How can I get my 8 year old to stop talking in class?

Question

My 8 year old daughter is mostly a good kid. Sometimes she whines and she can be mouthy on occasion, but all in all she's pretty good. I am a single parent... I do what I can.

The teacher says my daughter is very bright but she needs her full attention... she is talking constantly in class. She's had this problem in school from the beginning, but it's affecting her grades more now that she has more work to do and more to learn. I don't really know how to convince her how important it is to do well in school. I have a hard time getting her to do her work at home, sitting at the dining room table all by herself... she'll sit there and sing and talk to herself. I'm constantly getting onto her. Yesterday I told her if she didn't improve, she would not be praticipating in Girl Scouts or Cheerleading this year. Does anyone have any other suggestions??

I will not be putting my child on any kind of drugs... and none of her teachers have ever suggested it. We do not have soda or many sweets in the home. She may be bored, but I really don't think she needs to be in any advanced classes, (she is failing math). When tested she scores slightly above average in reading, but in everything else her scores are average.

I do think that positive reinforcement is a better way to approach the matter. I'm very grateful for all your advice. Thanks so much!! : )

Answer 1

Hello 1Voice:

My son has some of the same challenges. Check your daughter's diet; is she getting too much sugar? Some children (although the food industry vehemently denies it) are allergic to MSG. It is not a naturally occurring compound and some people cannot handle it. This may be triggering your daughter's episodes. MSG is in all prepared foods, even the stuff from fast food restaurants.

If you are on a decent health insurance, have your daughter tested for allergies. Allergic reactions can manifest as ADHD behavior.

As others have said, positive rewards are better than negative punishment. Keep her in cheer and Scouts, find other rewards when she acts appropriately in school. Have her help you decide what the rewards will be.

Answer 2

I have been dating someone for about 3 years now and she has a 7 year old son. When he first started school he had the same problem...he just wouldn't stop talking in class and being very disruptive. We would take things from him such as tv, games, etc...it worked a little but didn't stop the problem. We talked to his teacher, and from what we could understand, it seemed that he was bored in school and wasn't challenged enough to keep his attention. We put him in some advanced classes...advanced for a 5 and 6 year old... and what an improvement we saw. We carried that over in the home, and he is a different child. He now loves to read...reading at an advanced level, and we also keep him involved with sports which helps a great deal as well. Give some of this a try and see how it works for you...Good Luck

Answer 3

It's really hard to contain a natural, gregarious, social butterfly. My teachers would bring that person to the front of the class in order to help that person focus. At home, set a timer for 10 minutes. Tell her to concentrate on her work (no singing, talking to herself, etc.) until the bell goes off. Then she can do stuff as she wants. Extend the time about 5 minutes every week. Pretty soon, you should be able to get her to concentrate for 30-45 minutes (which is as long as most adults can do, anyway).

They have cheerleading in gradeschool now? I'd certainly encourage her to do that rather than punish by withdrawing it. That's a great outlet for her personality.

Answer 4

You and I have the same problem. My daughter talked in class so much that the teacher wrote it down on her mid-term report card as "your daughter needs to control her chatter for lunch time and recess. She finishes her work quickly and distracts the other children with conversation. Talking to her about this problem would be greatly appreciated." So, we sat her down and spoke to her about being a 'chatterbox' and guess what? It did no good! I believe that with time comes understanding and the ability to control the habit. Maybe when your daughter sees that her talking is causing her to fail, the terror of possibly repeating a grade will be enough to galvanize her into doing something about her chatter. I think it is a good idea to take away extra-curricular activities so that she can focus more on school. In the meantime, perhaps you could have some kind of contest with her. You could ask her to not talk for 1/2 an hour and if she succeeds, she gets a quarter. This teaches her that silence can be golden and patience is rewarded. You may have to get creative and gear it towards things she likes. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Part of the problem is the school system. There's just not enough uninterupted time for a child to express themselves. Before you listen to anyone about ADD and putting your child on medication, I would consider changing her diet, maybe taking out the sugar and fruit juice drinks, do some type of outdoor exercising with her and get her in the habit of sitting down right after school to finish her work before TV or anything. I don't like to take things away that they enjoy for punishment. Just get a nightly ritual down and at least you can show her how important it is to do her school work. That may change how she acts in school. Jennifer

Answer 6

It's a possibility that your daughter is bored. The teacher needs to challenge her more. Today's teachers are lazy and want these perfect little children to sit quietly and learn. Your daughter should not be punished because she is smart. Ask the teacher to give her some extra things to do. Maybe she can help out with the other students that are not learning a quickly. This will reward her for being smart not punish her because the teacher can't keep up.

Answer 7

Negative reinforcement is NOT the way to go. Instead, when you see her doing something that she's supposed to do, reward her then. She may just need some kind of background noise to help her along. Try some classical music to stimulate her grey matter and she will begin to improve. Good luck with her!

Answer 8

Ok this is hard also on YOU and her. Moreso on you I imagine. Now as for school I'm sure they punish her with letting YOU know it has to stop. Maybe she needs to be moved to another class? (just a thought) or moved to an area that she can concentrate without others around. (my son is this way). As for her work, I personally let my son do his homework with a snack and its "whereever" he wants to. If if's on a pillow in the floor, his desk in his room, his bed..where ever he wants to, but nothing moves or shakes until its done. I would let your child know (because she's 8 and knows already) that if she wants to use HER time not doing her homework then there's no time but for bath and bed. That's it. Let her know...like this, "if you would rather sit there and not do your work then I have no choice but to let you know that you are using up YOUR time, not mine" and then leave her alone. Let her play at the table, talk to herself and once she sees you aren't falling for the routine of hounding her to get it done then she might see that you are going on with YOUR life and she'll get tired of this and start doing her work so she can have some fun. Something about sitting at the table in the kitchen just doesn't seem very appealing, not to kids anyway. I actually put on classical music in my sons room and he usually gets it done...his thing: he likes having a snack with homework and I don't mind. Final note: you say things about not letting her participate unless she improves...just remember that once you say something like this you need to stick to it. It might just take you NOT letting her do these things in order to rein her back in. Grades not good. Priviledges must go until she can prove she really wants to do these things. Since it's affecting her grades I would halt any extra activities. But that's just me. School in our home comes first. I do wish you best of luck with this.

Answer 9

Hi 1voice!

You might try talking to her pediatrician about ADHD. Recent research has found that girls display ADHD in different ways than boys. It is not uncommon for girls with ADHD to talk constantly. This is not to say that ALL girls who are constantly talking have ADHD, but some of the other things, such as being whiney, mouthy and having a hard time doing homework by herself, together with her talking during classtime, may be a sign.

It wouldn't hurt to check it out.

Answer 10

I'm not a child pyschologist, but I say leave her be. She probably has a lot to say. Perhaps introduce her to WRITING out her expression, thus she might talk less.

I was once a child who loved to talk, but then the big people started to tell me to shut up and I think that stunted my communication skills. That's my two cents. Best wishes.

EDIT: I think what devon1754 and theosharatos said made really good sense.

What is up with the thumbs down!! I think what I said is positive. This is what I get for helping? Whatever. :(