Dear All,
HR Policy: Effective Sep 2007
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Annual Leave Days
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year.They are called Sundays.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an
2007-09-21 07:33:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the chronic offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain theiraverage figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,
irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
2007-09-21 07:34:41 · update #1
Love it! Too funny.
I think we must work in the same office.
2007-09-21 09:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nice... haven't heard that one before, and it's different to many of the other office jokes... Here's one. MEMO: A recently pregnant staff member has requested that we send this message to all on this floor: To the person who drank the milk in the little green tupperware container in the 8th floor fridge, please DO NOT OWN UP. I bring my little son to work, and well, that milk was special, if you get my drift. I don't think I would be able to stand discussing policies with you if I knew who you were, so if you found the milk tasty, I suggest you call your mother and tell her you love her.
2016-05-20 02:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in school when i read this and I thought it was pretty funny so I told all of my classmates and they laughed their a** off. You're good. You gotta tell more of these. Good luck and post them as soon as possible. I'm really bored.
2007-09-21 07:55:02 · answer #3 · answered by barhoom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the co. I used to work for
2007-09-22 12:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by nick k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I really liked that, had to read it twice so I could have another laugh! Very good.
2007-09-22 00:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That made me laugh! Sounds like something my work would do!
2007-09-21 22:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one - Joke for the day
2007-09-21 22:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Raj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Big Brother, where art thou?
2007-09-21 08:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by metanoia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pmsl
2007-09-21 22:22:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol!!!!!!!!! I thing if companies could get away with that they would do it!
2007-09-21 07:47:08 · answer #10 · answered by lala girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋