My boyfriend is a very defensive person and tends to feel like I am criticizing him when I am not. I realized that it is probably a defense mechanism because he is insecure about himself. He has a deformity on his body that no one knows about and I know he is ashamed of. I think it has affected his sense of self-worth and esteem internally. I would like to help build his self-esteem so that he feels he is a good, valuable person even if he has the deformity. What is the best way to go about doing this?
He is also going to get a surgery in the next few weeks to correct the deformity, though it won't correct it 100%. I am not sure how to handle the emotional/mental changes that will occur in him and our relationship after his surgery, nor do I know what to expect. Any advice for that as well?
2007-09-21 03:42:50 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
He has a chest formation deformity. He is able to hide it from the public with his clothes. So no one knows about it except him, his mother, some of his family probably, and me.
2007-09-21 04:06:16 · update #1
I hope the surgery helps your boyfriend.
If he has issues, then he needs to face them, and get the help he deserves... sometimes therapy works wonders, but we can't force another person to get help. they have to WANT help, and be willing to do the work it takes to develop good coping and life skills.
take care.
2007-09-21 04:17:50 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would help to know WHAT deformity we're talking about. Different types of "deformities" will have different mental impacts, and therefore different ways to treat it.
2007-09-21 10:52:23 · answer #2 · answered by aarjop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋