My mother just got evicted for non payment of rent. She wants to move in with me and look for a bigger apartment so i can move with her and help witht he bills. I have had my own apartment since i was 17 because we would always get thrown out she nevers pays rent. I have a 5 month year old and a 2 bedroom i just moved ito so she can have her own room. My mom has 3 other kids. I love her and i wouldn't mind taking in my siblings but if we were to get a bigger place together she wouldn't pay her portion of the rent/utilites and i don't want to go through that s*** all over again when i have my own apartment and my child to worry about. Please please help!!!!
2007-09-21 03:21:40 · 12 answers · asked by natalieteixeira 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have never figured out why she can't pay the rent/utilities. She is on welfare and her rent was like less than $300. No drugs or mental illness to my knowledge. I don't get welfare and wouldn't want to anyways but I pay all my bills on time if not ahead of time. She has no where to go i fell obligated.
2007-09-21 03:34:58 · update #1
Well, you are going to have to sit down and talk to her. Make sure you have all your thoughts in order before you do so. You don't have to be mean about it, but be firm. You have your own life and have things in order. You are not responsible for her mistakes or for fixing her mistakes. You have a family of your own and do not have room for her and her 3 kids. Tell her you know she won't pay her portion of the bills because she hasn't done so in the past, and you cannot afford a more expensive apartment.
Also, check with your landlord on the occupancy maximum for your apartment. In KY, only 4 people could occupy a 2 bedroom apartment according to health and fire safety regulations. Once your child turns 6 months, he or she is considered to be 1 person. So there are already at least 2 people living in your apartment (don't know if you're married or living with someone) and your mom wants to bring 4 more people in. That's a huge "no-no" here that could get you evicted if the landlord were to find out.
Hope this helps! Sorry you have to stand up to your mom, but you can't let the problems she has brought on herself become your problems.
2007-09-21 03:37:01 · answer #1 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her only you and your child are on the lease and you risk getting thrown out if she moves in and you cannot allow that to happen. If she has to go to a shelter for a week it may make her grow up. Like others said if you need to take in the brothers and sisters you can apply for a bigger apartment and social services help for rent, utilities and food stamps. But don't let Mom in the door. I know it will be very hard but you have a lifetime of this all ready. Think about your baby.
2007-09-21 10:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find a way to tell her no...but you could find a nice way to word it. Let her know that you do the best you can to take care of your own kids and that if you could take her in you would but it just wouldn't work out right now. Maybe even offer to take in your siblings. But be firm with her. Sounds like she would be a drain on you eventually. Best of luck.
2007-09-21 10:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by SpeedyGonz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother that she is welcome to VISIT days only - but she cannot live with you because of her past inability to pay rent. You don't say so, but no doubt there are other issues that prevent her from paying rent on time - mental illness, substance abuse, whatever.
That said, she is toxic so don't feel guilty for saying "no."
The only compromise I would make would be to petition the court for full custody of your siblings. They deserve better.
2007-09-21 10:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! our lives are extremely similar. My fiances mother is exactly like yours. she does the same thing, lives somewhere for a few months, gets thrown out, has low rent and is affordable except she doesnt pay (who knows why) and she always asks if she can come live with us. i know how you feel
bc its frustrating that they are this old and cant get themselves together. bud sadly we have helped his mother so much that i am at my breaking point with her drama. put your foot down. u have a kid u need to be responsible for. she needs to be responsible for herself and cannot push this guilt on u. put ur foot down, ur kid comes first, say no and mean it so that she can finally stop having someone to lean on. she cant afford the place so its her problem.
2007-09-21 11:17:35 · answer #5 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her it won't work out, you don't want to move in with her and she wil have to find other arrangements.
and tell her why -- because she never pays bills...
i think that is sound reasoning for you, and it's the truth, after all.
take care of YOU.. you are not responsible for any other adults, including your mother.
2007-09-21 10:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be honest & tell her that
she can live with you for few weeks until she can find a new apartment & also let her know that your not going move in with you so she should find something cheap
2007-09-21 10:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom the truth...tell her you dont want to live with her because you know you will be stuck with all the bills.
2007-09-21 10:28:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest.....probably gonna be hard, but in the long run, it will be the best thing for you and your child!
2007-09-21 10:38:45 · answer #9 · answered by dragonfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground. Your mama seems irresponsible.
2007-09-21 10:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by Starte Christ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋