Ok, so this is a touchy subject for and hard to talk about. I feel like I am losing my faith, and I really REALLY don't want that. I have been trying to have kids for 5 years, and I have been told I am not likely to do so. I love children, and I cannot afford to adopt one. I want to have my own so badly. I try so hard to do the right thing, but I feel like I am always messing up. God has been there for me so many times before, but maybe I did something wrong to not be able to have children. I know that I shouldn't feel that way because there are a lot of people out there like me who have fertility problems. The major problem is that I am the ONLY one that I know of in my whole family that has fertility problems, and I have found myself blaming God for that, even though I know I shouldn't. How can I get my faith back? I pray every night, and I am constantly apologizing for the way that I feel. I just don't know what to do.
2007-09-21 14:57:18 · 13 answers · asked by vicky l 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am so sorry! I can relate. I tried for 2 years. I can't imagine 5. A couple of things come to mind:
1. This is not a punishment. For whatever reason it is your cross to bare.
2. Maybe you should stop killing yourself over this. You could actually be stressing yourself into infertility. I have 2 friends who conceived within 6 months of adopting.
3. Maybe you should be praying for acceptance, not for carrying a child. I don't mean to make you upset, but moving on, well you may find peace.
4. A male friend of mine adopted through his county's foster care program. It was awesome. He got his son at 18 months and now he is 8 yrs old.
I am so sorry again. For a woman, this is especially painful.
Your in my prayers!
2007-09-21 15:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by LDS Mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry that you cannot get pregnant. I am sure part of you is grieving constantly. And it doesn't help to see everyone else getting pregnant. It is ok to protect yourself and not want to hang around these people all the time. This has nothing to do with something you did. God does not work that way, and he has not deserted you.
Have you considered fostering to adopt? It is free, but the catch is most of the kids will go back to the parent or family. If the parental rights are terminated, and no other family comes forward, you can adopt them. There are also older children up for straight adoption, and usually the state pays you subsidies. http://photolisting.adoption.com/
Or you can put the word out that you are looking to adopt, so if anyone knows anyone, perhaps you can meet them and it would only cost you lawyer fees. Also check out maternity advocacy centers which are usually supported partially by charity. They can usually work with people financially.
Trust me, you are not the first person in this situation, and you will not be the last. I wish you the best!
2007-09-21 22:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by allforone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm SO sorry for you dear. I wanted a baby for years before having one and I understand what you feel, at least partly.
God also feels sorrow for you. And I don't pretend to know why he does not allow you to conceive. I've questioned God when I've suffered my pain with a special needs child-asking why oh Why God does my child have to suffer so. I am a different person because of this pain.
Now I'm just asking this; could it be this pain you are suffering is shaping you for some reason (not punishment but changing you for eternity)? Or, could it be you will adopt a child in need?
I really don't know but I do know that God is real and he is there WITH us in our pain. "Faith come by hearing the word of God" So if you want increased faith read the bible.
God bless you,
†
2007-09-21 22:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jeanmarie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Vicky, I understand where you are coming from. I am so sorry that you have not been able to conceive; however, every perfect thing, is done in God's timing! Not ours.
Keep praying, and I will join you in your prayers. Also, have you tried to see an endocrinologist? I go to one with my thyroid problems and he has helped many coupples to get pregnant. He is one fine Christian man and aches for those who desire a child and cannot for some reason. I do not know where you are located but, I can tell you that this may be of great help!
I will pray for you both and for God to lead you to the right person who can help. If, not, then we simply will ask God that He bless you with a child, in His timing and will.
2007-09-25 18:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my dear... you sound exactly like my niece!!!
She has been helped a lot by the ccounseling of her pastor. If you do not have a church, please find one you feel comfortable with and contact the minister as soon as possible.
Don't feel sorry about the way you feel. Lord knows, HE knows how many people have blamed Him for some terrible things, but God truly understands what you are going through, and He is there to help you. But you will need the help of your minister, and he/she will guide you to back to your faith. Remember, God loves you, no matter how terrible you are feeling! I will pray for you! God bless!
Have a blessed day!
2007-09-21 23:07:37 · answer #5 · answered by wyomugs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person can choose to have or not have faith in something. From your question, it looks more like you have lost a feeling of trust, but this is an emotional response to trust, not trust itself. The only way to lose your faith is to choose not to have faith. There will be times when the feelings associated with faith will be absent, but faith itself is a decision. The Book of Job in the Holy Bible is a classic example of a person choosing to keep faith, even though they are suffering. So, choose to have faith, and keep praying; know that there is something more important than anything of this earthly life.
2007-09-21 22:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by MJQ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never give up on God. The Dr. said I would never have children, but God proved him wrong. My husband and I tried to have a baby for 7 years before we had our daughter. It wasn't until we truly
believed God for a miracle, and we prayed together, on new years eve 1990. I know for sure that was when God made our miracle. Guess what her name is? Faith. She is exactly what I prayed for. I give GOD, all the Glory & Honor & Praise.
God Bless You & Trust In HIM.
2007-09-25 18:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by Brilliant 1forHIM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God says....."Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33. The verse before it says that God knows what things we need. He does want you to ask Him for things but also to ask that His will be done and in His timing. It is so hard to wait for that sometimes.....but if you have done everything you can...then either He wants you to think of other options or just wait. I saw one answer on here that I have heard SO many times...about stressing over it making it worse. I don't know how many stories I have heard about adoptions and then someone getting pregnant. I am going to add my prayers to yours....that if it will bring God honor...that He will let you have a baby. I will also pray for your happiness and peace of mind no matter what His answer is.
† On-call Prayer Warrior †
2007-09-22 20:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by bethy4jesus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of what your religion has taught you, the fact that you are unable to have kids has absolutely nothing to do with sins or divine judgement or God's will. There is a medical reason for your infertility, that's all there is to it. It's unfortunate, but it's no different than having diabetes or getting cancer. Nobody caused it, it's nobody's fault, and that sort of thing just happens to some people. That's life. But if you cannot afford to adopt a child, then you cannot afford to raise ANY child. Having children is a privilege, not a right. Don't take the responsibiity for raising another life until you get your own in order.
2007-09-21 22:45:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry for not saying this earlier. I didn't mean to come across as harsh. I can sympathize with you and hope find comfort and contentment during this trying time of your life. That being said, will you only serve and follow Jesus if He gives you what you want, or will you determine in your own heart and mind that with or without a child, you will serve and follow Him? Is Jesus LORD of your life? If your answer is yes, Jesus is LORD, than by all means, trust in him to work all things together for good for those who love the LORD, for those who are called according to His plan and purpose. Trust the LORD, He loves you. His plan and thoughts toward you are good.
2007-09-21 22:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by ndur2thend 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋