They haven't been together for 7 years (the daughter is 8). She is majorly rude to my boyfriend and has control of everything since she has full custody. When my boyfriend gets visitation, she tells him what time to have the daughter home by, we bought clothes for the daughter, and have never seen them since. What do I do? I have been avoiding her until now, and just wondering when I do have to interact with her, what do I do? I have no respect for this woman and want nothing to do with her at all. Can I just have a relationship with the daughter without the mother being involved in my life?
2007-09-21 11:46:53 · 7 answers · asked by katie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a common problem...if you ever meet the mother, just be polite. Otherwise, don't worry about her.
2007-09-21 11:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have contact with her unless you marry the dad. When(if) that happens you need to polite, rudeness just gives her a spark to start a fire. When clothes are bought, kept them there for her when she visits, as well as toys. As far as visitation, it should be set through the courts, when you get to pick her up, and what time she has to be home on the return date. If this is set, through the courts, then she will not have control over this. Having her home fairly early when she has school is understandable, but if it is a long weekend, then later should be ok. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE MOTHER AROUND THE CHILD! She loves her mom, so never talk down about her, another spark for a fire. You need to respect her as the mother of your boyfriends child, but that's as far as it goes.
2007-09-21 12:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to step back from this relationship and examine your reasons for staying in it. Why does the mother have full custody? That would be a major red flag for me. And, you must realize that the conflict and discontent are not going to go away -- this is what you are signing up for if you continue in this relationship. If that's what you want for yourself and for your life well, then, hang in there. I would not want that much strife -- life is way too short. Good luck, and God bless.
2007-09-21 13:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the mom will always be there. And most of us in blended families deal with this sort of crap.
If you buy her clothes don't send them on. If there is nothing saying that you have to buy them then she don't need them. Buy what she can wear at your house and leave them at your house.
If this woman knows she gets to you then she will keep going at it so ignore her. Work on her your relationship with your boyfriend and his daughter. Make sure your boyfriend knows that this is between him and her and you want no part of it except your relationship with his daughter.
She will always loom in the back but you don't have to deal with it. You can be a support to your boyfriend and his daughter without her bs.
Good luck :)
2007-09-21 11:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its a sucky situation you're in cause
one: she's not your kid
and, two: she is her mother and has ful custody (like you said).
Anyway, you don't have respect for her.. that's fine! not everyone can get along in this world, avoid her as much as you can. Remember though that that little girl is your boyfriends daughter, so just be very mutual about it andtry not to complain about HER mother to YOUR boyfriend.. it will just creat more and more tension between you and him.
He knows she's a biatch. you don't have to tell him that lol.
Just be cool about it, he's a big boy.. he knows how to deal with this stuff. Try staying out of it, if you know what I mean.
2007-09-21 11:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if you don't respect her, be polite towards her. Whatever issues or negative opinions you may have of her, don't go starting any trouble with her. Don't be involved in her life anymore than necessary. She will have concerns about you and you don't want to bolster those concerns.
2016-05-20 04:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a thorn in your b/f side and she's going to be a thorn in your side too especially if you marry him.
2007-09-21 12:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋