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To become a grandparent?

My husband's mother has a boyfriend, they've been together since before my daughter was born 3 1/2 years ago. For that time we've lived in another state but last month we moved to their town. MIL's boyfriend doesn't seem to know how to act around my daughter, one day he's playing with her and being a buddy, then next day he's cussing in front of her and yelling at her when he loses his temper (though he's mad at something else). MIL makes the excuse that it takes time to get used to the idea of having a child around. How long?

We don't use them for childcare or anything, we just want her treated well in their presence, I'm not expecting him to love her...

2007-09-21 12:45:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

10 answers

From day one, this man should be kind around your daughter. He shouldn't be cussing at anyone. Maybe your mum-in-law should move on, romantically speaking.

2007-09-21 12:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 4 · 1 0

He probably has a mean streak but is really trying. If he fundamentally doesn't like kids or they annoy him as soon as they do anything that isn't 100% cute he may appreciate some firm but polite rules about his behavior in front of your daughter. Remember, it's not what you say but how you say it. To this day I have to correct my short tempered mother sometimes on what isn't appropriate to say in front of my 10 year old. Advocate for your daughter and just very firmly but sweetly tell him you love the way he behaves with your daughter and she likes him, however, maybe he's not aware of how upsetting it can be when he yells at your daughter or swears in front of her and you need it to stop because you don't want her using that language or being fearful of him. By approaching it this way you are giving him an out of not being aware rather than accusing him. If he continues then become firmer each time until the ultimate, that is not acceptable behavior and I won't tolerate it.

2007-09-21 19:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Cash 5 · 0 0

Give it some time for them to get accustomed to one another. If he has a bad attitude then you should let your daughter stay away from him. Maybe in about six months you may see them getting along with each other well.

2007-09-21 19:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by Reycen 5 · 0 0

Only take the child for visits, not overnights. Be there with your child at all times. Some older folks are not as patient with the energy a child has and that will never change.

2007-09-21 19:50:55 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 0 0

well, my parents have been grandparents in name only for the last 21 years , they only have 4 grandchildren, but they haven't 'been' there for any of them..... so, how long does it take?.............. maybe the owl will tell us first how many licks it takes to reach the center of the tootsie roll pop first........

2007-09-21 20:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by bizzymom38 4 · 0 0

i would take the mom on her side and tellher just that. i mean he can't do that and enough problems for little ones to grow up with. its hard to rreason with some people at least try that.

2007-09-21 20:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0 0

maybe you could explain to him how you don't want your kid exposed to cussing

2007-09-21 19:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by Regina 2 · 0 0

dude is probably just an a$$. he will always be that way

2007-09-21 19:50:10 · answer #8 · answered by itsnotmyfault 2 · 1 0

talk to him, sit with him and help him play with her, ask him not to curse. its really all you can do.

2007-09-21 19:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by Acappella S 3 · 0 0

keep her away from him

2007-09-21 20:17:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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