22 08:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by Big Red 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a married man I have no need for my space or
dating websites, as they are no use to me, why
because I love my wife and she loves me and
that way everything else is taken care of. A good
man that respects his wife would never do any-
thing to disrespect her or their marriage, just that
plain and simple.
2007-09-22 19:00:44 · answer #7 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but it takes forever for them to actually delete your profile, and then you get email from them and everybody they sell you email id to for many, many months afterward.
Maybe he was just curious, but tell him this from having met a few women that way in my single past, all the women on those sites are nuts. Tell him I said so.
2007-09-22 09:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hes gonna cheat on you or has already. No need for him to be on those sites regardless of the "reason" he gives...He's not happy with something in your relationship and is looking for that happiness elsewhere
2007-09-22 08:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by suzie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confused,
He is either very immature or very ignorant of what he has. I suggest that you and he begin studying the Bible with a group of Non-Denominational Christians near your home. I would be glad to assist you in finding such a group if you need it. My wife and I became Christians over twenty years ago and I would not do such a thing. I am completely devoted to GOD and to her. Have a wonderful day.
Thanks,
Eds (Christian)
.
2007-09-22 08:55:25 · answer #10 · answered by Eds 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋