Ok , first off, im in my mid 20's. To make a long story short, my mom always favors my bro who is 23 now. She is always up my *** telling me how to live my life and because my brother is " a man" she leaves him alone (hot headed italian parents i have). I have lost relationships because of my parents overcontrolling ways. I have a wonderful bf that i love and the rest of my family accepts him but my own parents. (he didnt do anything wrong) and i have had to cut friends out of my life just to please my mom as she didnt like them ( i dont do this now, i keep my friends)
Well becuase my bro just broke up with his gf (my mom has been wanting that by the way) he already likes a new girl, she came over the house and right away my mom tells me to go out with them to have drinks at a bar, i refused as im exhausted from work and just dont feel like being with them. My bro never invites me out and why should i go out to please my mom and bro when i get no support? anyone else have this?
2007-09-21 14:07:48 · 6 answers · asked by hersheybar99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are Italian. I am Italian. This is how Italian people are. Control and maintaining appearances are important. My husband is Italian as well and his family is the same way. I have a 40 y/o brother-in-law who lives at home and my MIL cooks and cleans for him. My brother is 24 and lives at home. I have no answers for you because now my daughter is almost 17 and I can see why we are such a bunch of control freaks with our kids and families.
So many people are envious of Italians; they have no idea how hard it is.
2007-09-21 14:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out of the house as soon as you can. Date whomever you want. Lead your own life!
This is about establishing boundaries.
Your brother didn't want you tagging along as mother's little spy.
You mom will control your lives as much as she can, and she will the the 3rd wheel in your marriages if you let her. Leave your parents out of your love life.
Listen... you need to get a little something down. There are FRIENDS and there are ACQUAINTANCES... even within family groups.
Acquaintances only call you when they want something... bring a present to a birthday party, or come when they call. These people are "users" at best. They typically don't care about you or anything going on in your life. You always wonder where you stand with these people until you put 2 + 2 together.
Friends are different. They are there for you, usually share common interests, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on, and want the best for you.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with. That alone will make your life better.
2007-09-21 19:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I feel as if my parents favore my younger brother over me. Like, when I do something wrong I get yelled at, and bad, but when my brother does something wrong, he gets yelled at, but only for a while and then my parents baby him. It is totally unfair, but when I bring it up, I just get in more trouble.
2007-09-21 14:15:00 · answer #3 · answered by Sammi♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could fix this. You're in your mid 20's, get out of your mother's house and get a place of your ownd. That way you won't be there for her to tell you what to do.
If you're in your parents house, then live by their rules/wishes.
2007-09-21 14:19:35 · answer #4 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like mom is trying to keep tabs on him too by sending you out with them, but probably because she wants to know what's going on . with you she seems to want to CONTROL what's going on. You should confront her & tell her how you feel . Sounds like she doesn't have confidence in how she raised you & if she did she wouldn't question your decisions.Tell her that & good luck w/ everything!!!
2007-09-21 14:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by flossymae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think u should go out and enjoy ur life too.. not necessarily with ur brod... maybe with ur friends... this can take a lot of tension from work and home... so ease up... go out there and unwind...
2007-09-21 14:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by zykoe1208 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋