My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a big diamond.
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
A couple are lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says: "I'll miss you."
He said: "Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly."
She said: "Well, you've succeeded."
He said: "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said: "That's a good idea......you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
He said: "What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?"
She said: "Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat git."
Q - What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A - A rumour.
Q - What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A - 45 minutes
2007-09-21 22:52:52 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Plumsucker2000- a little too much information there.. lmao.
2007-09-21 23:08:44 · update #1
LMAO Copied and sent to all my friends. A star for you!!
2007-09-22 03:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by D and G Gifts Etc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
great makes a change for teh joke to be on him makes achange from tea,or what hes dribbled and slurped on himself.you obviously had boyfreind and hubby as you seem to ave experiance.ive done 22 years still cant fig trumpin scratcin fidlin wiv their bits burpinand swearin at same time and the constant need to talk about toilet habits nver guess man created the world.how thin would be dif if women ad men would be nice then cos wed be in control and no horible smells
2007-09-21 23:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by sallyaboulter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice jokes. Guys, never buy your gal a mood ring! A * for you though I am a guy!
2007-09-21 23:17:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sharp Shooter 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very good,,,,,,,,keep them coming,
Q What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A. 45 pounds
2007-09-21 23:02:31 · answer #4 · answered by Bio Hazard 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Appreciate the short and good jokes.
2007-09-21 23:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHA very funny! Star for you!
2007-09-21 22:59:33 · answer #6 · answered by rayvon :-) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
those are good. u remind me of the one i have abt 'Men's Pick-up Line Destruction'
http://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AohoLEoXw5_FyyssbdW_XgqJSAx.;_ylv=3?qid=20070922071640AAbhqo4
2007-09-21 23:15:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is some funny ****...the first one is great!
2007-09-21 23:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
they are very funny,thanks for making my day a whole lot better.
2007-09-21 23:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the mood ring one made me piss well done
2007-09-21 22:59:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋