to those who volunteer in rescues?!?

Question

I was sent this earlier today. It made my day.
q: do you think this would be a good way to screen calls?:)

Body: Hello, You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts
Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:

Press 1 if you think we are veterinarians and want free medical advice.

Press 2 if you know we are a rescue organization but want to save money and have us give you free, untrained medical advice anyway.

Press 3 if you make $200,000 a year but still want us to pay to spay the "stray" in your yard (house).

Press 4 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.

Press 5 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and dogs at the same time.

Press 6 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.

Press 7 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

Press 8 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.

Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not active and is going to outlive you.

Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

Press 11 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your 150 pound, 8-year-old, unneutured, aggressive dog.

Press 12 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home today and pick up the dog you no longer want.
Press 13 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.

Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.

Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.

Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog to be euthanized because we can't get to your house in the next hour.

Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.

Press 19 if you want one of our perfectly trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred tiny dogs that we have an abundance of.

Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your neighbor's cats.

Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.

Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.

Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.

Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your religion.

Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.

Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because it is declawed, but are not willing to accept the responsibility that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.

Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.

Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel.

Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.

Press 32 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.

Press 33 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.

Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog.

Press 35 if you went through all these 'presses' and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the
vet mercifully frees him from of the grief of missing his family.

WE SALUTE YOU RESCUERS, VOLUNTEERS and SUPPORTERS!!!

(what do you think?)

of course it is a joke!!!!

Answer 1

You forgot

press 14 if you can no longer deal with your dog with no tags or microchips being let out to run free and ending up at the county shelter where you have to gasp PAY to get it back- you just can't afford it anymore so you want us to take it off your hands. The way he escapes that unfenced yard is just terrible- we know.

press 38 if you got a free dog thinking it'd make a great hunting dog, herding dog, guard dog, etc, found out it didn't and decided to leave it outside for days with no food or water and now the whiney neighbours are trying to get you in trouble with animal control so you want us to take your dog.

Answer 2

That's about it LOL ....although maybe there should be some "good side" numbers???

"0" if you are willling to take a large, destructive, hyperactive, untrained 11/2 yr old male mix who isn't housetrained and make him your best friend who will break your heart when you put him down at age 14. Anyone willing to commit to this should be put through right away.

"77" if you are willing to adopt a senior dog with some health problems and give him a peaceful, warm and happy old age.

"1,000,000" If you want to foster because it means more than teaching a dog manners while waiting for a forever home---it means giving up a piece of your heart when that animal leaves you...and so you are one in a million.

Answer 3

Sadly isn't that so true. The way people view animals is awful. I want to take all the unwanted animals in the world and look after them myself lol.
I have a Guinea Pig rescue instead as my way of helping just a little bit and several of those options would definetly apply to some of the people i've had to deal with.
Press 82 if you have had a Guinea Pig for 6 years and it is suddenly i'll from having lice and improper care for the last 5 years and you want to dump it on a rescue because you can't bear to see it die in the next week from "being too busy to look after it". Wake up people!
Euthanize the rapists and killers out there and use the millions spent on prisons to fund a rescue organization for pets that's only crime is loving their owner that doesn't deserve them.

Answer 4

I don't work at a shelter, have adopted from them though. This was not a joke unfortunately it seems to be the truth. Looking at craigslist seeing all the pets needing to be rehomed at the age of 7 and up and the puppies that are just months old that they've grown tired of already, how can people continue with their lives after doing this to these babies it would eat me up inside. I'd rather be homeless if I wasn't able to find a place that would let me keep my pets, the kids they'd be getting shots, the b/f he'd be hitten the road! I have instructions in case something would happen to me so my pets will have homes.

Thanks to all of you for helping to save these pets! You are blessed.

Answer 5

I've heard this before and it is so true. While we all know there are truely some legitimate reasons for having to give up a pet, we hear far too many of the less than sincere ones. I took in a 7 month old puppy because, "She runs in the house and leaves her toys laying around". Lady, don't have kids, they do the same thing and worse!

Answer 6

oh that is funny and as a rescue volenteer to true. im a volunteer not a vet, behavioral specialist, or trainer all i do is love the discarded animal until an approved forever home is found. i work with them to the best of my ability but that does not mean they will be perfectly trained it means when they leave my house they know what love, a warm bed, and a full belly are.

Answer 7

Wow! I think you covered it all! Wouldn't it be different if the tables were turned.

Edit: Bozema-I think you forget that shelters are not there to give customer service to humans. They are there to help and give service to animals!
The rare time we have a really good reason for a surrender, those people are treated with respect and compassion. The dog wakes up the new baby excuse gets my disgust.

Answer 8

Well done! I love you frankness. It is ridiculous what people think is an acceptable reason for discarding an animal. My husband and I have accounted for or dogs in every possible situation that may occur. They are included in our fire escape plan. To be a responsible pet owner, you honestly have to think of the animals as another family member.

Answer 9

Yup, this pretty much covers it well for all the excuses people give to relinquish their beloved pets. My BIGGEST pet peeve of an excuse is when people think that just because a new baby is on the way, that the pets must go!

Answer 10

hat would be wonderful if you could really put that on the answering machine.
Everyone who does rescue work feels this way from time to time.
Makes me really hate humans when I see how they treatt heir pets and never never never take any responsibility for anything and then teach their children to the same.