the teavhers think i should hold my son back in the first grade already?

Question

well its only been 1 month into the school year and they say my son is having problems cause he only get what they are talking about when he get 1 on 1. he is the youngest in his class considering alot will be turning 7 later in the fall he just turned 6 a couple weeks ago. they say he's easy to work with and sets an example for the other kids as far as behavior. My son can add subtract read most sight word and very good at sounding out words. he just does not get the directions when she gives them to him they said he can start kindergarten right away like i should be thrilled they have him in a reading program now for about 2 weeks and they say they think its not going to help Already but i just dont get it . they seem like they are against him by not offering alternatives so soon do you have any suggestion?

Answer 1

There is more to being ready for school than cognitive abilities like doing numbers and reading. We tend to forget that the biggest issue for many kids is social and emotionally readyness. This is one of the reasons so many schools have pushed birthday deadlines back..schools started to realize that, especially in K and the first few years of elementary school, six months difference in age could mean a big difference emotionally and socially.

Set up a time to talk to the teacher and the school admin. Ask the school psychologist to observe your child as well. If possible, arrange time for you to observe class (preferably without being seen, but that can be tough) so you can see what the class is expected to do, how the majority of the kids handle it and how your son responds. Many kids need a second year in K...and it is far better to address the issue now, putting your child in an enviroment that can meet his emotional needs as well as his social and educational, than to leave him in a situation that may, over the course of time, set him up for repeated failure and frustration when he has to struggle to follow directions and keep up.

At the meeting, suggest the idea of a split schedule...doing some things with the first grade class as appopriate but spending other time in the K to work on listening skills. You can also ask for a full assesment, to see if there may be other issues going on. A basic hearing screening and a visit to the eye doctor would probably be helpful as well.

Finally, after all is said and done, go with your gut. Take into consideration all that you have been told, how your son is feeling in his current class (and be sure to ask about that..is he happy or is he coming home sad, with headaches and saying he is frustrated because he can't follow directions) and what his needs are and make your choice. They can't move him without your permission.

Answer 2

Could you ask if you could sit in at the back of the classroom for a day so that you can better understand what the problem is? I can see from your perspective if you know he is starting to read and good at math then it's hard to understand why he should repeat kindergarten. Maybe if you can see him in action you can figure out why he's having trouble with understanding the directions and make a plan to address that, or perhaps after seeing it if it seems like he has attention problems that might just be age-related you might agree that one more year of kindergarten might help. You might also ask that your son be tested by reading and math specialists to determine what his academic level is.

Did he have problems in kindergarten? Can you have a conference that includes both the first grade teacher and last year's kindergarten teacher (who clearly thought he should move ahead?). Perhaps the kindergarten teacher had some successful strategies to help him out that would work this year.

Does he have trouble following directions at home or other situations (like soccer practice)? Try to practice that skill with him at home whether he stays in first grade or repeats kindergarten. The suggestion about his hearing is a good one, too. If you observe and it seems that he might not be hearing the questions (or that he might have attention problems that would benefit from your pediatrician's help), take him to your pediatrician -- in that case it would be a bad idea to hold him back. Some problems do get better with age; others might require an IEP or other help from doctors and school aides, etc; and still others might be resolved by helping your son practice paying attention. I'd sit in on the class and try to figure out which of those situations your child is in. Good luck.

Answer 3

A teacher can not give a student 1 on 1 attention for each lesson, they just can't. If the only way your son understands any of the lessons is being taught one-on-one then he will NOT benefit from grade 1 at this point.

So he either a) needs a special ed teacher/assistant to give him the one-on-one attention or b) needs to go to kindergarten where the lessons are presumably easier.

If he is just barely old enough for grade one it is probable that he will learn more both this year and next if he does kindergarten this year and grade one next year.

There is absolutely no point in keeping him in a class where he isn't learning anything. I would be happy that a teacher is discussing options now rather than after he had waisted most of a year.

However if you don't feel kindergarten is right for your child, then you can get him assessed either through the school board or privately to see if he is on track, has learning disabilities, what needs to be worked on, etc.

Answer 4

That is absurd. They have all year to work with him. Sounds like they don't even want to put it any effort. A good teacher/school would do all they can to help him excel. I would talk to the principal & get a tutor for him a couple nights a wk for some 1 on 1. Do not accept that they are giving up on your son 1 month into the school year. thats totally ridiculous.
Just b/c he needs instructions repeated to him and explained 1 on 1 is not a reason for him to be held back and is certainly not a reason to suspect aspergers or anything else. He is a kid. He is 6 years old. I would just talk to them and tell them you will do all you can to help including a tutor & ask them straight out what their plan is to help him.
good luck

Answer 5

They are giving your son an alternative to failing, holding him back. He is young and unfortunately schools do not have the resources to teach him one on one. He sounds like a smart kid, so it isn't fair for you to let him suffer and fall behind which would do more damage in the long run. He is still young enough to establish new friends. I am sure the teachers want what is best for him too, and they think him repeating kindergarten is the best situation. And you could look at it this way, when he is 15, all of his friends will have their driver's licenses and he will still be a year behind.

Answer 6

I hate to tell you, but they've been doing this for a LONG time. There are other components that go into their decision, and chances are, they have the principal backing them already. I'd take their advice--especially since your son is borderline with his age. I'd move him ASAP to the kindergarten class, don't make a big deal out of it. He won't really know, other than he has a new teacher and a new class. You don't need to say why. You want what's best for your son--it doesn't mean he's dumb or immature. In fact, it means that he's acting his age, which is a good thing! I'd follow their advice and put him in the kindergarten class. You don't want to shut him off to learning this early in life by having him do something that he's not ready for in school because that will set the bar for the rest of his educational career. Good luck!

Answer 7

It would be worse to move him later on. Let him go back to Kindergarten. My younger brother was in the same situation when he was that age. He repeated kindergarten and the difference was amazing! He was at the top of his class all through school. Now he's got a masters degree in History. They're not against him, they just want to rectify the problems as early as possible to avoid further problems later on. It would be much easier and much less traumatic to hold him back now then to have to hold him back at the end of first grade or even later. Believe me, I don't think my brother or anyone else who is all grown-up now would tell you that being held back in kindergarten was a bad thing or hurt them in any way. Good luck!

Answer 8

I would say no, that is not an acceptable reason to hold a child back. You need to get down to the reason that he can only understand when he gets one on one. It is most likely a hearing problem (you could consider having it tested, very simple procedure) or maybe he is just having trouble paying attention. From personal experience, we were told to hold my brother back in the first grade as well, and that he was having trouble reading (they were implying he was dumb I guess, it was quite sad!) WELL! We got him a reading lady, and maybe she helped, maybe she didn't. What did help him was playing Zelda (lol!) all the reading, etc. kept him entertained and he could read better than anyone else by the second grade. Now he's goes to Tulane and gets straight A's. Point is, maybe his attention span really hasn't developed, maybe he is immature, but I think there's got to be a way to get him to read (video games!) and better yet, an after school reading lady. If he's a very shy kid like my brother was, the reading lady might really help his confidence. Good luck! He'll be fine.

Answer 9

♥ If he is doing sooo well with everything but directions then why would they want to hold him back? The teacher should take the time to walk over & personally give him the directions if thats what he needs... after all he's only in the first grade [[not middle school or highschool]]. If I were you I'd have a parent/teacher conference and ask what else [[besides him needing the directions repeated twice]] went into their decision and see if they have nething to back it up. All I know is they cant base their decision on that, because I'm in college and still need directions repeated personally at times... Good Luck!

Answer 10

If he was successful in kindergarten, I woudn't move him back because it would be redundant. Why repeat what he already learned unless he had a hard time with it last year? You probably have 2 options. You could leave him in 1st grade and if he truly has not become prepared to go on to 2nd, he could repeat 1st. Also, a lot of schools offer a pre-1st class and that may be well suited to his needs. Also, some offer a pre-2nd grade class for the kids that are not ready to meet the demands of 2nd grade, but were able to get through 1st. Ask your school if they have any of these types of programs. You need to decide for yourself what he really needs and know that with his young age, you won't be doing any harm to him if you decide it would be best to keep him back. Alot of boys need that extra time. I would think it would be best to do it now rather than waiting and finding out he really has to struggle in the years to come.