I asked a girl I really like out on a date, I think her parents are coming. Is this anything I should be worried about in the future? It isn't that i don't like her parents, I really like them. I just wanted to spend some one on one time with their daughter. Every time we meet she is with her parents, she is really religious and conservative, sort of old fashioned, but I like that. Oh, and she is in her mid to late 20's.
2007-09-21 05:21:34 · 52 answers · asked by cubensis2k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is their last child. The 3 other brothers are married with kids. And she lives at home. And for anyone who thinks the whole point of dating is to get laid, some of us don't think like that.
2007-09-21 05:28:40 · update #1
Ok...at first I thought, ok thats kind of cute and nice. And then you said she's in her mid to late 20s. I would be a little concerned if at that age she isn't allowed out on her own. I understand the old-fashion part (my parents were like that), but its time for them to let go. Its a nice gesture to include them every once in a while (very sweet plus you're earning brownie points with the parents which always helps). If they have a problem with her going out at nite, then try a day time meeting for you two alone...or they can drop her off and pick her up, or if you eat at the same restaurant but don't sit together. It sounds really extreme to me that they supervise her dates at this age, but I've heard of it (a friend of mine, altho not as extreme as parents tagging along, still has a curfew and we're all 23). I personally wouldn't be able to deal with this, but good luck. If it works for you, then it works.
And you're right....not everyone wants to get laid on the first date....some people actually want to know someone first........
2007-09-21 05:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm letting you know this now, and remember this well...
If they do come on your date, this will only be the beginning of some really rought times. Get used to frequent calls to mom to check in, her parents waiting up for her, and them questioning anything you do together.
And the fact that she's in her mid to late 20's make it even more likely that this will be an on going thing.
Be careful man... I've been there and it's a miserable relationship.... her parents have too much control if they're able to force their way into a date, so you better hope they never say you can't see her or it's over.
2007-09-21 05:28:15 · answer #2 · answered by Xeno 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought you were going to say that she is in high school or something but when I read that she is in her 20s... Well, after your first date and the parents see that you are trust worthy things will change, but on the second date... ask her for some alone time. Time where you and her can get to know each other without the parents. I am sure she will agree if there is something more that she wants out of you. If not, then it is a sign to move on.
2007-09-21 05:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by mishle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that this parents coming along thing is a religious or cultural tradition, so I am not sure how you are going to get out of it. I think the best way to go about it would be to RESPECTFULLY ask her parents if you could take her to something (ideally like a concert or some other venue where tickets or reservations are involved) the next time you see them. They obviously can't come if there are only two tickets, or spots available, and it will give you some alone time with her. Just make sure she knows you are going to do it ahead of time so that she can help with the conversation.
2007-09-21 05:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by Kristi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I don't think its a bad thing to have family outings, it is also important that the two of you have some private time if you hope that a relationship develops between the two of you. Maybe this first time the parents coming along would be okay (totally not my style, but I understand that not everyone does things the way I do), but you really should insist on getting to know this girl one on one after this. You can't develop intimacy if someone else is always around, and intimacy is a requirement for a good relationship. And by intimacy, I don't mean physical intimacy, so to speak. I mean on a personal level.
2007-09-21 05:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by kittiesandsparklelythings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems a little strange to read at first, but maybe it's just difficult for them to let the "baby girl" go. Maybe just take it for what it is right now, but for future dates, make a plan that includes just includes the two of you. They may want to get to know the guy that's taking their daughter out.
By the way, I'm pretty conservative, and a little old fashioned too, and it's hard to find a guy that's not into going and partying and drinking every night at this age (21), so good for you that you are one of the "good guys".
Hope everything works out for the best!!!
2007-09-21 05:35:44 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omfg ... talk about control freaks (parents) but no worriez i have a plan 4 u .... 1st off a date with this girl is to show her how you feel about. So if her parent's are there just make sure you sit as close as to the girl as possible and make sure you talk alot to her parent's ask her parent's stuff like ... how did u guy's meet each other ... (get them to talk about themselves)(make sure you ask this over dinner or even lunch) and ask them if they mind if u bring along ur parent's and it could be like a family event ... the chance's are that they won't have a problem with that .... then on the second date (family event) go out and see a movie all 2gether and then go play sum mini-golf and then approach her parent's and ask them "Sir , Ma'am ... If i may ask u sumthing" let them reply it will be more of a yes or ya to reply with such an answer due to the human curiosity and just ask them if they mind staying home next time so you and their daugter can have a nice evening tell them that ur going to take her to a very nice restaurant and that it would mean the world to you if you could spend a date (an actual date with this girl) and you guy's can get better aquitanted <(don't know how 2 spell it ) and tell them after the dinner that ur gonna take her to a romantic movie so they know and tell them that'll you'll have her back back X O'Clock and if it would make them feel better (her parents) that'll you have her call them after the movie and let them know where on the way home.
The few down side's are:
*Controled Child < wat if there parent's tell her to dump you after x years of dating , or even being b/f and g/f wat you think she's going to do ?? > she'll dump you that's wat !!!
**Controlling Parent's < well if you manage to get her parents to allow you to marry her (if everything works out) then they will be calling her all day long and all night long OR maybe they might make you live with them and not allow the two of you to sleep in the same room (Parent's <>Jeez) .
***By the time ur with her she'll more then likely be a toy to her parents(can tell she already is > that's why u must do this quickly > to stop the complet control)
****She will put her parent's 1st then the baby 2nd (if you manage to have one with her) and guess wat ur last.
Now you don't want tat now do ya ?
obtw: she sound's like a mommy and daddy's girl
Hope you didn't take any offense to my suggestions and comments.
2007-09-21 06:22:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why not just ask this woman why it is her parents always seem to have to tag along when you two go out. Guess if that's going to be how it is then you have to ask yourself if this is something you can deal with or not. Guess that's going to depend on how much you like this woman.
It is a little stange though, I mean geez the womans in her late 20's for God's sakes.
Now you have me thinking that maybe this situation is a little weird and I think you might want to "really" and I mean really find out as much as you can about this woman and her "family" life style cause you might not particularly like what your getting into later on down the road. Understand?
2007-09-21 05:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by MLJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should only be worried if her mom and dad are looking to put the moves on you.
Is this the relationship you are looking for right now assuming you are in your mid 20's? it doesnt seem like you will have a very physical relationship with her mom and dad there. And if they are going on dates with her and you then know they will be involved in every aspect of your life even after Marriage.
So if you are looking to get married, not have sex, and live with her parents - then i think you have nothing to worry about. If you want to spend time with her alone you need to explain your feelings to her and she has to make that happen.
Good luck
2007-09-21 05:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by mraandmisse 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so this is the first date. Her parents are probably very protective of their little girl. That's fine. Be a gentleman and be friendly and social (and respectful!) of them. After this first date, though, ask her father if it would be alright by him if you took his daughter out on your own sometime. Since this is a conservative family you're dealing with, the head of the family probably wants to be consulted and holds to the idea that the man should come to him to ask for permission to see his daughter. That's fine. So ask, respectfully. If he shies away from the idea, ask him what you can do to earn his trust, and gently remind him that his daughter is an adult.
Good luck on your date.
2007-09-21 05:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by SOS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋