My wife does not like many of her brothers and sisters. But she still gets together with them on Holidays and family activities. She has a cold and strange family. Talking to them about their differences does not do any good.
We dread these family get togethers. No one has any interest in us and what we have to say. The conversation is forced, boring and cruel. I ask my wife why we must see these people so much and she replies, because they are my family.
Would you get together with your family members if you did not like them?
2007-09-21 03:50:26 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My brother and I have never gotten along. We see each other maybe once a year for a couple of houes and are cordial during that once a year visit. This has been going on since we grew up and left our parents house 20 years ago. Some families are close and some are not. If your lives have taken you in different directions and you only get together for the sake of "getting together", it's not worth it. You end up holding on to more resentment. Spend your holidays with people you ENJOY being around. You can't be happy in a room full of people who make you miserable. Save it for the funerals when you HAVE to be together, you're already miserable then.
2007-09-21 04:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If my family was distant and unpleasant, probably not. I'm lucky though to have the quite the opposite. My brother and I live in the same city and we usually get together about once a week, my parents come in from out of state around 6 times a year, sometimes more and they always come to my place for Christmas. My first cousins are all spread out now and we don't get to see each other often, but we are always and email/instant message/phone call away.
2007-09-21 05:55:39 · answer #2 · answered by Kazama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, they have the same mother and father (I'm assuming). I have a similar situation in my family. The ones that I like and respect, I talk to, the ones I don't, I don't talk to, unless I have to.
The ones that disrepect me or my wife, get slammed, just like if they weren't my siblings. When I was young and my family was young, my sisters thought that they had some reason to comment on my 'whatever'. I let them know right quick that I love them but they will not throw all social convention out the window just because they think they have some right to do so.
I think you will find a little standing up for yourself will bring some intersting results, at least it will make the conversations less forced and boring.
2007-09-21 04:35:36 · answer #3 · answered by robert s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are still family. Every family has diffrences. My husbands family was being cruel to me at first untill my husband just told them if you cant be or say anything nice or keep from putting her down we will stop coming. I know it is easier with it being his family and not mine, but it worked. In this situatuion if your wife still wants to go, go, but be there for her. That is the best thing you can do. If there are some that's okay converstae with them. Start a conversation such as I hear you got a new job how is it going, things like that were you are not being the one getting everything asked about.
2007-09-21 05:11:28 · answer #4 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blood is thicker than water, so they say. A family is family no matter how harsh they may be.Getting together on Christmas Holidays will somehow ease the tension of family differences. Anyway, if it were just once a year, then, I think it would not be too much of a burden. Just try to be nice and accommodating to everyone.
2007-09-21 04:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by Reycen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would personally recommend everyone should be keeping in touch with their siblings. I had the misfortune to have lost my eldest sister a few yrs back. Very sudden. She lived in the UK and I live in NZ.
Hadn't seen her for 9 yrs. My husband & I invited her and the family to our upcoming marriage. She declined because of her weekly shopping. I was furious to say the least. Everybody else just changed their activities for just that one day, so to say the least we left the UK 2yrs later without ever seeing my sister again. When I got the news she had passed away, naturally I was devestated and just remember screaming that we hadn't made our differences up. Believe me life is too short to not be on speaking terms with your siblings. My sister wasn't even 60. Remember one thing, on the gatherings just stay cool, polite and all will be over within a few hours. That's not much to ask. Just wish I could turn the clock back. Nothing will bring my sister back. It's taken me yrs to get over her death. Good luck.
2007-09-21 04:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by smiggy54 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every morning I wake up and thank God I can pick my friends.
Even though these family gatherings are uncomfortable, it's still a good idea to go. Instead of dreading them, do your best to enjoy the disfunction! It can be a real hoot when you stand back and watch all the games and dynamics associated with these type of situations.
When faced with this type of gathering, I make darn sure I consider the source of every comment made, and don't take them personally.
Hats off to you for suffering fools, as well as your dedication to your wife. It shows strength of character on your part. As you and your wife pull away from the next gathering, you may want to discuss the idiocy of it all and have a good laugh. It might give you something to look forward to the next time you have to go to one of these things.
2007-09-21 04:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by wentfishing2 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
With 7 siblings left in our family, we do see each other, but sometimes it's only once in two or three years. Believe me, if she doesn't keep some contact, she will regret it if something happens to one. I've resorted to e-mail to at least keep the family ties alive and it's much more civil and friendlier than getting together and everyone being on edge.
2007-09-21 03:59:50 · answer #8 · answered by dawnUSA 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hi i have 5 brothers and sisters and i am the eldest ,i feel like i have nothing in common with the younger ones , i am quite close to my 2 sisters but to be honest if i had to see them every day i would hate it ,sometimes i do feel like an outsider in my family especially when i see my parents whom live 50 miles away and because my brothers live near them they are always there with their families i dont get a look in and that saddens me cause my dad doesnt have long to live , they all act like great buddies and i do get jealous , last christmas my brother decided to buy everyones kids ....except mine i was there we all were and that ruined my christmas he could have said something , i have learnt my lesson this christmas gonna be just me , my husband and our 4 kids , we will see some of the family ...but on our terms.xx
2007-09-21 04:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a brother who I really don't speak to unless he is visiting my parents with his family. Even then it is merely civil. The only good part of that situation is they only visit about once every 3 - 5 years, so it's not all that bad.
Get along with my other bro's and their families just great and we always have a great time.
2007-09-21 03:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by Choqs 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋