to former believers?

Question

When you finally realized it was all baloney, how did you deal with the loss? You can't lose something that has been such an important part of your life for years, without some grief! How did you get through it?
I'm going through that right now, and I feel lost and alone! There just is no comfort for a thing like this, so what do you do! Were your families supportive? Parents, spouses?
Thanks for your comments!

of course I mean when you lost faith in your religion, or even God!

Answer 1

i used to believe yeas ago, i was a christian, and i parayed very day, and kind of worshipped to some etent, but now i feel like ive been cheatedon, as if it was all just a story.
my reasons is a simple one, if there wasa god, then there would be no such thing as peadophiles, terrorists, murderers, rapists etc,
i know this would be the idea for a purisrt world, but thats what i believe now.
good luck.

Answer 2

Giving up formal religion and giving up faith and spirituality are two very different things.

My crisis came in the late 80s as I was faced with losing my two best friends to AIDS, and the horrid, judgmental way my church going Christian cohort was NOT helping them or me deal with the pain and the questions, because these were two VERY good, loving, kind people.

I went through all sorts of things - anger, mostly, but all the things you do when you are grieving. I finally reached a point, through a lot of reading and quiet contemplation, where I'm happy with my own beliefs about humanity, nature, the universe, souls, existence, etc. I won't push my own personal beliefs on anyone, but I will say I'm at peace, and I can deal with my Christian friends in a loving way now, even though we still disagree on almost everything!

Please do not feel everything is baloney. Some tenets, such as loving your fellow beings, stewardship, forgiveness, charity to those in need, can make your experience in life much more positive.

For reading, I would suggest you see what science has to offer in the field of quantum physics and how it may or may not relate to spiritual experiences.

Answer 3

This so called faith you call it was basically your inner strength, the thing that makes you who you are.
You still have your inner strength, you never lost it.
You do not need to believe in a god to be a strong motivated, kind helpful being.
Millions of people on this earth do not believe in god, and they are good people. They are not evil, and they will NEVER burn in a fiery pit, that's just rubbish.
Have faith, that you are an intelligent being that you have a mind of your own. Don't let other people pressurise you into believing something that doesn't feel natural to you. You shouldn't even worry what others think about you either.
Be a good person, i wont say God bless, more rather
Keep searching for answers.

Answer 4

When it all boils down to it nobody in the world knows for sure what will happen when they die.

What it's about is hope - you either hope there's a place to go to when you die - perhaps be with relatives and friends who have died, even pets - or you don't.

You don't have to be a part of organised religion to believe in something and you're certainly not weak minded if you do believe. I know many strong intelligent people who believe either in a religion or the afterlife.

My personal beliefs I keep to myself - as they are mine alone. I wouldn't criticise someone for their beliefs (as very often happens on here) - they might be right, who knows?

I'd say if you are feeling lost and alone then maybe you need to think things through a little longer - you may come to the same conclusions but you should be happy with what you believe in. Good luck with it anyway.

Answer 5

I am not a former believer. I have always, and still do believe in the existence of God. I do not however believe in organized religion, ( And I do find that there is a distinct difference) I understand your feelings, it is difficult today to believe when you can see so much hypocrisy in the "Christian" leaders, there is also the fact that most of the warring happening in the world is caused by differing religious beliefs. But to me, the existence of God is so obvious that to disbelieve would be hypocrisy on my part.
I think that everyone is born with Faith, but Faith doesn't mean anything until it is tested.
I am not trying to impose my beliefs on you or anyone else, I wish you luck in your journey, and I truly hope that you find whatever it is that you need.

Answer 6

I first had my doubts around the age of 12. And by 15 I was telling my "religious instruction" teacher that I wasn't satisfied with all of the religous nonsense. By the time I had left school, I had read some atheist literature, (and Dawkins' "The Blind Watchmaker") so I was a fully fledged atheist by the age of 20. IT is tough when the people around you are still believers, but please take heart. Your life has taken a big step forward, and now you are a dignified, self-respecting human being, not a cowering, god-fearing fool. Make up your mind to live your life to the full, to have love, passions, adventures of the mind. If the people you know aren't supportive, walk away and find people who are. Be brave - good luck .

Answer 7

Like Andy I too have had the awesome experiance of meeting with God, when I reached the point of death. Yes I am back and able to share with you.
Having thrown out the relgious B/s, I would say to you hang onto God, don`t throw him out too.
Your life will go on just the same, and I do appreciate that you will have to restle with the spirit of guilt, that religions inplant into us, for some time to come. But take heart you are not alone there are many of us fighting the same battle.

Answer 8

How did I deal with the loss? I felt better, I didn't have to worry about friends and relatives burning in hell.
Religion was the center of my life, but I was already going through grief so I guess I didn't mourn it when I came to senses.

I have never told my family, except my mother (who didn't take it too well, but she realizes that there is nothing she can do to change it.) and my wife (who seems uncomfortable about it when I bring home movies like "The God Who Wasn't There" but still loves me very much.)

You are not alone, there are many of us here in Yahoo answers, we are all real people.

Answer 9

we all know religion is a very powerful thing all over the world. Religion has such a strong hold on people that for me it is so hard to make a clean break from religion because it is the greatest lie ever told. the way i come to terms with religion is that we presently live in a mortal world so let's deal with life in this world on it's terms which are mortal and after we die let's deal with that when it happens on those terms

Answer 10

It was one of the most difficult times in my life, cost me family and friends, and totally changed my life and my understanding of the world, and of life. I have so much to say about it, but no time to do so here. Drop me an email via my profile (click my picture) if you're interested and I'll be happy to tell you more.

I don't think one ever stops learning, once they begin to pursue truth based on logic rather than mythology, but the losses we experience, mental, physical and spiritual, do become more bearable over time. And even after many years it is still good to talk to someone who has walked, or is walking, that same path.

Good luck to you in your journey towards the truth, and do feel free to drop me a line. We're all in this together...