Why are very attractive, well-educated women intimidating?

Question

I am a very attractive attorney who can't seem to get a date. I am physically fit - 5'3" tall and weight in at 132 pounds. Most people find me very funny and tell me I am very easy going, down to earth, and never let anything bother me. Men flirt constantly but they don't ask me out and when I ask them out, they seem to want to dance around with the idea. Do men find well-educated females intimidating or are we off limits for some secret reason? I had a guy tell me once that he didn't think he was up to my standards.

DB Cooper, you're an idiot! It's men like you that make it bad for other men. I was widowed 2 years ago. I'm not in my 40's. I'm one of those young women you think you can get. You overcompensate for other shortcomings I'm sure and don't want a woman with any experience - that way you don't have to worry about being compared. Do the world and favor and stop trying to be a street therapist. It was a simple question that didn't need your apparent attempt at insults to compensate for your stupidity.

Answer 1

Many men can not handle a woman who can be a symbol of power. For most, they want a woman to look up to them for their needs and wants. It's more of an insecurity for most men than it is you. I or one really enjoy a woman of high education and intelligence. Sometimes too, if you are extremely hot, many men will automatically think you are taken because of your outward appearance.

Answer 2

because they judge you as being out of their league. Men are known to be the provider in relationships and how can they if the woman is already wearing those shoes. Not to say that you shouldn't be independent because it's a great thing. However, some guys can't handle the woman making more money than them or have an education past them because they feel that the woman should be a class below them lest they feel like less of a man. Another thing is, men who have dated women that were attractive and well-educated found themselves being constantly belittled by such women and have a bad impression of them, they also warn other men about such women. It's very complicated, but with patience and a man that can accept you as you are, you should be ok.

Answer 3

guys who are intimidated lack their own self-esteem. I've dated very attractive women even though I'm just an average guy with no special talents. I like to have fun and get a little crazy, but I don't exactly turn heads when I walk into a club. But I've never been afraid to approach a hot woman and found that while some can be materialistic and not give me the time of day...I've met some really fun woman and some I've dated. But I do like to be "met half-way." So don't be afraid to approach a guy. That may be all the guy needs to get over those insecurities.

Answer 4

When looking at the opposite sex, some feel that they are too good for me or i'm too goood for them. I dont see that as a case. I have an awsome job an awsome house and drive a nice car. To me that doesnt mean everything, yes its nice but thats materialistic stuff. I still cant find a nice girl to settle down with.

Now i've found that depends where you go lookign for a girl is what type you will find. Go to a bar on the South side you going to find a south side girl/guy not that its a bad thing, you might not be from that side of town, so you dont know how things are done, so there for you wont really understand.

Guys are intimidated yes, becasue you could be a beautiful woman, but they have the charm, the words everythign to be the most romantic awsome person, but looks wasnt his strong side. So there for that goes down the drain.

So i would say, contact me lets chat, and see what happens..LOL...N e Ways, try going to a upsacale bar in the NICE area of town, you will find a guy that has a good job and can take care of him self.

Answer 5

I think I have found out that sometimes some women (this may not apply to you) have a ego the size of their shadow, and they feel very dominant to the point where the man cannot feel like a man.

I know a girl who is this way, and I too am very educated, and I actually have had men wanting to go out with me, and I have currently been in a relationship with my man for four years.

Another thing can be an educated woman may want a man who is equally educated or a step above them, that is where we go wrong, this is how we get the "arrogant, goody two shoes, bitchy" stat.

No, my man did not graduate from college, but he is well maintained and brings home enough to pay the bills, and take care of my expendable needs.

We, as educated women have to stop putting on the "too good for you" attitude, and live in reality.

Answer 6

Yes I believe some men are intimidated by a successful woman. Men want to be the ones w/the good job and etc. From what your saying it has nothing to do w/ how you look and I congratulate you on you success as a woman I am a stay at home mom whil;e my husband works so 2 thumbs up to you. When you hear the words attorney men think she is high maintence I would never live up to her standards but you know what those men are missing out on what a great person you are and should be more than happy to date you. You never knopw some of them might have criminal records and dont want you to prosecute them just kidding! Keep on trying you will find a man you isnt intimidated by you good luck!

Answer 7

We assume that if we have a relationship with you, we are going to have some stiff competition. We think that attractive girls get a lot of attention, (you even said so yourself) and that they can have any guy they want. Take me for example. I'm a descent looking guy, I have a muscular build, and I'm funny, easy going, and down to earth just like you. But I'm a technician at an Aerospace company. I don't live in the same world as you. If I were in a relationship with you, I'd begin to feel a little insecure. You live in a world where there are a lot of highly successful men. Good looking, nice clothes, nice car, and a higher standard of living than what I could ever afford. Then there would be my world. Average people, jeans and tee-shirts, average car, average, average, average. When you would go to work, I'd know that you will be surrounded by any number of men who can provide a better life for you than I could. I'd feel insecure not because of the fact that you are beautiful and successful, but because I know that you deserve better than me, and every day that is within your reach. Then add the fact that you are an accomplished woman to that. I don't know if this applies to you, but accomplished women tend to come off as a force to be reckoned with. They're highly opinionated, and without meaning to, they treat men like they're stupid. They don't even have to say anything to communicate that. It's the, "I'm smarter than you and I know it" look on their faces. Men don't particularly want to rush into a situation where they are going to be perceived as being inferior.

Hope that helps.

Answer 8

This is just me speaking, so I don't claim to represent all men, but I think you have a couple of things working against you (don't worry it's not like you're doing anything wrong). My take is that there are really two types of guys; one type doesn't want an attractive and intelligent woman - they see women as something to be seen, not heard (I hate this type of neanderthal). The second type is the type I fall into. We are the type that are overwhelmed by the thought of being rejected by a beautiful and intelligent woman. We won't admit this of course, but if you meet a guy who appears aloof, he's probably this type. Somehow we feel we won't measure up when you get to know us (just like the guy you mentioned). Better to be the one to do the rejecting rather than be rejected, I suppose. I'm a little puzzled by the reaction you get when you ask them out. I would jump at that chance. That's how my wife hooked me, and I consider her beautiful and intelligent. I will admit that it's probably a challenge to find a guy who is diverse enough to enjoy discussing current events, going to the ballet, antiquing, or just sitting around talking, there are not many in my circle of friends, but they are out there - just be patient. I assure you, there is no secret code that you're off limits, and you're doing just fine.

Answer 9

Are you sure it is only about intimidation?
I would not think twice about dating an attractive attorney if I had the opportunity.

But it might be something else.
Not all men... nor all women have self confidence like you do. Only a strong self confident man would take you on.

Men don't want to be toy boys. And unless they are at least as strong as you... they know they won't be wearing the trousers. They simply don't want to find themselve in that situation because it is bad for their ego.

You need to look for men in the same class than you. And in most cases... it will be someone older than you. Because men take longer to grow up. Some of us never grow up. We like to be teenagers all our life. Women take life too seriously. lol

Answer 10

i hate to say it but i really do think its the intimidating factor.

Men like to be the hero in the story and know that they can give something to the lady that they need; so maybe dropping your guard and showing a bit of vulnerability would make all the difference.

I dont know how you go about it normally but taking the long root and making a friends with a guy you like first might be the way to go. The exterior might be a little scarey, but once they get to know you you'll show your different layers and they won't be so afraid.

Compatibility wise i'd suggest going after people who are on your intellectual and class level as well, that really just qualifies the whole "he likes to be in control" thing but unless a guy thinks he has something to offer you they may well be afraid!

Answer 11

Attorneys are intimidating in general to some people. I think powerful women are intimidating to most of us. But there are some who it doesn't bother. i don't know why you would get turned down if you ask a man out though.