A fellow employee went to a funeral yesterday. Catholic lady passes away. Member of the same Catholic Church for all her life. Priest is up there giving his eulogy & stops & says to the coffin "now what's your name again?". Skips over it, & continues on. She told us this this morning. It reminded me of that new commercial where the guy is new & answering the phone with his paperwork in front of him & says "hello, my name is - fill in the blanks".
The family were furious that after all the time as a member of that church, the priest didn't even remember their mother's name. She was just a body in a pew & money in the collection plate it seems.
I'm not Catholic. I grew up a Baptist. The people that we went to church with all knew each other as did the minister. It was like a huge family. The minister came to the hospital when people were in there & even came to the house to check up on you.
2007-09-21 04:03:27 · 28 answers · asked by lilith663 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I know Catholic Churches have a large numbner of people coming for mass at all diff times. Seems a little less personal to me than other churches. I need to know I'm an individual, not just one of the masses.
2007-09-21 04:05:19 · update #1
Just thought of this, even if this priest was not her normal priest, one would think he would have taken some time to research something about the lady? We had a neighbor die & his mother had a New Age type of minister give the eulogy. She was great. She used his name all the time just like she had known him for years, telling stories about him she had learned from talking to friends & relatives. Had us all in tears.
2007-09-21 04:07:29 · update #2
To adnilcomplicate - FYI, I am at work and on my 20 min break so get off your high horse and just answer the question.
To Granny Annie - did I condem the Catholic Church anywhere? Told a story told to me about what actually happened at the funeral and asked what you would do? It doesn't matter how busy this priest is - God/Jesus would see each person as an individual wouldn't he. Aren't these priests/ministers, etc. working for God? They should take the time and treat each person as they deserve - as an individual, not as one of 9 or 10 funerals they have to deal with in a day.
2007-09-21 05:02:26 · update #3
I was at a Catholic funeral recently where the priest knew the couples' names, and much about them and also let two clergy from other churches speak. The priest your friend heard truly messed up - in a truly rude and hurtful way. This priest messed up, it was not the general attitude of the Catholic Church, or clergy.
Therefore, anyone interested in this -- you, your friend, and others -- should write, and/or phone (or even visit -- if anyone's motivated enough) and complain about this incident. This priest and the other clergy who decide about priest assignments, need to hear loud and clear that this was hurtful and must not happen again.
By the way, your childhood Baptist church sounds wonderful -- the way it should be! Let's all try to make our communities more supportive and caring!
2007-09-21 04:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by eatcarrots 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As a Catholic I am ashamed that this priest had the audacity to say that during a funeral mass. Unfortunately, the Catholic churches are not as personable as the other denominations. However, regardless of the size of the church, denomination, whether the person came to mass or not, this just was not called for. He should have had a slip of paper with her name on it. Many people left the Catholic church for reasons such as this and the other more well know cases of molestation. This would prompt me and my family to go to another parish. That's a disgrace!
2007-09-21 11:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Angelina N 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset.
I was raised Catholic (non practicing now). At my grandmother's funeral, I went up to get communion. The priest yelled at me because I put out my hand for the wafer (which is acceptable) instead of just opening my mouth. He went off, asking me if I was a "real Catholic", if I had ever gotten communion. It was awful.
I don't know if it has to do with being Catholic, it's just that some people have no tact.
2007-09-21 11:14:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be deeply offend. The priest could have written the name down, he could have carried up an "in memory "card. His behavior was unprofessional, and either he was trying to punish the family for not coming to church or he is a Bozo. I suspect that is why people move away from coming to churches. I go to church and would be mortified if my priest who is an episcopalian behaved in such a way.
2007-09-21 11:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by Mh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't only happen to Catholics. My aunt attended a Bethel church and at her funeral the pastor called her by the wrong name several times. I was rather ticked off that, at the very least, he didn't even take the time to check her name.
2007-09-21 11:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by OPad 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset too! I grew up in a Catholic church, and I know that they change the priest every couple of years, but if someone is there every Sunday and involved in anything they should know them. I know in H.S. ours knew all of us in the Youth Group and we def. weren't giving them money...most of us were showing up cuz we had too. There's no excuse unless he was new in the past few months and she was sick and not there...but still u think you would know who u were doing a funeral for!
2007-09-21 11:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree. That is a sad comentary....on THAT priest.
Now try this on for size. My parish has more than 5,600 families. That's more than 20,000 people of all ages, several ethnic groups and every income level. Now I bet you come from somewhere where there are more people than that. And even if you don't, you tell me who they are. Especially if you only see them once a week, for an hour, in a group of several hundred others. Being a member doesn't mean that you're around more than at Mass time.
Unless you people can do better, shaddup with the criticism.
Enter this thought into your minds as well. She may have been only one of several funerals, weddings, baptisms, etc. celebrated that week. That poor priest is probably working a 90 hour week and while he should have noted her name on a piece of paper and brought it with him (crib sheet, pastoral style), he didn't. Get over it!
You guys would crucify Christ. Oh! That's right, we DID! For our sins. Hmmmmmmm
2007-09-21 11:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by Granny Annie 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Funeral sermons, eulogies can be difficult. That said, the one thing you for sure have to know is of course, the NAME!
Who knows? Maybe it was a "private joke" he enjoyed with that person, still, it would have been wise NOT to do that sort of thing then and there.
2007-09-21 11:11:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds loving compared to the preacher giving the eulogy saying the deceased is going to Hell for committing suicide.
Yep, that happened.
2007-09-21 11:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, he only saw her as another quick buck. i can easily see why the family would be so upset. if this did happen to me, i'd find myself a new church with a priest who had class.
2007-09-21 11:10:26 · answer #10 · answered by Randall P. McMurphy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋