My 14 year old daughter has ran away several times, each times she gets in trouble either at school or she's cought lying.I have done my best the last few months to communicate with her and spend time together.The last time she was gone for 4 days with an older guy she met I took proper legal action.Now she was cought by a sherriff with an 18 yr old ditching school they called me let me know and they took her back to school, well I waited and waited and she never came out sneaked out probably.She called said she's ok but refused to meet me somewhere.What do I do she wants to have me worried sick so I'll forget what she did and thats exactly what's happening.I sneaked into her blog and she seems promiscuos.I thought of adding myself by making a fake profile.Please give me some advice. I dont understand whats her thing with older guys she knows they will end up in prison.
2007-09-21 14:45:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This year she got involved with a 26 yr old guy he asked her to marry her she ran away for days until the police found them, they were keeping in touh but I had informed the DA where he would probably write to her, and I was accurate.I found out he was deported the 13 th of this month she had no idea.So I think she was going to meet up with him.
2007-09-21 15:57:49 · update #1
I am a 14 year old girl, she sounds like she is really troubled... You just need to be there for her, she needs someone to help her. She may say that she doesn't but she does. She might also just be wanting attention. The one thing you SHOULD NOT do is make a fake blog, or snoop in her blog. if you don't want her to have a blog tell her that its for some other reason, because she will hate the fact that you looked at it. The older guys thing, is because she wants to grow up too fast, sit her down, talk to her but don't try to be all buddy buddy with her, she needs a mom, not a best friend. Tell her that you just want to protect her because she is the most important thing to you in the world, and that you would do anything for her, and you hate to see her run away because it scares you to death.
She is a very lucky girl to have you as a mom, don't give up hope with her, things will get better. I really hope that i've helped you:)
2007-09-21 19:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by serendipity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent I understand what you are going through, I am a mother of 5. I have twin 16 year olds that reside with their uncle because they too thought that they were old enough to do whatever they wanted to do. I did not matter what I tried nothing worked until I filled an incorrigibility petition against them. This is done through you local department of health and human resources. They will assign your child a worker who will send someone out to your home and talk to your child. In my case it ended that when we went to court the judge saw that it was in the best interest of my twins to stay with my brother. My twins had made threats to my younger children gotten in trouble at school and gotten into trouble with the law. Some times you have to play the tough love game. It is not east to deal with it has been over a year since my boys left and I still have a hard time, But since they have moved in with my brother they are doing good in school and they both have jobs they are becoming independent people instead of depending on me to do everything for them. Check with your local department and see if they have a program that you can get your child into. Some counseling would be helpful to the both of you.
I really wish you the best of Luck and May God Bless You
2007-09-21 17:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by honeybeeinwv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I can't believe how judgmental some people are! This mother obviously really cares about her daughter...so much that it's making her sick, and you blame her for the actions of another person! Kids have free will too! My sister ran away at 14, my brother at 15, and I turned out fine, stayed at home till age of 18. My mom and dad were awesome parents, and didn't do anything different with the other two that she did with me.
Mom, no matter what anyone says, this is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Your daughter will do what she wants, just like my sister did. All you can do is love her and wait for her to change her mind and come to her senses, like my sister eventually did. And it sounds like you're doing that.
Please hang in there.
If you need to talk, you can email me.
2007-09-21 17:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by Nanook of the North-Canadian Gal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going Thu, my daughter left when she was 16, At 14 you still are the MOM and she has to go to school. Get her in counseling while you can. If she gets in the court system ask the judge to order her to finish school, keep her grades up, do drug tests etc. When you can't control her anymore the judge can. Tough Love is not easy. Keep praying for her and get counseling yourself. The kids now days think that they are in charge (parents have not been allowed to be parents and it shows) keep a journal of everything to protect yourself and keep the police involved when she runs away. Stand firm for her safety. Way to many crazy people looking for girls like her. Praying for her and you. deb
2007-09-21 15:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by wds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fist thing you need to do is file her as a missing person, with her being a minor they will look all over for her. They did for me when I was 16 and ran away with a older guy. When they get her you need to talk to the police about making her spend a night in jail to see what its like. I went to jail when I got caught. I straightened up my life.
Good luck, I mean it
2007-09-21 14:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by luvmyslipknot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i'm going to ask this and i don't expect you to answer this right away. infact if you immediatly answer NO, then you are obviously close minded about the subject so try try try to be open minded. let go of the fear and just LISTEN!!! to to your heart, your head and then HER. because she'll say no too. she'll say it over and over and over. it's your job to "read" her, "read" her body, her language, her behavior. if you can't then get her to a therapist. so here's the question....
has she been sexually abused as a toddler and may not remember but is having bizarre dreams about it. perhaps your memories are coming back. or perhaps she was abused as an older child or even recently?
like i said, DO NOT ANSWER THIS RIGHT NOW!! all parents think they know but hun no young girl would act out like this if she was being raised by open, honest loving parents unless 1. they AREN'T open, honest loving parents or 2. she's a victim of sexual or physical or emotional abuse and she's crying out for help.
i was a habitual runaway. from age 10 -17. at age 18 my cousin came out and informed her mother what our uncle did to us. so i had no choice but to admit it. i never ever once told my parents or a counselor. i just was a promiscuous, angry, rebellious runaway, crying out for some help! help i didnt even know i needed. so please figure it out. and get her help. even if you strongly believe she's never been abused. it wouldnt hurt to take her to a counslor ... once you find her of course.
good luck!
lissette, mom of four gorgeous kiddos!
2007-09-21 15:21:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu seem more interested in bringing her home and changing her behavior rather than the CAUSE of that behavior. Before you can help her, y ou have to understand the underlying provocation which is driving her to this destructive acts. But, you need to hear it from her, not guess at it. ANd you need to hear it and not be judgemental.
Perhaps you should suggest meeting at a therapist's office where the two of you can air your concerns and LISTEN TO EACH OTHER.
2007-09-21 14:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Name the police and go to your nearby juvenile court. File a little one in need of offerings petition (known as a CHINS). Who knows what she is doing and what would happen to her. After you go to court and do this... The police will to find her and possibly convey her house, or seek replacement placement unless the courtroom date. Youngster services will undoubtedly get concerned, or that you may request their offerings. In my state they have a particular CHINS unit that deals handiest with children whom have CHINS. They are able to present alot more offerings than the courts can anyhow.
2016-08-04 17:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the police and pass on your community juvenile court docket. document a baby in choose of amenities petition (talked approximately as a CHINS). Who is attentive to what she is doing and what ought to ensue to her. once you pass to court docket and do this... the police will locate her and probable deliver her domicile, or seek for decision placement till the court docket date. baby amenities will maximum probable get in touch, or you are able to request their amenities. In my state they have a particular CHINS unit that bargains basically with babies whom have CHINS. they might grant alot greater amenities than the courts can in any case.
2016-10-05 03:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by herbin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her away to boot camp, that should straighten her out. You can always call the maury povich show to.
2007-09-21 15:46:17 · answer #10 · answered by Reality Has A Libertarian Bias 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋