I am going through an ugly divorce right now. My 3 year old daughter is in daycare and she pushes other kids around. If she is trying to talk to the babysitter, and another kids also wants to, she will push them out of the way. She is not normally like this, and I am very upset. The babysitter will give her time outs and she still does it. The babysitter is giving me one week. :( I am so scared. I am a single mom, no family in this state to help me, and if I lose this babysitter, I will lose my job, my place to live, etc,. Please, any good and realistic suggestions on how to stop this behavior. I am a loving, patient mommy and I will do what I need to do, that is within reason, to correct this, so everyone will be happy at the end.
2007-09-21 21:01:40 · 7 answers · asked by trancegoddess2001 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Explain to her to USE HER WORDS. Over and over use your words, use your words. Let her know she is a big girl who knows how to talk. Explain...
"Using your hands to get what you want will only get you into trouble. Tell the babysitting or your friends what your feeling and they will help you and listen. It is very important to be nice to your friends, and they will be nice to you."
Discuss different feelings with her and practice communicating emotions. I feel hungry. I feel sad because____. That made me feel angry because ______.
2007-09-27 06:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by suzette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I am so sorry that you and your daughter are having a hard time. She must be testing the boundries....trying to see how far she can push a situation before it changes...ie someone leaves.
The only thing I can think of is to tell her how much you love her and how much everyone at daycare likes her....tell her that you will never leave her and that if she can make it through a whole day without pushing then she'll get a treat. I do think the babysitter is being harsh though...does she know about th divorce? If so then she's a bit cold for thregood luck.atning to kick your child out...she should be helping! Look around for another one....there will be someone out there to help...
2007-09-21 21:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak firmly to your daughter and tell her she can't push - she needs to share the babysitter and wait her turn. I know this is hard for a 3 year old to do. One week is probably not enough time to change a three year olds behaviour so I suggest you beg the babysitter to be patient with her and tell her you are working on fixing the problem. If she knows you are trying to fix it, she may be lenient with you and give you a bit more time.
I think your daughter is doing it for attention - you are going through an ugly divorce and may not be able to focus on your daughter as much as you would like to at this time.
Hang it there - things can only get better..
2007-09-21 22:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think you should tell the babysitter to bear with you. Afterall, this is a 3 year old we are talking about. This behavior happens a lot, and it's up to the babysitter to help discipline her as well. Give her times out, tell her that it's not nice to push other kids, etc.
Secondly, talk to you rdaughter and tell her it is not acceptable to push another kid at all. Ask her if she likes the kids at the daycare, and if she likes the babysitter. Ask her why she pushes kids, and hopefully you can talk her out of it.
Good luck.
2007-09-22 02:11:51 · answer #4 · answered by melly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a very tough spot dear and I for one do not envy you.By any chance was there domestic abuse to you or her before this ugly divorce? If so then talk to her doctor about referring her for some help. If there was no abuse then she may just be having trouble adjusting to the changes at home. When I got my divorce my oldest was 3 and my middle child was one. Haylie (my oldest) had a real hard time adjusting and it took her about a year. I had a talk with the sitter and explained and she was sympathetic to the whole situation. Assure her that your working on this with your daughter and that you appreciate her keeping her even though she's having a tough time right now. As far as working wth your daughter there isn't a whole lot you can do other than wait it out, give her lots of love, reassure her that everything is going to be ok and whatever you do try not to let her see you crying, upset or yelling on the phone at your ex. Kids tend to mirror thier parents emotions. Good Luck and I'm sorry your having to go through this. If you need anyone to talk to then just send me a msg. It's hard to do it on your own.
2007-09-21 21:14:32 · answer #5 · answered by Brandi H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your daycare provider gave you one week?!!!! surely she is more understanding than that. explain to her that your child is going through a lot of distress right now in her home life. i cannot believe that! any good daycare provider would be so much more patient with a child going through this. tell your babysitter that you are desperately trying to help your child through this and that you need her help to get your child through this, too! explain to her that as one of the constants in your child's life, it is so important that you and your child can count on her. if she has a heart at all, she will understand. keep giving your child love and understanding. so sorry her caregiver is adding to your problems. good luck and God bless.
daycare owner in texas
2007-09-24 16:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by trace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try, instead of disiplining her for the her for pushing, reward her when she doesn't push or shove.
2007-09-26 13:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by baby G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋