im 23 and i have been going out with this guy for 5 months. He wants to have a baby with me or marry me. i have a nice job and i think i'll be able to sustain a baby or to wed but honestly, im not ready with either one of those. i tried explaining to him but he seems not to get my reasoning. I love him and i dont want to lose him. What can i do? he really does treat me nice.
2007-09-21 03:25:01 · 13 answers · asked by fine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you don't love him.
something someone told me long long time ago, and i laughed it off when i first heard it, but now i look back and it kinda sticks... "if a woman loves a man, she'd want 10 kids with him, no matter how old, no matter what the circumstances are"
if you loved him, nothing else matters.
you don't love him.
2007-09-21 03:31:23 · answer #1 · answered by James 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you he will understand that 5 months really isnt enough time for any two people to be ready enough to have a baby and get married. It's not like you a 34 years old and is running out of time to have a baby. You are just 23 and if he cant wait for your needs, find someone who does. I dont mean to pass judgements but if you have already sat down with him and explained to him whats up and he is still not willing to wait, then I say go for it because you deserve someone that will wait.
2007-09-21 03:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a big commitment....children is a HUGE commitment. It is perfectly logical, and admirable, that you do not feel ready for such a huge step only 5 months in. If this man truly cares for you, he will understand your desire to proceed cautiously and not rush into things. Marriages that are too hasty mostly end up divorced or annuled...and I doubt either of you want that. Listen to your heart, and your head, and wait it out. I strongly believe that you don't completely know someone after 1 year of togetherness...much less 5 months!
2007-09-21 03:30:28 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you he needs to understand and respect that you want to wait for whatever reason that might be. I mena to be honest , if a guy you've only been dating for 5 months already wants to have a baby with you and or marry sounds like he's trying to find a way to make sure there is an attacthment there that keeps you connected to him. Good and bad. May mean insecurity or it may mean he just really wants to be with you. In my opinion...wait before you are in that kind of commitment. Date a little longer and make sure this is what you really want. Good Luck
2007-09-21 03:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by SgS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your guy respects you, he will respect your wishes.
I had a boyfriend who treated me nicely too; however it was because he had ulterior motives -- just like your guy does.
If you do not want a child or marriage right now, then don't do either. You will just end up miserable.
These are huge life choices... and don't say "yes" to a huge life choice or change for which you are unprepared.
You don't have to go on and on explaining "why' to the guy. say NO and leave it at that. if he doesn't like it, tough tomatoes!! It's YOUR life, your body, your decision.... don't let other people control you.
And if push comes to shove, losing him would be better than ending up living a miserable life because you made bad choices.
2007-09-21 03:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five months is still considered too early to marry your boyfriend as the relationship is still not yet mature enough to consider marriage. You should discuss it with him that you are not ready to commit to a marriage life yet and if he is such a nice person as you describe, he will understand and wait until you are ready. Good luck.
2007-09-21 03:34:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not ready your not ready. If he really respects you and loves you then he will wait if he does not wait he does not really respect you by pressuring you into the decision. Not to mention if there is something in your gut that bothers you and your not ready for the situation there is probably a good reason.
2007-09-21 03:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by tonice248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is more of a personal question, but if you arent ready for it, seriously dont even consider doing it, just tell him you arent ready, and if he doesnt understand, well then things arent right for u 2. Never do something like that if you arent ready, it will make your life a disaster if you do it too early...
2007-09-21 03:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by videodude829 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready, you're not ready. It's good that you know what you want (or don't want) and you shouldn't allow someone else to pressure you into anything.
Five months isn't long to know someone...if he's in such a hurry, then he's not a good match for you. Take your time...
2007-09-21 03:28:33 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'f your not ready, don't have a baby or get married, and if he's treating you bad then you need to think what is best for you!
2007-09-21 03:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋