My back's against the wall...advice Please.?

Question

I'm or was in this relationship that I thought was too good to be true. But ironically it was exactly that. We were in love(yes!, real love!) or at least I thought but anyways everything was awesome from the start we clicked like that and exchanged numbers, then the 5-6 hour phone call conversations came (you know how that is) and hated when we had to hang up because as soon as we were apart we were chatting away on the phone! i was going thru alot of things, well even now i still am, and she was that "paperweight" and kept me sane and i did the same for her. we did argue from time to time but that's normal for a couple. we would make up and have great "make-up" sex. lol i'm being real though so bear with me. so one day she was showering and her cell phone was ringing. i heard it in the bedroom and checked it out. it was a blocked call so i decided to pick it up. wish i hadn't because I'm hurting so bad right now. so i said "hello" and the voice which clearly was a guy's voice.

{continued} so then he asks if johanna's there (which obviously is her name). I said "who's this?". he replies with johanna's boyfriend. I said what like i didn't hear him but i really did loud and clear. just didn't wanna believe it. anyways i started cussing this guy out and talked to him for like 10 minutes til he hanged up on me. as soon as that happened "she" comes out of the shower with a "hey babe". oh my god i wanted to strangle her then. but i didn't people, my mother taught me better than that. so asked her about this guy and told her what just happened. of course she denies it and we go at it (arguing). this happened like four weeks ago and we're basically separated and i haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. what should i do? i love her so much but i can't accept this. please any advice i need output on this but be serious please..


thank you for your time.

oh and for like the first ten that answered i didn't finish my story because didn't have enough characters. so i suggest you edit your answers.
thanks

lol to lunas yes she enjoys the "make up" sex alot. i think more than me. she's always telling me this and that like i'm "huge" in the umm below-waist area. (which i don't think) she says noone makes her moan as loud blah blah. anyways yeah similiar things had happened before like she would be on the phone laughing enjoying whoever she was talking to which was most likely that guy. then when i get in the room or where ever she's talking at she lowers her voice and tells the person she has to go. (isn't this enough evidence?!) then i would ask who was that? she would say nobody important and i would let it go because never really been that overprotective person really.

umm would everyone edit your answers because you're basing it on the first part. read everything before you answer please!!

Answer 1

First thing - don't be quick to assume that it is another love interest - it could be a brother, a dad, a good guy friend. Proceed with caution but dont' let this be where you jump in with both feet and confront her because then you'll hurt the both of you. Go on with a little more clarity in your head and see if you find anything else to raise suspicion. If so, bring it up light heartedly and see what kind of response you get from her.

Answer 2

Well, even though it was a males' voice, that doesn't mean she's cheating on you. If she's in college, it could be one of her classmates calling for help or advice on a lab or something. If she works in an office (or anywhere really), it could just be a co-worker seeing if she's going to be doing anything this weekend 'cause (he's single and doesn't know she's taken) he's got some fun event coming up and would she like to go with him. Also, attractive females tend to have many male friends. They are no more then friends, but they still call and talk just like any good girlfriend of hers would.
Another thing is, blocked numbers are usually wrong numbers. If you've got someone in your phone, their number would pop up. Now I have two friends on my phone that come up as a blocked or private number when they call from their HOME phone.
I, too, am in a similar relationship where as soon as we part we're talking on the phone. If you're still doing that, you have to consider that she doesn't really make time to talk to another guy.
And last, you say that you have "good" make-up sex. Chances are, if she thinks it's good/great sex as well, she wouldn't be looking around for someone else.
Did the guy have an accent? I get wrong number calls from guys all the time that are asking for Jose` or Mr. Martinez; these guys all had a Hispanic accent.
Has it happened before?

Well, if he said that he's her boyfriend, I'd say that 1. He could've been lying just to see who YOU were 2. he was telling the truth and very obviously doesn't know about you.
About how long has this been going on? If it just recently started (1 month ago) she could be planning something. Perhaps your birthday is coming up?? If she's constantly hanging up right away like that, it's very obvious that she's hiding something, especially if your birthday ISN’T coming up (people like to hint at a surprise party just to make you anxious). Other then planning a surprise party for you, she's got no reason for hiding who's she's talking to. In fact, a NAME should be coming out of her mouth without even having giving a second thought to it. Does she sometimes pause before she answers that question? Or say “Oh……. No one important”?
It seems to me like this other guy knows nothing about you. The next time she leaves her phone, get his number and wait until she leaves to go shopping or you are somewhere else. Call the guy and apologize for yelling, explain to him what's been going on and maybe he'll tell you some things you'd like to know.
She probly was cheating on you. Even you think you still love her, I'd say to just move on. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She'll probly do it again in the future and for her to do so in the first place means that she does not respect you(or the other guy). Not only that, if you've not spoken to her in awhile, she's already moved on. Find a girl who's really worth your time and effort and someone who will appreciate it.

Answer 3

I feel like you never finished your story. So, what happened after you answered her phone and said "hello"...? Did he hang up on you? Did you hang up on him? Maybe it was her brother or just a male friend calling? Did you ever ask her?

The trouble with relationships where two people don't establish where they stand with each other is exactly what happens in your case scenario. Secrets instead of the truth.

I wouldn't give up on this nice relationship you have been having with her, but just find out where you both want to stand with each other. Then next time you feel she is sneaking around, you will know she is not the right woman for you.

While fun and good times are great, you need to be able to trust each other and experience loyalty and trust. That's true love.

Answer 4

You will need to tell her you answered her phone and were "curious" as to who blocked their number.

That's what really happened wasn't it?
So, if you have this wonderful relationship, you know you may have screwed it up, right?

Hey, it could have been a bill collector for all you know. How long have you been dating? Being a woman, and single I have to tell you I've had past ex-boyfriends from 5 years ago, call me.
Their name is "of course" not in my cell phone, so those numbers haven't shown up.

I've spoken to a few for a short time and all they said was they were thinking of me of wondering how I was doing. If they were calling to see if they could "jump back into a relationship", I quickly took care of that and nicely AND I'm not even in a relationship right now.

so, why are you so quick to end this relationship or are you the very jealous type and already pre-judged her?
Don't assume, you know what that means?????

Good luck 2 u....

Answer 5

Dude it could of been a wrong number for all you know. Secondly the best way to push her away is to get all bent out of shape over a phone call. Thirdly half the population are guys so a lot of guys will call. Get over it and don't set yourself up for failure.

Answer 6

Before you start assuming talk to her. Girls are allowed friends too. I know that this is a hard thing to do, but maybe just maybe it was a wrong number, or it was simply a friend. Just ask her in a calm fashion. NO ACCUSING!! this will only make things worse. Hear her out, and really listen to what she has to say.

Answer 7

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Girls have guy friends just like guys have girl friends ya know? You should confront her about it. And see how she reacts. If she gets overly defensive then she might be messin around on you. I'd hang in there though, and wait for some REAL proof. Otherwise you might let go of a good thing.

Answer 8

and..... You just stopped at that a guys voice... Could it be a co worker from work, calling her. Could it be someone at the gym if she goes to one regarding a sign up sheet for an appointment that can't be kept. .A dentist rescheduling .. you get the picture could be lots of things .Unless there was more your not telling us.

Answer 9

Dont' jump to conclusions. If the call is blocked, it may be because she wouldn't have picked up the phone if she knew who it was. Could be a co-worker or anything. Did you ask who it was? Let it go, but keep your eyes open.

Answer 10

Hey, she had a prior history, and other people have her number... this could be some guy from years ago touching base for all you know. It doesn't necessarily mean that this is a current thing.