Should i break up with her?

Question

I love my gf so much.She doesnt want the same things as me though and our dreams are completely different.She doesnt ever want to marry or have kids and i do.I want to live in China and she wants to stay in the US.We are completely different and we want different things but i love her.I need opinions from unbiased people.

By the way when i say break up i mean drop all contact and move on.

Answer 1

talk to her...give it a try maybe you can comprimise...say live in america but get married...maybe just have one kid...or live in china but don't have kids...you might be able to work it out but if she's not willing to budge i think you should move on because no woman is worth sacraficing your goals and ambitions. good luck

Answer 2

How anxious are you to get married and how old are you? I know that when I was a teenager, marriage and kids sounded utterly distasteful....until I turned 25, had my quarter life crisis, and decided that any relationship that didn't hold the potential of marriage (but not kids) was not worth my time. Hit 30, all the sudden, kids all the way.

How soon is China going to be an issue and for how long? Strong relationships can get through a year abroad, or are you talking ten years abroad. Is she willing to compromise at all on what she wants? Are you willing to compromise? Relationships are about meeting each other halfway.

And, most importantly, are you prepared for the reality that a new relationship might not happen immediately, and that you might never find someone like her again? Are you okay with the idea of being alone for a year or more, or never meeting her match? If you can say, I know what I am walking away from, I know that I don't know whether I'll find something better, but I'm okay with it anyway, then you're ready to leave. You have to be okay with knowing that to be okay with your decision.

Answer 3

Talk with her. Tell her how much you care for her and you're willing to negotiate anything(if you're willing)to keep your relationship in tact. Haven't you ever heard of "Opposites Attract?" People in a relationship don't always have to be into the same things as their significant other; sometimes that can be a bad thing. Maybe as time goes by she'll want to start a family or travel to China or something. You seem to really love and care for her. Remember, don't end a relationship over something that can possibly be compromised.

Wish you the best!

Take care,
John P.

Answer 4

What do you love if you want different things? You really should move on. I have a feeling she most certainly will want to marry and have children. She just doesn't want to with you. That is a sad fact that you can read about in "He's Just Not That In To You". It's a very good book that you can use for women as well.

As for this China thing, you do need someone who will move with you. I don't think you're as in to this girl as you think you are.

Answer 5

Some people mistake loving someone for loving the feeling of a relationship. Now, assuming that you have not made this mistake, I shall continue. I say if the two of you can't find a middle ground on any of these issues or sacrifice for each other, then I would suggest ending it for the sake of time and happiness. Love is sacrifice.

Answer 6

It will never work, move on! I speak from experience.
It will hurt of course, but youll be fine, and find someone else on your path those are HUGE issues to not have in common, its not like a difference of the type of foods you like,, come on, use your common sense instead of you heart here,, I know its tough, she is telling you something if she is not willing to change her life at all for you, then she DOES not LOVE you! Most of the time a woman in love will change some for the man she loves,, that is the way most of us are built. I think you are her Mr. right now not her Mr. Right!

Good luck!

Answer 7

Well if you love her enough to stay with her and do what she wants then i say stay with her, but if you stay with her will you always be happy?

If you really want kids and to get married and move to china you need to find someone that wants what you want and then she can find someone that doesn't want kids or to get married then you both can be happy.

My opion you should find someone else my sister was with a guy for 5 years then he told her he never wanted kids and or to get married and she did, well they broke up and she is now with a guy that wants to have kids later on and there are engaged.

hope you make the right choice = )

Answer 8

What's love got to do with it? Sounds like you don't have enough in common to make the relationship work. Eventually your differences will separate you. Get out now & don't waste anymore time on this relationship. Your heart will heal and you will know to look for signs of compatibility BEFORE you invest a lot of time on building a relationship.

Answer 9

Are you willing to sacrifice your dreams so that she can live hers?

Every relationship you will ever have will be filled with differences.

Finding the right person means that you would sacrifice anything to be with her. But once you make that decision there is no going back. If you start I shoulda, woulda, coulda it will be the beginning of the end.

Answer 10

Just to let you know there is nothing worse then having your boyfriend break up with you and how old are you because if you are in high school still I hope your not looking to get married in high school but if you're older then that and you want to break up with her then do it slowly like don't talk to her as much and don't hold hands with her anymore because she will start to get the clue that you don't like her anymore and that she should move on.

Answer 11

I think that it sounds like you are still young and there are plenty of other women that you will have a lot more in common with, but it;s one of those try till you have no more options or you will always look back and wonder what if. It's a hard choice, but marriage and kids and what country is very important.