What do you do with a child who keeps having nightmares ...?

Question

My middle grandson has been having them lately and it is not just because he is staying here and out of his own bed because they were all happy here before (they share their Father and uncles' old bedroom and they love it - the younger two share at home and the eldest has his own bedroom and *there* they could all have a room each which I do not think is for the best).
Anyhow my worry is over the nightmares - should I ask my son to take him to the doctors? - my boys had nightmares from time to time but J. seems to be having them regularly and I worry that something is wrong.

Well Randy D I do control their diet when they're here but I can't vouch for what happens at home - no problem for the last few hours - they are all sleeping soundly - but I can't get off myself now!

The "dreamcatcher" idea seems great,Willow (and others) - I shall look into it and suggest it to my son for when the boys are at home too.

Answer 1

I would try talking to him also his other brother might be scaring him telling him stories as I know mine are terrible for doing that with their younger brother also don't let him watch anything on telly which I'm sure you wouldn't but you never know what he's watching else where read him a nice bedtime story and make it so everythings nice before he goes to bed.

Answer 2

Nightmares are always based on something that bothers the child. It is best to talk them over with the child, often you can see what is the reason, if not, a doctor should be able to help.

A dreamcatcher is a god idea, when the child believes it helps, it will help.

Some dreams are built up like real stories or happenings. Specially when a dream is recurring, the child can all alone think of different endings and influence the dream. I remember I did that, and it worked quite often. Sceme: I would open a door, and the monster would come. So I did not open the door, just sat down and the dream was over without the monster. I don't think one needs to be specially gifted for that, but if so it can also be trained.

Answer 3

Are they simply nightmares, or the more serious (and much more terrifying for the child) night terrors. Night terrors are like nightmares but you sleep walk and have no memory of what has happened to you. Children have been known to do some very scary things during night terrors. If you suspect he is having night terrors or that him nightmares are prolonged and serious, take him to a doctor. There are many reasons for nightmares, some are easily solved and other can be caused by deep seated issues or trauma.

Answer 4

I think most kids go through phases of nightmares, its just all the thoughts and confusions of a child learning to live each day, and it gets scary, just like with adults who are nervous of something coming up, then in your sleep you dream of the worst things that could happen. This is normal.

I have used (and still do) dreamcatchers in my kids room. Before they go to sleep, we made up a verse for them to say just before i leave the room, it sounds silly but it really does help calm my kids, even when they wake in the night with nightmares we just say the verse again, and it really does help settle them. I also explain that its ok, its not real, just like the programmes on tv, its all make believe, and that settles them. Try giving a small drink of milk before they go back to sleep. Try putting a few drops of lavender somewhere near the bed (not on it), this will help calm their minds. The verse i came up with is "dreamcatcher, dreamcatcher, catch my bad dreams. Dreamcatcher, dreamcatcher give me good dreams." My 11 year old son still says this when he wakes up scared and it settles him again. It just focuses their mind away from the nightmares for a few seconds, which is usually enough for them to start different dreams when they go back to sleep. I wouldnt take him to the GP, but you could speak to the health visitor who will probably give the advice i have given, and she can put your mind at rest that this is a normal phase in the childs life. Dont make a big thing about the nightmares, and dont ask what they were about, it will make them think about it more and they wont be able to relax enough to sleep again.

Answer 5

Dreams are just the subconscious mind communicating with the conscious mind. There's probably something that's bothering him in his daily life, or maybe, he's seen or heard a few too many scary things lately, that are sitting in the back of his mind, waiting to come out when he's sleeping.

Sounds like this is a new occurrence in his life. I would just comfort him, help him to think of happy things before bed, help him to feel secure, respected and loved in his days & see if they pass.

Answer 6

Well, I was going to suggest having him share a room with one of his brothers as that cured my oldest son's nightmares but I guess he's already doing that. I would try talking to him about them - is he having the same recurring nightmare, is it any particular fears? Often they are triggered by something they see on TV. With my son, before he went to sleep we would talk about "happy thoughts" first. Things that made him happy that day, talk about people he loves and things he loves to do.... I felt that if he went to sleep thinking about happy things, it would maybe lead to happy dreams..... it does seem to work for my son. Anyways, I'd have your son talk to your grandson alot to see if he can fish out if something is wrong or bothering him. Most likely though its just a phase he'll grow out of.

Answer 7

I do not agree to letting her sleep in your room, but the other suggestions are really good ones. Hold her and rock her read her to sleep. This is so heartbreaking to read. She will be like this for a while as she continues to forget what has happened to her mom. You are being so wonderful with her and doing everything you can. I would suggest take her to the pedi doctor if her daytime behavior becomes affected as well. Dreams are a way for the mind to cope with anything traumatic that has happened, even though scary, is natural. Blessings to you both.

Answer 8

it does depend on the strength of the nightmare if you understand me,my daughter who is 8 has night terrors very different from a normal nightmare she looks awake can come downstairs speak to you and have no recollection in the morning,her terrors are so bad that she screams so loud my neighbours can hear her and she is violent when she is having one.i took her to the doctors and after 12mths they sent her to the hospital to try and speak to somebody which up to now has made no difference to her personally as she cannot remember anything of her dream or of what she has done,only the rest of the family.
if you try asking him if he remembers what his dreams are about you may find out if he remembers them then get him to write it down on a piece of paper to see if he can see anything in it he can relate back to his everyday life like anxiety,or stress of school.(this is an exercise the hospital gave us)
i am sorry this is a long reply but it may help you and good luck with your grandson.

Answer 9

Well I remember when I was younger I had sooooooooooooooo much nightmares, and now I hardly get them, so I'm not sure that it's much to worry about, but there's no harm in going to a doctor just incase. Maybe there's something worrying your son...I wouldn't know though, so maybe it's best you take him to see someone.

Good luck.

Answer 10

my daughters nearly 4&recently started having nightmares,ive brought her a dream catcher&it seems 2 have worked, read chearful bedtime stories&lots of cuddles&reassurance,maybe check round the room b4 bedtime with him,checkin all the places hes frightened of,also try a night lite or give him his own torch so he can check 4 himself anything scary,personally i dont think its a problem 4 the docs just yet,might scare him even more or make him think theres something wrong with him,as a mother of 3 im sure he will grow out of it,sweet dreams!