I've left my husband because for almost six years he's been verbally abusive towards me infront of my child because, I allow my ex to come into our home when he's picking up his daughter. He also gets angry because when I have a party for my daughter, I let my little girls dad and family attend. he says it's not right i let my little girls family come to our home because by doing that I'm disrespecting him. He wants me to take my little girl outside the house if her dad wants to see her and hates it when he calls or any member of my ex's family calls to find out how she is. I don't want my little girl growing up knowing i've allowed my husband to brake the bond she has with her rael dad. Is he right in doing this?
2007-09-21 04:44:55 · 13 answers · asked by Lin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're doing the right thing and I have to applaud the fact that you are on good terms with your ex and his family. That is what is best for your daughter and that's the most important thing. You are setting a good example for her. Pat yourself on the back, a lot of parents put the kids in the middle.
2007-09-21 05:14:16 · answer #1 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your child's emotions come first. She has a FATHER! She had him before your husband...If he married you knowing you had a child, he needs to be a bit more understanding about the emotional needs of that child. Obviously he doesn't care about her and is being selfish. Maybe it would be better NOT to have members of his family at your home, and going out certainly is a nice idea (you can leave him home). If your daughter has a close relationship with her real father's family then she deserves to have that bond. Tell your hubby to grow up! He is being selfish and insecure and is hurting you and your daughter.
2007-09-21 12:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by chefddr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were right because the one thing your husband was not doing was considering the feelings of your little girl. She's innocent of anything he is (wrongly) accusing you of in terms of respect. Anyway. He was being selfish. How were you disrespecting him by allowing your ex into the house? Its your home too. Is he not a big enough man to look after his own dignity? Sounds like a bit of a control freak, insecure and weak. Verbal abuse in front of your little girl (Any physical abuse in private? I'm guessing probably) will make her grow up thinking it is normal to be abused, she will be in danger of it in her adult life. You were totally right, well done you for seeing it and getting out.
2007-09-21 11:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by Wonderwoman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he isn't "right" and I'm sorry to hear that someone so sensible as yourself has ended up with someone so immature, jealous and controlling.
He has a lot of growing up to do and he needs to overcome his insecurities.
You could sit down with him and lay some "ground rules" so communication is open. He doesn't sound like the sort who is up for working things through so you will have to state how things are going to be and take it from there.
If it were his child, he would most likely wonder why someone in his position would behave in such an odd manner.
2007-09-21 11:55:23 · answer #4 · answered by KD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course your doing the right thing. your daughter deserves to have contact with her dad and by making him wait outside will make her think that her father is below the rest of you and make her have less respect for him. Your current husband is a bully and you did the right think leaving him. Well done!
2007-09-21 11:53:45 · answer #5 · answered by scrabs11 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing.
Your daughter did not ask to be born of you and her dad. And the fact that you can remain on civil terms with him and his family is a credit to both of you.
Obviously your husband is not mature enough to understand, nor accept that he has a different role to play in her life.
2007-09-21 11:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not allow him to rule your life i understand you are married to this guy and you love him but he has to understand that you and your ex have a daughter together and he has no right to tell you that
i think you are doing the right thing because you allowing your ex to have contact with her and not cutting him off because she will only use this against you in the future
2007-09-21 12:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is insecure and controlling. This is not fair on you or the child involved. Try to talk to him and if he is still aggressive it is no place to be.........he is not right to break the bond of a child and father...tehre is room in her heart for both of them if only he were grown up enough to see that.
2007-09-21 16:37:09 · answer #8 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he has no right whatsoever, my mum and dad broke up when i was only young and i respect the fact that not once did my mum ever stop me from seeing my dad or be nasty towards him when i was around or make silly demands as to how i could see him, your husband needs to realise that he is not the priority in this relationship your little girl is and what your little girl needs most is as much 'normality' regarding her mum and dad as possible!
xx
2007-09-21 11:51:33 · answer #9 · answered by Izzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no hes not right. he should be man enough to suck it up and let the father do what he has to do..... if anything he should be happy that the father is taking care of his little girl because most men dont attempt to do so. but you were totally right to have left him.
2007-09-21 11:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by TNQE H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋