Okay...everyone feel free to weigh in on breast feeding in public...?

Question

There is a lady in my local area who was asked to leave a store at the mall recently b/c she was breast feeding her year-old son. From her own version of the story, she did not have a blanket covering her and she sat down on a bench in the back of the store and proceeded to feed. An employee asked her (rudely) to leave and called mall security. They filled out an incident report.
Now, this lady believes that her civil rights have been violated. All she was doing was "taking care of her child". She has a lawyer and wants to get a law passed that requires store employees to know and understand guidelines that allow mothers to breast feed in public.
Keep in mind that our mall has a designated family area with plush chairs, a microwave, a play area and other ammenities for families to relax and take care of such business, so it's not like she didn't have anywhere else to go.
What do you guys think about this situation or public breast feeding in general??

Interesting responses so far! I don't have any children and if I ever do, I'll probably breast feed (though not in public!). For those of you who are mothers, is it inconvenient to pump at home and carry the milk in a bottle for trips out in public? I hear the argument that the baby cannot be ignored...what about taking less than a 5 minute walk to a more secluded area (i.e. not in a store)? Is that an impossible option or am I missing something?
I've worked with a few women before who have had to pump at work in order to make bottles. Should they be allowed to do that at their desk? Or do you think this should be kept private?

Answer 1

I think that yes, a child should be fed, but keep it covered. There are other children and even adults who don't need to or don't want to see that. If there is an area that they can go to and do it privately then they should go there. We don't just squat down and pee wherever we want. And, if they're covering it up it isn't so bad either. But, when a lady lifts her shirt up in the middle of a restaurant or store without even trying to be discreet or respectful about it, it is annoying.

Answer 2

Even though I wouldn't personally feel comfortable seeing a woman's breasts in public, due to my cultural upbringing, I also don't think people should stop doing a reasonable thing just because of my feelings. And a busy woman feeding a hungry baby when her child cries for food is extremely reasonable. Even for selfish reasons, I'd rather accidentally glimpse breasts than hear a wailing baby anytime. I think the employee could have politely pointed her over to the family center, saying perhaps she will be more comfortable over there (both nicer and more likely to get the customer's compliance.) Restrooms are not good places to eat, for babies or anyone else, and as for covering up... I'd prefer people be discreet, just as I prefer to people chew with their mouths closed, but in both cases looking away is a better option than making trouble over it. True, a business legally has the option to refuse to serve someone, but it's still my opinion we should encourage women to breastfeed when the child needs it as that's healthiest, and accept that sometimes that means it will happen in public.
Edit: About this specific situation, I don't really know enough details to comment, but from your version it sounds like there was some over-reaction from everyone involved.

Answer 3

I feel that as long as a woman does it in a manner that is discrete, there is absolutely nothing to be embarassed about. If I had children, I would be unbearably mad if someone confronted me about feeding my child, whenever the child was hungry. Why be relegated to a nasty public restroom? Would those who naysay public breastfeeding want to take their own meals in a public restroom? My mother is from a large family, and even when the family was together for holidays and such, if any of the women had babies still breastfeeding, they would either stay with the group and cover discretely with a towel or blanket while their baby ate or they would retire to one of the bedrooms, but the other women in the family were always welcome to join them and continue chatting. There's absolutely no reason why a woman should ever be made to feel embarassed for doing what nature intended and what is best for their child.

Answer 4

I think it says something about society that this topic isn't too boring to even mention.
I've been feeding my daughter in public for 5 months now and have only had a negative reaction once. This chap was trying to disuade me from feeding in his shop, particularly near the front. Apparently it would put people off coming in. He then (trying to soften what he was saying) commented that he wasn't being politically correct. I agreed most politely and said sadly that if I had to leave his shop to feed, I wouldn't be able to spend any money. In the light of my being a good customer, he decided it might not be quite so bad after all, and about 30 seconds later a middle aged couple came in and when they actually realised I was feeding, not just holding my baby, they went on for about 10 mins about how lovely it was. Then how lovely it was that I use cloth nappies.
If people want to stare at my breast for that brief moment between lifting my shirt and getting my daughter attached, that's their problem. It's hardly my fault they were looking. Listening to a baby screaming for her lunch while their mother pays for her shopping and tries to get to the "family area" is far worse for the tranquility of atmosphere, if indeed you can have tranquility in a shopping centre. For those who cry that she ought to be covered with a blanket, managing a blanket and a squirming kid isn't as easy as it sounds. Or should a law be made that all breastfeeding mothers should wear ponchos?
So, while I'm not out there to flash my boobs at everyone, I will feed in public. A crusade if you like against making a fuss over this issue. Eventually it'll be so commonplace, no one will ever bother to mention it.
If the shopkeeper in this situation had such an issue, why didn't he/she offer to let her sit in the office out the back or something? No need to be rude; and the security people should be worrying about more important things like shop lifting.

Answer 5

Ah... extremeists! What would we do without them? Life would be so calm and quiet.... possibly, boringly so. But, exist they do - even on an issue such as this. Well, I'm a firm believer that when there are two sides to an issue, if you can come to some sort of compromise, you make it a win-win situation. Of course, it does mean you have to give a little - and extremeists are rarely willing to do so. They want things their way... 100%....with no consideration for anyone else's point of view; which is why people continue to argue and fight - all over the world - over everything! But, as a self proclaimed compromiser, I find the solution to this very simple - and yes, boring. First, I agree that breast-feeding is natural, and should be done anytime, anywhere.... but, not any way! Mothers must often take their babies with them to public places. (Not everyone is blessed with a live-in Nanny, and even Nanny is pointless in brest-feeding - unless, you want to pump and bottle-feed.) Furthermore... hungry, screaming babies can be much more distracting than the sight of a woman's breast. (Well, to me. I won't presume to speak for men.) So, by all means, Mom.... feed your precious angel. But, c'mon. You must be carrying a packed diaper bag. Throw in a light weight baby blanket, and drape it over the shoulder of the breast you're feeding from, and loosely over your little one. (By the way, almost any clean piece of material will do. Beach towels work great at the beach, for instance.) So, what's the problem? the minor inconvenience of covering your breast? That's your "give" part of the compromise. And, what does the "other side" have to "give"? the side that wants you to nurse only in Baby's room with the door locked? They have to give you complete authority to feed your child whenever/wherever you feel it's necessary! And, wasn't that your objective, anyway? See, Win-Win. By the way, don't give me the "Breasts aren't sexual.... They're only for nursing" routine. Bet you didn't say that to Daddy when you were concieving that child.

Answer 6

Babies need to be fed, and some babies are fed by breasts. If it is okay for a mother to sit there and give her child a bottle in that same place, than it is okay for a mother to breastfeed her child there too. Our society is so caught up on sexuality and breasts that this becomes an issue. Breasts are mammary glands (hence mammals) and that is how some people choose to feed their babies. Feeding a baby is not the same thing as taking a crap. How insulting to a new mother who chooses to do this and to a sweet newborn baby who gets its nutrition this way! I think the people who think breastfeeding in public is not okay probably have issues with breastfeeding in general. Otherwise, what's the big deal? Is it a woman's breast that is the big deal? Or a baby sucking on a woman's breast that is the big deal?

Answer 7

as you say, there are certain areas in private places for that type of thing and,if they exist where the mother may be at the moment(mall,etc.) then she should have no reason to be doing that anywhere else. in general, i would say that i could never do that nor an comfortable seeing someone feeding their child and cannot understand how they could, but if the baby' hungry and you use a blanket or something, i can't see why people should be angry.

Answer 8

I think the breast feeding needs to be done in a private place if at all possible. She should also use something to cover herself. The mall had a reserved place for family she could have used. She also could have gone to the woman's restroom which usually has an area to sit and wait. I am not saying that that gives the employee the right to be rude and call the security on her. She was overreacting.

Answer 9

First of all "sqatting and peeing" in public is WAY different than breast feeding a baby! Also a store is NOT private property if it alows the open access to the PUBLIC and that would be the customers even ones that breastfeed. Breasts were made for one purpose and one purpose only and that was to feed children. Society has sexualized them and made them something of a taboo subject. I breast fed both of my children for one year and I breast fed in public with my second child. I don't have to eat in a bathroom so why should my baby? Granted I was very shy about it with my first baby and would go home to feed her but once I had my second one I decided that nursing is a natural process and nothing to be ashamed of. I was so good at breast feeding in public that no one would even know what I was doing. I draped a blanket over my shoulder and it just looked like she was sleeping. My husband was my biggest supporter for breastfeeding our baby and he would alway help me get situated in public so I could nurse comfortably. I feel that babies have the right to eat and mothers have the right to feed their children no matter where that has to happen. Period. Over in Europe they are much more accepting of women breastfeeding in public and this country needs to just join the 21st Century and stop being such hypocrits. So it is okay for a woman to prance around half naked with her cleavage cinched up to her chin but it is not okay for a woman to feed her child!? Come on people!

Answer 10

The problem with this whole issue is from a religious point of view. Religion has made showing any part of the body a sin, and we all know the government is driven by religion because of the "morals" that religion brings to its voters.

The fact is breast feeding is natural and better for the baby. Be discrete, but don't allow the public to jump all over you for it. If they do, simply sue them for violation of civil rights.

And then hit your politician with massive letters from mothers all over your city so they know your sick and tired of the religious "morals" dictating your life.

Answer 11

I starred this in the hopes that my friend and breastfeeding advocate, Sunshine, would come and give a good answer... and I know she will be annoyed with me for this, but:

Breastfeeding in public weirds me out.
I have respect for (and certainly would not offend) breastfeeding mothers, but I definitely do not understand it.

Maybe it is because I am not a mother, or maybe it is because I was raised catholic, but I see my breasts as a private part of me... and yes, a sexual aspect of my body. Just because I decided to share this physical bond with my child does not mean I would want to share my bare breasts with anyone who walked by.

Even if my breast went from sexuality to nurturing, I have to think I would still consider them to be a private part of my body.

However, I do respect a woman's right to breastfeed in public. I would personally decide to go to the comfortable and private room provided unless my baby was emaciated and in dire deed of nutrients, but I respect a mother's right to nourish her child wherever she decides is best.
:)