My wife and I made the mutual decision together that we would move and relocate to another city. We agreed that I would go and find a job and a house. So I did and now she refuses to move here. She lives by her sisters and parties with them and her family interferes with our marriage. I wanted to get her away from her family and now she says she will not move. Then she told me she can't quit her job unless she gives her work place a 3 month notice. I finally told her either she moves here with me or she doesn't and I'm not going to fight about this anymore. What do I do now? I can't force her to make the move and I will not move back. Her family and I don't get along.
2007-09-22 00:58:56 · 20 answers · asked by jon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give her a deadline. Tell her she has 2 weeks to make the move and if she does not, then this marriage is over.
2007-09-22 01:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You couldn't see the set up? She let you move first b/c she had no plans to move in the first place. Any wife worth her salt is going to handle her business and go with her husband. Sounds like your wife still has some growing up to do. If she allows her family to interfere in your life and your marriage then leave her *** right where she is and go on with your life. You're in a new state and new city, get a new lease on life. Start completely over again. I hate that happened to you and no one deserves treatment like that but turn the situation around to be something good for you.
2007-09-22 08:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Southern Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my goodness - you've answered your own question. Sometimes we just need confirmation.
If you have tried counseling - then kindly advise her that in 3 months you will begin proceedings for divorce proceedings. Maybe without you there she will see what life would be without you - - - and If you have an attorney - write him a letter advising him of your decision - so that later on down the pike she doesn't try and suit you for abandonment.
I know you love her so keep this in prayer . I am almost positive that she was like this before you were married - "Selfish" that is and her family will now try and make her feel guilty by telling her to let you leave - but it is she that will rue the day you left.
If you take my advise be sure to still make your portion of the bill payments -
Good Luck
2007-09-22 08:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by Eva 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never understood how it is that when you get married some people do not realize that the new spouse takes precedent over their family.
I feel really bad for you as I know how this feels, my spouse can't seem to break that family tie either. We have moved 200 miles away but if they call and need something from him...he's gone, no matter what. Very frustrating to say nothing of the hurt knowing they're wishes and feelings take precedent over mine.
Give her an ultimatum. She is your wife and should be with you.
2007-09-22 08:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man..what you have done is the right thing. After taking a mutual decision and after you making all the arrangements if she dose not want to move then she is at fault. At the same time she is not showing any respect and love for you.
Only one wicked solution I have and that is....for time-being ignore the differences with your in-laws and start staying with them. consider their home as yours and be a king there. They will be the first ones to send your wife out with you at the earliest. Try it ...best of luck.
2007-09-22 08:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by handful_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is rejecting the move with you, technically, she's rejecting you. Its obvious she wants to be close to her family, and chooses to do so.
Its time you both sat down and talked about this seriously. She cannot expect you two to be married if you live apart!? And same with you.
Its a tough decision, however, maybe its time to say goodbye. Remember----everything in life happens for a reason!
Sending you love and Support...
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2007-09-22 08:05:14 · answer #6 · answered by deleriumbliss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot control or change anyone. I believe that you should move on. It sounds as if you made this move to get her away from her family. I am sure that she resents you. She is an adult and has a right to have a relationship with her family whether you like them or not.
I believe that you have pushed her away.
2007-09-22 08:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Years ago I had a pretty similar problem. My wife couldn't get away from her mother, and spent several months moving back and forth between us. After a couple of years, she made her choice, and she became my ex-wife. I moved on and remarried, and have several years with my second wife, very happy years.
2007-09-22 08:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by Beau R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear of your problem but you answered your own question you did all you really can do you said she moves or she dont just let her alone and call in few weeks not to see if she is moving just ask how she is and whats going on in her life if she brings up moving like to say i told you i wasnt moving just say oh that i gave up on that but i just wanted to know if you or i were going to start divorse papers dont fight talk calm let her know you wanna make it work but cant if you both cant come together hope it works for you good luck
2007-09-22 08:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by ibebarbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no job makes u have a 3 month notice. family's always stick there nose in i would know. ask her why don't u want to move here? just be honest and tell me what u want!! it sounds like she don't know what to do and may want out of the marriage and family isn't helping!!!! if she don't want u sucks to be her cuz u seem to have been to kind already....... and u wont have trouble finding mrs. right........how about asking one of ur friends to find out stuff?? i wish u the best!!! i am single and girls out there do this to good guys while we try to find them when we do we both have been hurt alot and it tuff to make it work!!!! straight out tell her i am staying here if u want to be with me do it if not tell me i am ur husband!!!
2007-09-22 08:13:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋