Serious question... atheists, only please?

Question

I just found out that my grandmother is dying and only a (scientific) miracle could make her better from her cancer. Last person in my family to die, did so unexpectably (to me anyway) and I wasn't *too* close to him. And before him was my grandfather when I was 4.

Last time I saw my grandmother was very sweet - she held my hand the entire time and I helped her with some poetry.

My mother just told me the news by phone (I'm in college) and I'm not sure what to do or how to feel or anything - I can't stop crying. I can't visit my family soon for a couple days, and my grandmother *could* die before I see her. And anyway, if she never gets better I can never see her because they're keeping her sleeping so she isn't in pain... :(

Seeing as how I know Heaven/Afterlife to not exist, I was wondering how other atheists deal when a close family member dies or is possibly going to die.

I live about an hour away - but I have no car and no family member can drive me home for the next couple days.

Ghost Wolf, my mother says it's best I just remember the last time I saw her than come home and see her as she is now.

elaine30705, I'm GLAD and know there is no afterlife. Imagine being conscious for all eternity and never being able to rest. I know that when she dies she'll have an eternal 'slumber' instead and that's fine with me. It's the thought of it being so soon that bothers me.

Elioralmmanuel, one doesn't need 'Christ' to have peace. In fact, belief in a man who probably didn't exist just complicates things. Life is complicated enough.

Answer 1

My mother died of cancer in April. We gathered around her the whole day...the day she died. We were there for her and for each other and we remained there for each other afterward. Lots of love, lots of tears, lots of remembering of the good times. (((hug))) to you. Take comfort in your loved ones. I hope you make it to see her before she goes.

@>}----}----

AD

Answer 2

I assume that atheists are like anybody else when they lose a loved one. I hope you can make it but if she is not conscious much of the time call her and remind her that you are thinking about her and will come soon to see her.

Christians will ply you with dogma, you may happily ignore such drivel. Remember her, the love, the good times and remind her if you get the chance.

Most important, do not indulge in guilt if you cannot make it before she dies. You want to be there and will be there if you can. If you cannot make it, that is a physical thing; leave it at that.

I wish I had a workable way to deal with the loss of a loved one. You suffer but remember, when she is gone, you and others who miss her are now the only ones suffering. Do not indulge in a selfish grief, remember her fondly, instead.

Answer 3

My father died 3 years ago, and it was awful. But I have my memories, pictures even some vids. I spent the last hours of his life with my sister, sneaking in beer for him and finally a cigar. It was terribly sad, but also as good a way to go as any for him.

Imagining him not dead but somehow flying around the sky, would not have made anything any easier.

Just say goodbye in the best way you can. Do not dwell on your inability to be there. Good luck.

Answer 4

Buddhism has been very comforting... I am not a buddhist but they teach things that ease the pain of losing a person who seems to have left you

I read the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

it takes the fear of death away...most christians have issues with this, as it's a main conversion tool

Answer 5

First, please accept my sympathy.

I flew home last January but arrived too late to be present at my mother's death. (It's just as well, I think; I'm told it was very painful toward the end.) My family was surrounded by wonderful friends and neighbors for the next few difficult days. We cried and laughed and reminisced.

I expected nothing less, and I think it would be silly to expect more from some invisible guy-in-the-sky.

Answer 6

No atheist is attentive to how the universe grew to become into created. the assumption of the great bang at the instant suits what we do be attentive to notwithstanding with regard to the increasing universe. Now the assumption of the great bang grew to become into initially reported by utilising a catholic priest so this isn't in conflict with faith consistent with SE. the issue with your fact that each little thing demands some thing to create it particularly is which you do no longer probable be attentive to that the two you basically have self belief it with the information you think of you have in front of you. the thought god existed devoid of author ought to provide you some theory how we are able to have self belief that remember exists ahead of existence as all of us be attentive to and can have actually continuously. the great bang might have befell billions of situations gotten smaller and befell lower back in accordance to a pair theories. The invisible hand of god is used as a default right here, by utilising asserting because of the fact that we do no totally understand the creation of the universe than it would desire to be attributed to an invisible being. nicely the early cultures did no longer understand the solar and that they attributed it to a fiery chariot pushed by utilising a god. same premise in my techniques because of the fact i won't conceive of a few thing at this point does not make it impossible, yet i do no longer might desire to motel to the default place of attributing it to a god.

Answer 7

just like any other person but without god.

You have to accept shes dying. i know how hard it is, i lost my grandmother when i was 10 so i can relate, she died of cancer as well. The one mistake i did was i didnt get help. i didnt have support i handled it on my own, that was a mistake, you have to get support from your family, handle it with them together.

Be open, dont bottle it up.

Answer 8

"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds, it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at that inevitable return to our prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred."

~ Richard Dawkins

Answer 9

get off the computer and hop a plain to where ever she is. There's no time to lose!

Everyone handles grief differently. Personally, I would like to remember the deceased on a plesant note than on a mournful one.

Answer 10

I'm sorry that your grandmother is dying, but I'm even sadder to think that she may die without Christ and that you don't have a faith in Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If you did, you would know peace.