Problem with malicious neighbour?

Question

Can anyone give me any advise. A retired couple moved into our quiet cul-de-sac and they hate it but don't want to have to sell up again, seems they are just intent on moaning about everything.My son has a motorcross bike, I am a responsible parent and he is only allowed to ride it on a track, however once a week he'll give it a service and start it up for no more than 5 mins, he rides it up and down our driveway during this time, I spotted the neighbours taking a photograpgh of him. My husband challenged it and he deNeyed it, my son spotted him doing the same again last week.I had to park my car opposite his house as I had a skip on my drive, I know thats another thing he hates but I had no choice...and I am legally entitled to do so, it got badly scratched, no proof but know it was him. Now someone has rang Police saying my 2 dogs run around the street and attached another. They are never out unless on lead or in secure dog run. Any idea's what I can do, I feel I'm b'in victimised.

Some wxcellent answers so far, just add add to the person who said bikes were a pain, yes I know they are if continually riden, thats why there is a very short time limit my son is allowed as I am trying to be a responsible neighbour, and as for dogs barking they are only in in garden for about 15 mins, apart from their walks on leads they spend most of the day snuggled on the settee lol. There are however plenty of other dogs around that do bark none stop.

Answer 1

There are a couple of ways you can go here.

1) Don't worry too much. If all you are saying is true, there's little the neighbours can do to really harm you. If the police come round, just be polite - invite them in etc. and tell them your side. Without indepedent witnesses against you, they can't prosecute you for any of the accusations. In fact, if they keep getting called out and they don't see you doing anything wrong, they'll soon realise that the old gits next door are the problem - not you. There needs to be quite a catalogue of evidence against somebody from a number of sources before anything like an ASBO could be sought. If it's just two old pillocks making trouble for you, ignore them and let them worry themselves into an early grave over it. In fact, go out of your way to be obsequiously polite to them. Smile and Yell "Good morning!" every time you see them, especially if others are about. It'll really annoy them!!! At the same time, make friends with the neighbours ASAP - even if it's only superficial. For example, if somebody else takes a dog for a walk in the area, latch onto them with dog related niceties and get into going to take your dogs out together. This will give you an ally who will vouch for your being a good dog owner as they will see you as like themselves.

2) This one's a bit more malicious... If the old guy continues taking pictures of your son, send him out there in his PE kit, then make counter allegations that the old guy next door is a bit of a perv. Send your son out to tinker with his bike at the time that other kids are coming home from school, or people arrive home from work, so there'll be people to see the photographing taking place - and you might even get a few snaps of other kids in the background. In fact, encourage younger boys in the neighbourhood to come and admire the bike in action... I'm sure I don't need to tell you how much trouble could be stirred up against an old bloke taking pictures of a young boy in his PE kit these days...

Answer 2

Whew. That is horrible! I would actually consider consulting a lawyer on this. You are being harassed so to speak in my eyes, and should not be made to feel like a prisoner in your own neighborhood/home. Contact the police department and let them know what is happening. Ask them about your son riding his bike in your driveway (which I think is PERFECTLY acceptable) but check with them just to be "safe". Tell the police that the neighbor comes out and takes photos of your son and that he is denying it to you. Tell them about the parking situation too. This way, you become aquainted with your local police, stay calm and peaceful when you speak to them, and they will begin to see what is really happening on your street. Ask them what you can do about this situation since you've lived there before this couple moved in. Report the scratches on your car to them as well. That is vandalism and a crime no matter how small the scratches are. It is also trespassing as the person was on your property. Good luck and I hope that this works out for your family.

Answer 3

You will be more successful if you arrange to sepnd some time with them - sitting down over a cuppa or a meal, or something civilised. They may not understand that your son has to rev his bike up for 5 minutes a week. Explain this to them, and ask if there is a particular time they would prefer he avoided - for example - not after 10pm.

Don't be intimidated by them, but don't be unfriendly either, just be honest and open and friendly. To be honest, you describe them as malicious, but I don't see any real evidence of this. You have no proof that he scratched you car. Befriend them before they become enemies.

Answer 4

I've been in your shoes and believe me, it's very hard to be nice about it. Infact our neighbors nextdoor are the same way (minus the photographs). When we first moved here, they hated the fact that we had a basketball hoop thing (I don't know the techincal term) and so when a ball went into their yard, we'd go and get it. There were times where they've kept the basketballs and said they belonged to their grandson, whom I know doesn't play any sports at all and it's a flat out lie. There's not a lot of room to park on my block and they'll have their panties in a bunch if someone (god forbid) were to park in front of their house. They park their cars in their garage, so why would this be an issue with them? They also grew mini trees separating our property line from theres from the front to the backyard, which is fine because I don't want to see them. The wife just looks so unpleasant to be around, she looks like an overweight Beau Arthur and the husband looks like an obese older Burt Reynolds (minus the hair dye). He likes to complain about us, but there have been times where I've come outside to see him parading around without a shirt on. Now that should be against the law!

Answer 5

Well...the first thing I would suggest is going to be VERY hard for you to do. But I would ask you to consider it.

Try to 'de-escalate' the situation. In other words...give them one more chance. Bake them some cookies and knock on the door. Invite yourself in for a little chat. Let them know that you want to be a good neighbor. Ask them about where they are from, and make small talk. DON'T bring up any of the issues you just wrote about in your question. Don't tell them that they are 'good' neighbors, don't tell them that you are happy to have them. In short....make a peace offering without actually verbalizing it.

I know this sounds like an impossible task, but it's MUCH better than the alternative. These folks have the extra time on thier hands to make your life miserable. They will nitpick you to death. You might be surprised how thier attitude changes if your whole family is extra nice to them.


If this doesn't work...well, any other suggestions I have would be highly illegal and revenge oriented.....I'm sure you don't need me to give you any bad ideas....but I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

yeah its bs to have neighbors move into your hood that find your hood not to their likes. They should have put more into the investigation proccess b 4 buying . That and it would seem that if the problem is with you, they might grow nuts enough to take it up with uuhhh YOU. lol good luck i find taking the straight foward approach to be very effective. Tell them the common since in this would be NOT to wage conflict when it is their burden to fit in not yours. Oh and always fun is the masive get together of friends and family as show of force.. But they are probably going to be your neighbors for a while and are your fellow americans im guessing. Fun with it a minute but keep in mind the big picture good luck

Answer 7

Firstly, to take your son's photograph, without his permission is an infringement of his human rights. Speak to them and tell them this and also tell them that as some childish vandal has scratched you car, you have set up a closed circuit video camera to watch over the area in the future. He is also wasting police time, which is an offence in itself so I suggest you mention this to him. Tell also that he should take very good care of his car if there are vandals about as they might just do the same to his car. Most of this is bluff but if his victimising continues then you report him for threatening behaviour. Best of luck. Last thing, use your spell check.

Answer 8

They are clearly anti-social. Best advice could be from their previous neighbours- if you can find out - for the elderly couple must have had a strong reason for moving. You seem to be the sort who don´t "hit back", which is fortunate for then they will have something to bite on. Takes two to argue and when they have nothing to bite on, they will feel such fools, as indeed they are, for good human relations are very important. And to form such relations, we all have to make ourselves vulnerable to rejection. You could perhaps try to give them a little help to overcome their problem but it needs nerve to tackle in this manner. Wish you good luck in your situation.

Answer 9

Bear in mind that those bikes are bloomin annoying. They probably want a bit of peace and youre there with bikes revving and dogs barking. There is no excuse for damage to cars but you dont know its them and lets face it its more likely to happen the one time you park on the street.
My advice is put a note through their door apologising for the bike noise and letting them know youll control it to only occasionally, and tell your son to kill the engine if they ask.

Answer 10

Taking that your point is correct, that it maybe one sided. But there are plenty of people who like nothing more than to moan. Don't lower yourself to their level. Even if you were a nuisance neighbour. They would not be able to do anything anyway. Just ignore them or buy a banger and park it outside their home lol.