Scenario: A good friend of yours told you he/she likes you. But you may or may not feel the same about your friend. Lets say you lean more towards the "may not" feel the same way because you're already in a committed relationship and someone you really like. Your friend then tells you after a while that they no longer want to see you as much because it hurts them and they rather you guys just end the close relationship (I guess just being real simple talk once in awhile friends). However, you keep calling them and act like nothing has happened. And then they say "your're selfish" - are you? Why would someone do that - act like nothing has happened?
2007-09-21 06:31:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your good friend likes you and but knows that the two of you cannot be together. To spare their feelings they want to cut down on the contact. The person still calling ignoring the request is selfish because they are fulfilling their needs and not taking the other person's feelings into consideration. The one with the crush is getting crushed every time you talk to them.
2007-09-21 06:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just try to cheer my friend up. It's not a question of selfishness, they're just let down. Don't do like they do on TV and pretend to go out with the friend and then have to tell them later that you really don't like them and then they're let down but everything's all good. I don't think that's being selfish, it's just that the friend's upset and you need to talk. Not like nothing's happened, but as though you know and it needs to be straightened out. Friendships could be lost in a situation like this, but also this could mean that the friend isn't really your true friend. It's confusing and can be very annoying and frustrating at times, but that's why some people can get over it, because the people really aren't true friends. [If this is a real situation you need help with, then I wish you good luck!]
2007-09-21 13:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by UniversalGalaxy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its not being selfish its not being able to accept that they can't get something they want! They are upset that you don't feel the same way as them and they feel possibly used to a degree b/c you can separate the two relationships from another. Its a love for a person for some qualities, but having the Main and Important qualities in their "mate".
Being around you is a painful reality that they can't have you and that u find pleasure and all the things they want w/ you in someone else!
2007-09-21 13:44:23 · answer #3 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Following your scenario, if your friend says that he/she doesn't want to see or talk with you as much, because it hurts them to do so, then pretending nothing has happened disregards their feelings, and very likely continues hurting them. For that reason, it is showing selfishness on your part. (or their part, if you are the one who's hurting).
As to why they (or you) are pretending nothing has happened, it's a way of shirking responsibility for actions which are hurtful.
It may or may not be justified, since no one can "make" another person feel anything, but it doesn't help the situation, or make it any easier to deal with.
2007-09-21 13:42:55 · answer #4 · answered by Palmerpath 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are saying that you are being selfish because you know that it hurts them to continue the relationship yet you keep calling . But really they are being selfish because what did they expect you to do? Leave the person your with? They need to get over you for right now and if your single in the future look at you then. They need to stop being selfish and respect the fact that right now you are taken.
2007-09-21 13:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by Venessa B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be selfish purposely, but you do seem rather insensitive to this person's pain. Your friend feels more for you than you can in return; it's almost like being dumped by someone you still have strong feelings for. Give this person some space to deal with their feelings.
2007-09-21 13:38:58 · answer #6 · answered by 2bzy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is kinda selfish. you need to tell that friend how you feel or dont feel. when they asked you to end the relationship you should have respected that. if it is your friend that is the least you could do. if you are in a relationship then you need to do some deep thinking.
2007-09-21 13:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by summer w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe their trying to forget they told you but they really can't. I guess they think your giving them signals or something to make them think you "selfish". But you are probably just trying to be a friend just like they kind of wanted.
2007-09-21 13:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by chrisafirgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just want to be friend and she think more than that would ruin what you guys have and she is trying to forget about it and the other person keeps bringing it up and this is hurting her
2007-09-21 13:37:21 · answer #9 · answered by Josie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like they are trying to make you feel guilty over nothing. basically saying if we cant be an item than we cant be friends either and this is bulls**t cause its head games their playing on ya.their telling you that its all or nothing so leave him/her alone for awhile, back way up and stop their game playing now.
2007-09-21 13:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by pennylane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋