17. When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.
16. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
15. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
14. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
13. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
11. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several hundred rounds to kill them, so be prepared!
10. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
9. When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.
8. Do not take *anything* from the dead.
7. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
6. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
5. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
4. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
2. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value your life.*
and last but not least...
1. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away!
2007-09-21 04:18:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
star if funny
2007-09-21 04:20:49 · update #1
ha ha ha funny
2007-09-21 04:41:46 · answer #1 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Incorporate this information and advice into film and you will have a HIT for Halloween. Wasn't that what Scary Movie 1 through 3 was about?
2007-09-21 11:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by Justwishin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny!
2007-09-21 11:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think someone needs to get out of the house juse a little bit more
2007-09-21 11:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by jim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved all of them and a star from me. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.
2007-09-21 11:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like you are bringing halloween around sooner this year. hahahaha
2007-09-21 12:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by Black 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
interesting but not funny.
good effort tho
xxx
2007-09-21 12:33:44 · answer #7 · answered by Honeybee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha nice one lol
2007-09-21 12:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Sparky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too long and it aint even halloween yet.
2007-09-21 11:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think thats some really good advicce lol
and they are all really true !!
2007-09-21 11:28:46 · answer #10 · answered by cher 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋