Should I tell my Mom about abuse/depression I suffered as a child?

Question

I'm 30 yrd old now but at about 11-14. I went through physical abuse with kids at school.. I used to roam times square when i was 12 yrs old with a radio and sit on the sidewalk. I had no friends and was an outcast. I took the subway at midnight, etc. When i look back i am lucky i wasnt killed. At the time my father was kicked out for being verbally abusive, my mom worked 3 jobs, guess i felt lost.
I had nobody, my relatives never came to see me. I tried telling my Mom how sad and depressed i was alot back then. She just would say "oh get over it", "Stop whining",, so then i would just close up and never mention anything again.
My life turned around at age 14 when i was enrolled in a new school and was able to make friends, went on to college.
I used to tell myself those "dark days" never exsisted, but I have been thinking of it recently, and how terrible my childhood was.
Should I tell my Mom?

Answer 1

I would tell her. But then again it depends on how well you get on with her, and if she is someone who believes depression is a real thing. Some older people think that its made up and people use it to cop out on things... which is never the case.
Just bring it up casually and she will probably apologise for it, alot of parents do because they see it as being there fault eg. they might of been able to do something to stop it if they listened or payed more attention.
Good Luck with it!

Answer 2

Is this really still bothering you after all these years or are you giving it more importance than it deserves?

Your mom was doing the best she could . You said she was working three jobs. Sounds to me like she was working her butt off to make sure you had a place to live and food on the table. Do you really think she deserves to feel guilty over what other kids did to you at school ?

Don't you know that a good majority of kids have the same feelings of not belonging and having no where to turn to when they are going through puberty and the teenage years ?

All that telling your mom will do is make her feel guilty . You will still have the experiences . Will it really make you any happier to make your mom feel guilt?

Answer 3

Yes ,you should, I think she should be aware of how bad your childhood was. I didnt have a PERFECT childhood either but I talk about it. I was bullied a lot as a kid , I was about 4-5 yrs old then , It was traumatic. I tell my best friend about it and also my mom, Get it off your chest, You deserve a better future since you didnt have a good childhood. Tell your mom.
Hope this helped
gud luck

Answer 4

I don't think you should. You have over come a very difficult course in your life. You know that. And I'm pretty sure lots of your friend know that. You wanting to tell your mom mean that you are looking for a pat on the back from someone the mean a lot to you. But let me tell you. Your only pleasing your self. And that becuz no one else probably complemented you much before. THAT'S ok your better than that. Your a very strong person to be where you are today don't let little this get to you. Some time life is lonely. But remember you always have one person you can rely and trust on. That person is yourself. Congratulations on life. Remember you'll never forget what has happen, but you will never have you live it again if you learned from your mistake.

Answer 5

1-800-656-HOPE ...www.rapevictimadvocates.org
Call this number and talk to the pros.
Only you can decide what and if you should tell your mom.

1. what are you hoping to accomplish by telling mom?
2. will this help you heal?
3. will this improve your relationship with your mother?
4. Is this what you need to do to get over the past?
5. what does your therapist say?

I wish you the best of luck.

YOU are not alone.

I told my MOM> when i was 28.
She was shocked and in denial, and thought i made it all up.
So be prepared for a very defensive mother.

I would call 1-800-656-HOPE and see what they suggest!HOPE ...www.rapevictimadvocates.org

I wish you the best of luck.
What happened to us as children was our parents responsibility to fix,
What we do with our childhood pasts, as adults is our deal and issues now. YOU and only you can decide why and what you think you would hope to gain.
I'm on the fence I don't know.

IM me if you want. mystic_gift

Answer 6

mom sounds like she was trying to toughen you up...too bad, she didn't have a little more compassion, but maybe she didn't either growing up...I wouldn't bring it up anymore, your life is good, forgive those that made your life sad, and thank the good Lord, that you are here alive, and didn't get killed or raped out there...Forgive and forget, and be thankful...and go on to continued success honey, sounds like you are a strong person, and maybe that is what mom wanted all along xx

Answer 7

SOUNDS A LOT LIKE ME . I KNOW THE PAST IS PAST BUT WE JUST CAN FORGET IT HUH? SO, IN SHORT IF YOU TELL HER BY MY CALCULATIONS 16YR. LATER SHE CANT GET OVER IT B/C THE LEVITY OF THE SITUATION NEVER LET YOU "GET OVER IT" TELL AND ANY KID THAT SEE YOU THAT HURT YOU AN D IS A GROWN UP IF THEY'RE LIKE HEY i REMEMBER YOU , YOU PUT THE MEMORY ON THEM
IVE DONE THIS THE ARE MESMERIZED. IT ALMOST SYNONYMOUS WITH THE SAYING EVERYBODY MORNS IN THERE OWN WAY. WELL ABUSE IS DEALT W/ JUST LIKE THAT @ LEAST I BELIEVE. BUT DON'T LET MAKE YOUR 30'S MISERABLE ENJOY LIFE ITS OVER. I HOPE ILL PRAY FOR YOU KINDRED SOUL. MY MOM WAS THE SAME WAY YRS. LATER SHE FIGURED OUT DAMN SHE HASN'T FORGOT IT MUST OF BEEN TRAUMATIC.

Answer 8

I think that descision is up to you. There is obvouisly a reason why you are thinking about it and asking yourself this question. I think it can be good to help you to get through it again but you need to think also of your mum and how she might take it but the descision is yours. Hope whatever you decide it works out

Answer 9

For almost 16 years that this problems is kept to yourself, you will never find any peace of mind., Perhaps this time if you tell your mom about it, she will now listen to you. You need some break because if you will still keep this . time will come that your mind will just give ways and might bring you to a worst mental problems.

The soonest you do something about your problem the better. Good luck

Answer 10

Your mother, I would think, will be in her 50s. Why do you want to make her feel guilty now that she is getting older about something which happened 16 to19 years ago. You said she was doing 3 jobs which must have left her very tired. She did the best she could for you. Let sleeping dogs lie and carry on with your improved life. Telling her will not improve anything so there is nothing to be gained.