when i was 4 i was...?

Question

sexually harassed by an 18 year old i went to his mom's daycare and when no one was looking would stick his hand down my pants i eventuall told my mom but now i think sex is horrible and i feel like i will never want to try it im 13 and i definatlly wouldn't do it now im too young but when im older i still won't want to and im afraid people won't like me for it how do i get over this?

Answer 1

oh sweetie, what a horrible thing to have gone through. :(
I don't understand why people can be so sick, especially to a child.
It's understandable how you feel. I would seriously talk to your mom about seeing a counsler or psychologist about this. Only a trained professional is going to be able to help you get over the damage this boy has inflicted on you. They will give you lots of advice on how you can recover and put those horrible memories aside. Some may say that you are young and that with time you will get over it, but there are so many people decades older than you, that have gone through something similar when they were your age, and are STILL coping with the pain that was inflicted. And those people have had every area of their lives damaged because of being victimized. Seek professional help. The sooner you get help, the less deep the damage will set in. Don't waste time.
Another thing you mentioned was you are afraid that people won't like you when you are older because sex doesn't interest you. Well as far as I'm concerned, if you get a bad rap just because you don't want to have sex, then they are just as bad (or almost) as the 18 year old that abused you! It is nobody elses decision but your own when it comes to exposing your body on an intimate level. Never feel pressured to have sex either. It is your decision, not theirs.

I think it is completely normal for you to feel how you feel about sex, especially for what you have gone through. But let me give you some advice. In a loving relationship, it won't be the sex he is after, but sex will just be an extra special way of sharing your love for each other. When it isn't forced and when it is with someone you are in love with and feel very connected to, it is very enjoyable and compliments a growing relationship. That is really what sex was intended for. Sharing your love, and making babys.

One more thing.... I know this is difficult, but I would definately turn this guy in if you haven't already. Any one out there of his age knows better. He is a sex offender and child molester. By turning him in, you may just help some other little girl or boy out there from having to experience the same pain you have.

I'm so sorry sweetie. Do seek some professional help. No one will think bad of you for it.

I wish you the best. :)

Answer 2

my dear young lady , I'm so sorry that this terrible. terrible ,thing happened too you . it must have been very hard for you to talk about this so openly . the reason why i'm saying this is because i myself was harassed by my own mother.s boy friend when i was your age . and the only thing in our experience ,i did not tell i still deal w/this in all the relationships that i've been in .I have a problem w trust i can't seem to forget. i'm always blamed for fail relation /ships i , must tell u that it will never go away i don.t care how old we get ,it will never go away from an older woman please get some professional help while u r young to deal with most unrightous thing that we as young lady's could go thourough Keep YOUR HEAD UP AND U LOVE U AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL WORK OUT JUST FINE, O.K. I SND THIS W/luv.

Answer 3

You can stand up for yourself now. Do not let anyone touch you anywhere you don't want to be touched. It is your body and you are in controll of it now. I think child molesters should be taken out and shot. You can get over it. Just remember that he was at fault not you. Don't let that bad experiance ruin the rest of your life as an adult. You may want to look for a job later in your young adult life that can help abused children. You will be able to tell them that you know what their talking about and feeling because you have been there. Keep your head held high and don't let it prevent you from having a healthy sex life when you are ready.

Answer 4

I'm sure it was so scarey for you when you were little and this guy was doing bad things to you. It was not your fault, and no one will not like you because of it! I don't think you should be ashamed to talk about it- if it makes you feel better to discuss it, but it does not have to be just anyone's business- so most people will never need to know it happened. I'm sure that with time, the bad feelings will fade, and once you're older you'll meet someone, and sex won't seem so awful, but talking to a therapist or doctor, can help give you ideas of how to cope better with your feelings. Good luck.

Answer 5

There are 2 things that can happen to you. Either you will be completely shut down sexually or you will be going at it like rabbits with anyone you can get your hands on. You need to seek some type of counseling over this. No matter how silly it sounds, you need to do it. This is something that is going to effect your relationships in the future and it needs to be brought out and dealt with. I have had a relationship where this had happend to a girl, and besides the physical aspect of things, its going to affect you and your future partner emotionally. Deal with it as soon as you can, and don't be ashamed that it happend.

Answer 6

Therapy!

Well at least talk to people about it.

By the way if I was President I would pass a law that anyone who does what that prick did to you he should have that same hand chopped off.

Anyway. I know a girl who had that type of thing happen to her and she is really messed up now. But it is because she let it kind of control her life by trying to not let it control her life. (confusing? I know) basically she tries to pretend it does not bother her so instead of talking about it and moving pass it she has sex with a lot guys none of whom she likes, and she doesn't even like the sex, so why does she do it? So what happened when she was younger doesn't control her.

I would hate for that to happen to other people. So find someone you trust to talk about it with. A lot of people do grow to feel okay about sex again, if they want to.

Answer 7

You should probably seek some professional help. My guess is that you equate sex with an inability to trust people since this guy took advantage of you. A healthy sexual relationship is all about trust, so you are going to have to move past some of those issues. A professional will also be able to advise you as to things you might be able to read to help get you moved in that direction.

Answer 8

I am so sorry to hear that..no 4 year old should ever have to experience something of that nature. However, right now you are only 13 years old and you shouldn't even worry about it. When I was that age then sex disgusted me even..up until I was around 15. So don't let it worry you..things will work out and if you feel that this is really depressing you then maybe talk to your mom about getting you a shrink.

Goodluck and if you need anyone to talk to my email address is [e-mail]

You are in my prayers.

Answer 9

Much like the 1st answer (which is simple but good), just give it time. Don't dwell on something that "hopefully" won't happen for a few more years down the road. Have some fun with the rest of your life. I'm sorry that the guy did that to you. I'm sure he's probably feeling like scum for doing that to a baby, too.

Answer 10

Being a victim of non- consenting sexual touching is nothing to be ashamed of.

Seeking expert opinions and researching the subject of how "to move on" and become sexually active might be an area for you to concentrate on.

Having sex as a teenager is the norm in any G7 country. You do need to take the correct precautions and get educated.

Good luck!!