Oh papa!
Stern face, a smooth countenance of heavy responsibilities
That medical smell whiffing of hospital scent as he comes home
Glancing at us, he walks to the kitchen
… …. Embracing mom and a kiss on cheek
Leaving life too soon, daddy cried very hard for a woman he loved
But dead corpse speak not, just those eyes shut peacefully
He was a quiet man, sober and seemingly deep in thought
Brought home a gal one day,
“What you think of her?”
Smiling at last, he looked at us expectantly
Kids grew up, moved out
We met again one day, back in the old house
By the backyard his eyes were serious and contemplating
Hearing of hardships and illness
“I never wanted you … … was mommy’s idea”
They struck me like arrows, on a sweaty November night
Walked away, saw a family united
Except that it was no longer mine.
2007-09-21 14:19:06 · 13 answers · asked by thinkpp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't like the "corpse" part. I think it is harsh , where if you phrased it differently, you could come up with another way to get your point across. corpse, makes one think of rotting death. doesn't go with your poem. It is emotional, but really choppy and fitting alot into a little space, sort of hard to get. maybe instead of corpse etc... say something like " but in death, she speaks not"
Also I think maybe you should gointo why this woman he brought home was so hard for you, what about it, did you not like her, was it hard for you to accept another female roll model, did you feel like she was taking time away from you, go maybe into that a touch.
Hun. I don't know if you are a teenager and hurting, but my mom died whe n I was 4, and I had issues with my dads gf later. but now later in life, he was human, and didn't have all the answers, he hurt to and he missed her and NEVER got over it, but I wanted him to find happiness, even if it was hard for me. I forgave him, and thought also of how he hurt and how hard it is for a father to rais girls, he tried, and along the way he said cruel things similar to what your poem says, I was my moms idea. Either way, true or not, he always loved me, and now that I have kids, I have to tell you, mine were my idea, and it NEVER ment that their dad didn't want them, but I wanted to have kids and approached him and he wanted what I wanted to make me happy. Men are men and not all of them have that maternal longing to one day say, hey lets get pregnant. Thats more a women.
Don't waste precious life hurting and spiteful. Talk to him, and forgive and let him into your life. I love my dad, but he made so many mistakes, and now later it is those mistakes that I know he cared, and he tried, and he is human, and it's HARD, trust me raising kids is hard, hard hard, and the most rewarding and most painful thing also.
2007-09-21 14:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So sad. But that is life. Let go of him. Love him as a father.He is just human. Your father might not have wanted your mother to be pregnant with you at that time but they surely must have valid reasons as financial or that your mother is already sickly that pregnancy might shorten her life. Why did you not ask why?Ok. he made a lapse in judgement, he should not have said that he never wanted you. Forgive him and still consider him as part of your family or you will bear this load as long as you live. Nobody is perfect. Love begets love. Do not live in the past. Be happy both of you.
2007-09-21 14:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by Bamboo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're so proficient. i be attentive to i've got stated that before. this may be a deep significant poem, it particularly is a various type than you utilize now notwithstanding it is so sturdy to me. Drown my soul in wash of sorrow. build my doubts and pass away me hallow. you be attentive to i'm prepared on you. I choose i ought to open up the type you do.
2016-10-05 03:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by herbin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our parents wants to spare us their fear, their sorrow. At least some of them.
Every child is being born to become independent from his/hers parents and go for his own life.
Just don't feel sad. Life is hard but beautiful as well.
2007-09-21 14:27:23 · answer #4 · answered by Expat Froggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very powerful! Hopefully the expression of all the pain and suffering will allow you to recover from the pain.
Very good.
2007-09-21 14:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has potential but it's a bit over the top so much that it makes a person feel drunk LOL
2007-09-21 14:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deep.
2007-09-21 14:22:23 · answer #7 · answered by how funky is your chicken? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just threw up in my mouth. Oh papa?
2007-09-21 14:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Adam B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your creation and it is yours to judge but I think it is very interesting.
2007-09-21 14:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good
2007-09-21 14:22:05 · answer #10 · answered by dollcrew44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋