How do you know what your sensei really thinks about you?

Question

Obviously they are not going to tell you that you suck, because you are paying. And if you are good at what you're doing they aren't going to help you develop a big ego about it. So how do you know what your sensei thinks of your skills?
Responses appreciated, especially from the senseis who regularly contribute.
Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

At my school it depends on the student, their age and their maturity. I can be more brutally honest to a student that competes at a high level like the national circuit than a raw beginner or one that does not compete at a high level. I never say "they suck" though-only what they may be doing wrong and I never use those words in conveying it. Instead I focus on what it is they are doing wrong, convey it to them along with my expectations and/or examples they can relate to and how to correct it or improve on it. If it is something that is particularly sensitive to them I do it in private and always follow it with some positive aspects about what they are doing so they leave informed, motivated, understanding what they need to work or improve on and not feeling like they are a piece of trash or their work and abilities are. Then when they are working or doing it better in class than before I give them praise and any small little pointers to keep them on the road to improving. I use this same method with adult students and it keeps all students better motivated, and they tend to raise their skills and abilities to a higher level and makes for a better student overall. This is one of the things that they are also paying for and any good coach or instructor in any sport will take a similar approach. This also helps form a good relationship and lines of communication with students and also helps instructors and coaches keep their students grounded and avoid problems with things like ego.

Hidding the truth is what diploma mills do and they don't usually take the time to help fix their students lack of skill or understanding of something and just promote them along through the ranks to black belt.

Answer 2

Interesting quesion, though it may be a matter of perception and outlook.

From my outlook, everyone no matter what their rank is on a continuum of learning and progress. Some are at the beginning of that curve and struggling, while others are futher along the curve. Indeed, each different aspect of the art has its own curve of exposure, practice, learning, and competence. Thus no students ever really "suck", they are merely at a different place on the learning curve overall.

Instructors should be conveying that information to you in a number of direct and less direct ways all the time in class. You should be getting direct feedback both positive "good job" and corrective "that's close but try adjusting this" etc. as you train in class with them. You should also be getting feedback from formal assessment points, such as structured classroom reviews, or belt testing events.

An instructor worth the weight of their belt will provide honest feedback in a constructive and positive way to help you progess in your journey, or will make resources avaialble to you to overcome difficulties you may be having.

The only time that a student truly "sucks" is when they have a negative or aggressive attitude toward other students or a disrespectful attitude toward the instructors or the school. Those should be rare occurrences, but they mary require a much more direct approach by the instructor in order to maintain the tranquility and welcoming atmoshphere of the school.

The relationship between instructor and student must be a two way flow of honest and forthright communication as well as trust and respect. Without this, there is a large opportunity for miscommunication and misunderstanding. If you are concerned, I would ask for a meeting with your instructor and have a heart to heart chat with them. They should be most willing to do this, and they should be honest and open with you.

Good luck!

Ken C
9th Dan HapMoosaKi-Do
8th Dan TaKwon-Do
7th Dan YongChul-Do

Answer 3

I would ask, but you can also watch for body language. If they seem to be studying your movements, odds are they're critiquing your technique and probably see something that's not quite right. If they smile when they see you do something...you are either earning their approval or you just made a huge mistake (usually you know the latter just by virtue of the consequences of a mistake in training).

Honestly though, I'd talk to my instructor if I were you. Maybe ask them for an overall evaluation of how you're doing. If they're a sincere teacher...they won't say you "suck" but they will tell you what needs work and they'll remember that you are a student and that you shouldn't be doing everything correctly. Otherwise, you'd be in their shoes.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Your going to get a positive answer, even if it is a negative thought. If you were really bad, and I'm not saying you are, then he/she would find something good to say about your training. I think that Instructors need to be honest but remember that those they are talking to are human beings at the same time. I know how difficult it may be to give negative feed back, kinda in that area myself right now, but if you listen close, no matter what they say you should be able to determine what they really mean. If they avoid saying anything directly then there most likly trying to not hurt your feelings and keep there cash. Saying you are very attentive in class, you show up on time stuff like that is an indicater that they are avoiding telling you that they think that your skill is sub-par. Anyway, who cares what they think. As long as your having fun and enjoying class why care how you rate. It's all about you and your needs not others ideas and views of you. It is all about your view of yourself. If you think you suck then you do, If you think your o.k. then you are. You make you, no one esle can.

Answer 5

there is a difference between telling a person that "they" suck, and their technique sucks.

most teachers will obviously not say "you have magnets on your back" if you are a crappy wrestler for example (ok, my coach used to say that to one kid who did- to his face, regularly).

however they will most likely offer constructive criticism or tell you "you are not ready" to spar, do a tournament, etc. yet if they feel you are so bad you are incapable of stepping out there and not bieng injured.

your teacher telling you that you are a "jacka ss" is two differnt things. however I think it would be relatively easy to spot a personality conflict with your teacher eventually.

just take the advice given and listen to it. ask about specifics. truthfully your teacher will always give you something that can improve, even if you are a pro level mma fighter. the point of training is to improve.

who cares what your teacher thinks, what matters is what you think AND that you are recieving critisism from your teacher so you can find your weak areas and build on them to make them better.

Personally I wouldnt' want a coach/teacher to tell me "you are doing everything right" because I know thats bs. No one can do everything perfectly.

Answer 6

I think that body language and patience tell the story. If you don't really like someone, it shows. But to get them to critique you truthfully is a personal thing and you have to either trust them or not, because you may never really know.

Answer 7

If a student asks me I tell them.
I don't use the word suck though.

Answer 8

Try asking and you might find out. Ask him or her how well you are doing and ask them to be honest with you no matter how brutal the answers might be.

Answer 9

wow , your gym must suck, no offense. at my gracie academy , my teacher, cesar gracie. tells me what I suck at and makes me practice it over and over again , and has me get my *** beat by the higher belt students till I can pull it off. he'll tell me if im outa shape , if i need to be more flexible , or if I just dont have my head in the game. thats kinda his job.

Answer 10

Hopefully, your instructor will tell you what he/she thinks. That's what my instructor does.