What's the difference between self-pity and depression in terms of recognition and (non- drug) treatment?

Question

This information would seem useful personally and in relating to others. One might be a better friend by dispensing a swift kick in one case but in a different case that swift kick could be devastating. Also, I've noticed that whereas vulnerability is closely associated to loveableness, there are also those who seem , consciously or un-consciously, to cultivate an air of vulnerability which is effectively manipulative. Again, I'd like skills in recognition and response, both in oneself and in others. Suggestions?

Answer 1

Soundproof's answer is terrible! A person with depression frequently gets into a mode where they hate themselves, thinkthey are stupid, that everyone hates them, that they are worthless, etc. In fact, that is a classic symptom!! For a person who isn't CHRONICALLY depressed, you would see that go away when they are doing well (but you know, people who are very depressed try to hide it, and they may still be depressed and YOU don't realize it). You can also look at how that person has been over their lifespan, if they were always a manipulator or self-pitier, then you can be pretty sure they are hamming it up to some extent (but maybe not entirely, certainly even manipulaters/woe is me-ers can get depression too!) I have bipolar disorder, so I go thru the full spectrum of full of myself, everyone ELSE is stupid, don't bother me, my work is great, etc. all the way to everyone hates me, I'm awful, sooooo stupid (yep, I was in a Ph.D. physics program before I got bipolar too bad, and I STILL think I am very stupid when I am depressed).

I think it is hard for another person to know what is going on. I think you should try supportive listening first, and get a feel for the situation, and don't use tough love unless you are SURE. Even therapists and psychiatrists get it wrong A LOT. There's nothing wrong with telling a friend that she or he is inadvertently making you do something you don't want to, and how can you work something out where you can be there for them ,but not feel like you are forced to do something? I'd leave that word manipulated right out of there!

Well, that's what I think. I know a lot of people with mental illnesses of various kinds, mostly bipolar, and all of us can have personality disorders as well as symptoms of the mental illness itself. So hard to tell! But don't go down the judgmental path, it's too easy to make a mistake.

Answer 2

Self Pity And Depression

Answer 3

Depression , to me, usually is a solitary game. Self-pity can be something someone is "putting out there", (talking about how pathetic or what a loser they are...).
The swift kick goes to the self-pitier...
Vulnerability, in small children, is associated with lovability, in grown-ups it can be very manipulative and the ways to discern if you are being manipulated are to see if there seems to be an agenda or the person who appears vulnerable is seeking help or assistance, if they have an obvious ulterior motive, or if it gains something for them. These can all be applied to self, as well. Self-awareness is important for you discern your own motives when dealing in the world. "Checking-in" from time to time, will help you to decide where you are.

Answer 4

I would tend to believe that people who feel they have to manipulate and try to make people feel sorry for them, must also have some mental health issues, or very low self-esteem... which isn't good, either...

Those with either problem -- low self-esteem or depression -- could use sme good self-help material to find ways to cope with their problems.

take care.

Answer 5

It is challenging to even think of that a book can help individuals to alter their destinies but } thousands of mens and females, people that they have actually benefitted in a huge