I am so extremely depressed. I am 21, I went to school to become a paralegal but cant find a job, despite numerous interviews, I am overweight..but I wasnt always this way. The man I love doesnt love me back and actually asked me for one of my other friends phone number( this literally crushed me) We're not in a relationship and he just comes around when he wants oral sex. I dont have any money and creditors are calling everyday all day long! My hair is thining and breaking off, I dont really have any hope for the future. Im so afraid of ending up like my mother and aunt, with an unfufilled life. Its like I CANT CATCH A BREAK! i just want to be forgiven for my sins and move on,...but GOD is not making it easy. I thought he loved me...but sometimes i dont think he does. I struggle to stay on this earth every day in hopes of it getting better one day.
2007-09-21 16:38:13 · 53 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This guy has been in my life 7 yrs and I've never got what I wanted from him, for him just to love me. Since I gained weight he acts so funny towards me, Im the same person...but all he wants is model chicks and things like that. which is what I used to be not with the weight gain. I just dont know what to do. Im so scarred, hurt, sad, and confused. I still love him.
2007-09-21 16:40:30 · update #1
2beautiful4wordz- whoever you are, you are a unique and beautiful creation; someone who is special and no one is just like you. The problem is, you don't see this. Because you don't see your own inner beauty, your uniqueness, your divine spark, you are letting someone take advantage of you. You feel like crap because you let him do that. Even if you don't believe it, tell yourself, "I am too wonderful to let anyone take advantage of me." When you focus on the magnificent creation that you are, you will not let this guy or anyone else use you. You will feel too special to do that. Once you start believing in yourself, those feelings of worthlessness will leave you.
Although this all seems to be happening on the outside, it isn't. It is you believing you are worthless and unlovable. Your weight gain is probably just an reflection of those feelings. You have to stop looking at the outside for now; see the beauty from within you and the outside will eventually reflect that.
How can I tell you this? Because I once felt like you do.
I removed the negative thoughts, especially about myself. I started seeing myself as the wonderful creation I am, and over time, I found myself again. I had thoughts like yours, to end it all, but they are a distant memory now.
I know that when you see the real you, when you realize that you are the one and only you, something special on this planet, you will heal yourself too.
Get some help if you can. Local mental heatlh facilities in your town require a payment based on your income, and they won't turn you away with the thougths you are having.
All the best to you. YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH. Remember that.
edit: you added that even though your boyfriend treats you differently because of your weight, even mistreating you and you say that you still love him.
I want to tell you that what you are feeling is not love. You cannot love another person if you do not love yourself first. If you love someone, would you let your boyfriend treat her the way he is treating you? Well, you are that someone.
Love yourself, and don't let anyone mistreat you.
2007-09-22 01:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by NRPeace 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1-800-SUICIDE
Call this number for help! Right now!
You may not think this but you are very lucky. There are many many people in the world who are much more worse off than you are! Have you seen any of the wounded vets returning from the war? I saw on the news a kid who was 19 years old and he had BOTH of his arms blown off in Iraq!!! Listen, just try to focus on the good parts of your life. You have to stay positive about everything, life is hard. If you suicide God would probably be very unpleased with you. So what if you are a little overweight, there is a great book called "Body for Life" by Bill Phillips. This book will get anybody in shape, check it out. That guy who you love, he does not sound like he is worthy of you admiration! Forget about him, he sounds like a shallow person who only cares about looks! You have an education, paralegals make good money. Go to a job resource guide in your city, they will help find work for you. In the mean time just take a crap job to make ends meet. If you give up on yourself then the world will miss out on your beauties. Don't give up and call that number I gave you! Right now!!!
I hope you feel better! Good luck and you can talk with me if you need someone to hear you out as well.
2007-09-21 17:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Speak freely 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would not be going thru this if God thought you couldnt make it. You have the strength to make this life great. Some times we go thru bad things because we made bad choices. We have free will. If a person does not love you, you cant make them love you. You can find someone who will. You are the one who is making it hard, not God. You have been with a man for a long time that has helped you loose your self-confidence. Move on. Maybe you should have a job that is not exactly what you thought it should be. That doesnt make you a looser. If you finished school, you are smart and will figure out what you want to do. Then Just Go Do it. Its your life, not your moms, or aunts or a friends. Take control, ask God for the wisdom you need, and make your life the way you want it to be.
Maybe you could go talk to someone, like a Pastor or councelor. They can help you figure all this out. Have you been born again? That may be what you need, a Pastor can help you get there. Trust in God.
2007-09-21 16:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by T I 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God does love you and the only one to stop hurting if you commit suicide is you. I am sure there are people who care about you and those you leave behind will be hurting for a long time. Your gut he is a jerk. As for the paralegal thing I at 52 am in school to get my degree and certificate in the same field. There are many things you can do with the degree but you have to seek some help for the depression because I am sure during interviews it shows. As for getting a job trial a legal temporary service for awhile. Any one who does not have experience has a very hard time catching on with a firm. Do look into the temp service and do go get some help. there are plenty of free mental health clinics and it seems at least for now you need some medication.It does get better but you have to help the process. God forgives all sins but suicide will not get you to heaven.
2007-09-21 16:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by debbie f 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when we're depressed it can help some to act as if we're not -- go do something we like, go for a walk or bike ride, literally "pretend" we're not depressed. It can make a surprising amount of difference in how we feel. And just seeing SOME difference, we can see that we don't always feel the same, even though it can seem like it.
Take care of the basics. Try to get some regular physical activity. Try to eat a balanced diet. Try to get regular sleep.
Talk to someone. A friend. A church leader. A phone counselor hotline. See a therapist, and if you don't have money for it, see if there are sliding scale services or university training clinics.
Depression can and does literally change our body's chemistry, it really really feels bad. But most people who want to commit suicide and don't are SO glad they didn't within a few months time. They literally see a different world.
You're in what sounds like a really painful pattern of things. Find ways to change even little things about the pattern of your life.
.
2007-09-21 16:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by bodhidave 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you that can't be made better. You really should seek professional psychological assistance. You're not thinking rationally and you have a low self esteem. Both of these problems can be treated. Think how great it would feel if you overcame this depression and were able to one day help another person who is going through what you are going through right now. Some of the best people in the world had to be where you are at now in order to accomplish great things in the future. Be strong. Don't give up. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Everybody should try it at least once. Life can be hard for us all. Best of luck. =)
2007-09-21 16:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I most definitely think that if the thought of following through with suicide is on your mind, you need professional help. Alot of people think about doing it at one point or another for a variety of reasons. If you are a Christian, then seek the elder of your Church for advice, whether that be a Priest, Pastor, whatever. As far as the guy is concerned, he obviously doesn't appreciate or value you. That doesn't mean jack-s#@%. Don't open your mouth and allow yourself to be violated. You do not need a man to be a worthwhile person. Everybody gets in debt, it took me seven years to pay off my student-loans, and I was a single mother with 3 sons. Debt is not worth dying over. Happiness is a conscious decision. If you are unhappy with your weight, then try to lose it. Don't change yourself, if the only reason you are bothered by your weight is because some guy isn't interested in you. It does get better, but it involves YOU making it better for YOURSELF. Hope that helps. I once had to have someone else tell me the same thing.
2007-09-21 16:54:55 · answer #7 · answered by Belisama 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO!!!!
Suicide is out of the question. Maybe since God is making things hard for you, consider becoming closer to God. Forget for the time being about this guy you want to love you and feel comfort that God already does love you. Cut out on the oral sex. And if your weight bothers you. . . try to change that in a healthy way. Eat a healthy diet, and incorporate regular excercise. I would suggest not seeing your friend for awhile, unless he wants to help you to find your healthy lifestyle. . . . Once you can work your way into a healthier lifestyle, your depression will probably ease up. A healthy body often leads to a healthier mind. And when you feel happy, those negative thoughts don't seem to come around anymore . . . or at least not as often.
I'll keep you in my prayers, I have faith that if you keep your faith, things will work out for the best.
2007-09-21 16:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by Iceman 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course, not. If you committ suicide, the other side is not better at all. Many people think that ending one's life now is the best remedy to solve the current situation. But if you know more details about the dynamics of life, you will know that you will be sent back to this life again to finish off what you started. In other words, you're going back to the same situation, and even worse.
So, my suggestion is this -- change your way of thinking and find a better attitude. Find strength and challenge yourself to see this through. Just think -- you are not the first person to go thru what you are going thru.. and they all made it and survived it.
What story will they say about you ? that you quit life ? What a loser then. So, brave it up, and change that things you don't like about your experience. You have the power. You have the options.
If you need to talk to someone, please email me at:
grlwithguitar@cox.net
or call 911 if you just need someone to talk to.
Take care. You are not alone. You can do another day. One day at a time, my friend.
2007-09-21 16:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Maria V 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to end your life because some idiot, shallow, jerkoff don't care about you. End it, stop seeing him and start respecting yourself for once! I don't understand why people stay in emotionally abusive relationships, that progressively dig into you and eat away your spirit and soul. First of all do something you enjoy and start building some self esteem. Go to see counsellors, friends and people who care about you. You are 21, you have alot of time to look for jobs that suits you, and if you really can't find it after at least one year then try to go back to school. Don't be afraid of student loans, a Master will go a long way. Don't talk like you are at the end of your life, most people live till 80, so you have at least 60 years to find things that will make you happy. If you end your life now, then you would have truly led an unfulfilled life, and it's the worst kind of unfulfilled life there is, you didn't even try to fulfill it!
2007-09-21 16:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋