Me and this guy I have been seeing have been just having a lot of problems mainly because I can't trust him, but I don't know how to trust him. He texted me the other day, "Cause we make it that way. (hard) I wanna be with you more than anything , thats all that should matter. I've totally fallin for you." How do I trust this? Can I trust this? Should I trust this?
2007-09-21 05:21:27 · 17 answers · asked by confuseddisneygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don trust. im a man. i can say men sud nt b trusted. we cn fool n only fool d gals. ha ha ha. dnt b fooled we jst act as we care
2007-09-21 05:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are aware that one of the factors that caused problems to your relationship is you can't trust him, then you will never at all even if he tell you the truth and mean what he say. You have to verify the cause why you can't trust and find ways to rectify it and get things right, otherwise scepticism can lead to many unhappiness and your relationship will never be productive. Although you didn't specify the reason why you don't trust him, but everyone deserves a chance and a benefit of the doubt. If you want a healthy relationship, you have to first trust yourself and continue trusting . Unless, he don't deserve it. At time it's not a matter of few words that count but the integrity.
2007-09-21 12:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by boonji86 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think it's really important here to get to the bottom of why you don't/can't trust him. if it's because of the way he acts (always flirting with other woman, ...) or because of his past (perhaps he cheated on his previous girl and is this why you don't trust him?) you may have a reason not to trust him. i recommend you talk about this. but you cannot bring it up in a way that's accusing towards him: don't say "are you going to cheat on me like you did on your other girl" or something like that. don't use the "you"-phrases, that's way to confronting, you make him feel cornered. instead, say: "sometimes i sort of get afraid of losing you to another girl, you do still care about me, right?". this is using the "i"-phrases. it doesn't corner him because you're just saying what you think/feel.
also, i do have to say that it can get quite old if you keep on asking him whether he still loves you, whether he's not going to cheat, ... you have to start somewhere with trusting him.
if this lack of trust is not his fault, but actually comes from your own insecurities or even previous relationships with other men, you should try to work through this mainly on your own. in this case, he isn't the reason of your issues with trust. don't make him carry part of your emotional bagage. you can bring up the reason why you sometimes don't trust people (in general!! again, don't say "i don't trust you" = cornering him) so he knows he may have to reassure you, but do not MAKE him help you deal with his, because it's not his fault (if he wants to though, fine)
a lot of people will say "no love without trust, get out of this relationship". personally i prefer to say: if he's worth it, first try to work your way through, then see what happens!!
good luck girl!!
2007-09-21 12:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you cant trust him, then why are you with him. You need to evaluate whether or not if you have trust issues with men, or trust issues with him. If he was a cheater before then no you shouldnt trust him very quickly, but if he has done nothing wrong then why not trust what he said.
2007-09-21 12:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You either trust him, or you don't. If you have a reason for distrust, examine whether you want to continue your relationship. If you don't have a reason for distrust (and past history with other people doesn't count!) then you should trust him.
Relationships are based on truth, love and trust. If you don't have trust, you have a relationship to build still!
2007-09-21 12:27:48 · answer #5 · answered by Shadowydreamer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you really want to be with this guy,talk to him and explain to him the type of loving,trusting relationship you need.if he agrees he can be the type of man you want,let him tell you in person so that you can see if he seems sincere.but do not be sexually intimate with him until your completly sure you can trust him.he may say anything for this reason so test it out for a while and quietly take notes to see if he's changed and for the right reasons.if not then just move on.
2007-09-21 12:44:49 · answer #6 · answered by onlinedesire 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
others don't... like me because i want to make sure that she feels the same way as i do... theres nothing to do with trust if you will not give him a chance .... for me its useless! try to decide your feelings as soon as possible if you want it to happen say yes.. if not say no.. otherwise you feel regret that its too late to love this person. if he is worth deserving tell it now.. dont let him feel that you will give him only hope that you are using him to be an option... otherwise it will not work out
2007-09-21 12:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by blue_prince23 P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are totally paranoid. Of course a guy will tell you that he's falling for you if he really has. Has he done anything that has made him untrustworthy? If not, you need to lay off or you're gonna lose him.
2007-09-21 12:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by smellyfoot ™ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course guys admit it. I don't know if he has done something else to make you not trust him, but if he hasn't, I would believe him.
2007-09-21 12:26:56 · answer #9 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Been burned before? Trust seems to be YOUR real issue. Is it him or everyone? Loosen up a bit and live! ;-)=
2007-09-21 12:29:02 · answer #10 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋