My 2 1/2 year old is wild. She has been since she started walking. I must keep her on a harness if I dare go out alone with her and my 6 mo. old. It doesn't go well, she drags us then has tantrums b/c she wants to walk by herself. (She runs and never looks back without the harness). She is even too wild for parks since I must hold or watch my 6 month old. She obviously has great trouble participating in events such as Kindermusik, story time at libraries, gymnastics, etc. She spends half the time in "time out" or we simply leave. We have even tried to give her a spankings with little effect. At the same time, rewards like stickers have little effect on her being good. We can't find any buttons to push. Even if we take away a toy she doesn't mind. If I just give up & stay at home she is bad because she is bored. Family tells me she is exactly like her dad was but to me that is not an excuse. I can't stay home and I can't go out happily. What can I try?
2007-09-21 05:56:34 · 18 answers · asked by ADC 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Have you tried the corner? For some reason that bugs my youngest the most. I have even put her in a corner in the store, it only took once and she did not misbehave in the store again. I also do not start my kids time out/corner until they are quiet, it does not do any good if they are allowed to scream the whole time. And my daughter has always been so stubborn the 1 minute per year was not enough, she would get 5 or 10 minutes. She needed enough time to calm down and then think or realize why she was there.
I also think the taking things away is more effective if you put it where they cannot get it but can see it. And you have to take something she really likes. And my daughter lost it for 1 day or 1 day and one night and she had to be good in that time frame or she would not get it back until she behaved for the most part for a whole day.
Another thing that might get her attention is to take your baby to the park and take her to a sitter, family or something, and say when you can behave you can come too. It is a little mean but sometimes you have to be to get their attention.
And the main thing is consistency with one form of discipline, even if you have gotten up 15 times and want to wring her neck, calmy get up and take action. Do not yell and do not argue. After a while she will learn that you will act. I give my kids one warning after that get up and do it.
My youngest was out of control and it took about of a month of constant discipline before she started listening. We have both been a lot happier since. But do not back off once she is good or it will set you back a mile.
And I always told her, "I may not like the way you are acting but I will always love you" She is either one or the other, she can be so sweet and loving and then her horns start showing.
Another thing is sleep and sugar. Even chocolate milk can effect her behavior if she has not eaten well before. And all those so called juices are packed with sugar. I was amazed at her behavior change when I started really limiting her sugar intake. It has never affected my oldest but definately does her. She just needs to eat a good meal first and not get it first thing in the morning.
Hang in there, it does get better. And the "she is just like her dad" is not an excuse, I agree with you on that. Her teachers will not accept that when she starts preschool or kindergarten, its better to get a grip on it now.
2007-09-21 06:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just have problems with their kids. Not for any particular reason most of the time but just because they have other problems and take them out on their children. I know a girl, that this sort of thing happened to. Her mother and father always called her fat, ugly, stupid, and she really is the total opposite. They also said that they hated her and wished she was dead. Her parents also used to beat her and her dad sexually abused her also. Anyway mostly because of the fat comments her mother made, she became anorexic and bulimic (she never was fat before she developed an eating disorder)and she is literally dying from it. It's one of the reasons she is in the hospital right now. I'm taking care of this beautiful little girl and I'm working on adopting her. I love her very much. I don't understand WHY in the world ANYONE would ever do this type of thing to a child. I actually asked a question similar to this about a day ago. It really is sad to see. Some people aren't meant to have kids or just have too many problems to handle having kids. But its hard on the children because they don't understand why this is happening to them and they end up thinking they deserve it. I've always thought ALL my children were the cutest thing I have ever seen. I think that with both of my grown daughters and my new daughter that I'm adopting.
2016-05-20 01:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world of parenting! Don't feel bad, as you are not alone. My 2 1/2 is the same way. If he get's to the point of thrashing around pitching a royal fit, then we will sit down and hold him on our lap, and talk to him until he calms down. Other than that we do the usual of putting him in time out, ect. Some days it seems like he spends a lot of time in the corner. It just takes time and patience, and I know it's hard to do with a 6 month old. The best advice I ever got was to count to ten.....in 3 different languages......LOL
Hang in there!
2007-09-21 07:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it's great that you have recognised a need in your daughter and are willing to try to sort it out......so many do not bother, so well done you.
For walks in the park, I used a, (yes I did) a retractable dog lead so that my manic daughter was able to run riot and come to no harm. I thought i'd get funny looks but I was very surprised to hear other parents say "What a great idea!"
Tantrums are a pain, used by them to get our attention and it works......when you get some good help on this i'll be interested!
I've used the toy method too to some success as I put the toy within sight but out of reach. She then can see it but cant get to it.
When there is a good behaviour moment, it is rewarded with the choice of toy to be returned.
I hope you continue to be firm and not give in to her. Our children cannot rule us, they need to know we are boss!!
2007-09-21 06:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anoni M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is the same exact way and what I did was slow down. Instead of kiddy group activities we go to the park and bookstore and such where it can be more one on one with him and I and I can address issues immediately instead of not wanting to disrupt class or publicly discipline him with all eyes on me. It has been great and we really have only stopped the group outings for about 4 months and are now slowly getting back into them like playing with the train set at Barnes and Noble, lots of play ground, and small groups of kids/ parents we know. Hope this helps
2007-09-21 17:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried watching Super Nanny for some ideas? Does she have a consistent schedule for going to bed, eating meals, getting up, nap time, along with regular meals, as much as possible with a 2 year old? Is the food she's eating nutritious, not filled with sugar, dyes, or preservatives? These items won't solve everything, but it helps create a sense or order and a routine, which allows you to have a sense of control, for her to see that you are in control, and then start working on expected behaviors.
2007-09-21 06:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by snapoutofit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My son is exactly like that way nothing works spankings, time out ,taking things away, He has not always been that bad. He is 7 now and last year he started having problems in school it got so bad that I finally set up an appointment with a behavior doctor that went against alto of my beliefs I had with children on meds but really I had little choices.So anyways I took him and she diagnosed him with multiple learning disabilities ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. that sound much like what you daughter is like. It means they will do anything and everything they want no matter what the consequences are.But she is still young and it could all pass with time. What you do with your child his up to you.But if it gets to hard to handle that always an option.
2007-09-21 06:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
she sounds like mine was at 2 1/2 (he's 5 now). My niece is 2 1/2, and acts the same way. All I can say is be consistant, have a routine and stick with it, and never give in to the tantrums!! Its hard, but she will outgrow it, and if you stick to your guns she will come out alright!
2007-09-21 06:03:38 · answer #8 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is wild because you let her be.
You aren't correcting her consistently and you are doing it wrong. I'm sure that you play this game: "Sarah Momma said stop, stop it sarah, come back here, now sarah, I really mean it, one.. two.. three.."
Correction should be swift and immediate at the moment of disobedience.
I don't spank my daughter in the sense that people think of spanking. I use an 8 inch length of aquarium tubing. When she disobeys, for example, her face gets red and I see an imminent tantrum, she gets swiftly swatted on the back of the hand or back of the leg. Not harshly, just quick- to bring her back to her senses. I tell her "No, that's ugly. We don't act like that, it's shameful." I tell her to use her words, and I tell her to stop crying now. I give her a few seconds to gather herself. If she continues, she gets swatted again. It only takes about 2 swats before she calms herself down. Then I immediately divert her attention to something interesting and she is her perfectly happy content self again.
Correction needs to be done in love. Don't ever ever spank or correct out of frustration and anger. Don't ever raise your voice. You need to remain control of the situation. Don't let your daughter control you.
Children have an inherent desire for order in their lives. She is out of control because you aren't providing that order. Train her at home. Have sessions where you make her be still on the couch or in a chair. Explain to her always what is expected of her. If she moves, swat her. When the session is done, praise her, and tell her what a big girl she is.
Always talk to her when you are out. Tell her how wonderful it is that she can control her body- show her other kids and how they are disobeying and tell her that it is ugly, shameful, and that they are acting like animals. Praise her for her temperant attitude.
Just don't go out until you have become the authority in her life again. Before you go out, tell her your expectations of her. Don't ever let your rules slide. One time, and you have lost her. She knows that you will cave eventually then.
If she throws a tantrum in public, stop what you are doing immediately and leave. Tell her as you are leaving that she will be punished for her behaviour and that it is so sad that she has to be.
Train her and expect her to nicely hold your hand when out and about. Praise her when she does. Tell her that she is so polite and grown up.
Above all, tell her that you love her more than anything. Include her in everything you do. Baking, laundry, cleaning the bathroom, she needs to be a part of a team and know that the world does not revolve around her. Tell her that you can't live without her, and that you need her so much.
2007-09-21 06:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by not too creative 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Have you watched Nanny 911? Same type of kids as yours and somehow at the end of the show the kids miracliously becaome angels. I believe instead on punishing the kids, they get taught love and discipline. There might be a few tips on there that can help you out.
2007-09-21 06:03:14 · answer #10 · answered by tofu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋